My Mommyology

February 18, 2015
by mymommyology
14 Comments

Girl Scout Cookies, Anyone?

As if our schedules weren’t already busy enough, Sam came up to me one day and asked if she could be a Girl Scout.

Sam’s interest in Girl Scouts was sparked because the five girls that she plays with in school — in her classroom to be exact — were all in the same Daisy Troop. A Daisy, (I learned a few weeks ago), is what you call the first level of Girl Scouts who are in kinder and first grade. The trivia behind it is that Juliette Gordon Low, the founder of the Girl Scouts, used to pick Daisies when she was a child; hence the name.

Anyway, when we inquired, we found out there was ONE SPOT left in that particular troop. Would we like to take it?

Sam was excited. I have to admit, I was hesitant. Another activity to add to our roster? Yikes. I was told parent volunteering at Girl Scouts was heavy at this age (naturally, the girls are too young to be left alone). I spoke to some other moms and my husband, and a lot of them advised we wait until the fall to start as a Brownie. The Daisies had earned most of their badges / petals by now, and so Sam would be left behind. Plus they were in the midst of cookie season. It may be hard to catch up.

The thing was, our Troop leader couldn’t guarantee that the slot would wait for us until the fall. And if that was the case, what was the point of joining since Sam wouldn’t be with her friends in the same troop anyway?

So despite my apprehensions and worries, and much to Sam’s squealing delight, we confirmed the slot. And before I go on, I’d have to thank the two people in my village, my wise friend Polly (who also happens to be one of Sam’s godmothers), and my cousin-in-law Patty. They helped me realize (and put into practice what I learned from DYC) I was putting my fears on Sam, when she had none. And this wasn’t about me. But as her parent it was my role to go throught whatever natural consequences this would lead us to. So, coming from a “place of freedom”, I said yes to the whole experience, and became a Girl Scout Mom.

It’s been 11 days to be exact since Sam attended her first Girl Scout meeting. She. LOVES. IT.

I was told that Sam could earn the petals and leaves at our own pace, so I bought the Daisy guide book that contains all the steps she needs to do for each petal. She’s been highly motivated (read: gung-ho) about earning the petals and badges, and every day since then she’s been doing as many of the activities as possible to show me that’s she’s earned a petal, and so could we please stick it on her vest already.

The Daisy Vest and Petals.

Deep down, the daily pestering of earning one petal after another, is tiring. She’s short of obsessed. I suppose she sees it is a visual sense of accomplishment of being a part of something bigger. So I try to keep up and pace ourselves with one petal every two or three days. The more we do it though, the more I see — it’s a great way to teach girls life-long values.

Sam already knows all the names of the flowers and what they stand for. Credit: Girlscouts.org

Each petal represents a line in the Girl Scout Law that every girl scout knows and needs to uphold. It’s presented through stories of different flowers, and contains activities for the girls to do to help grasp the concept further. And because she’s so intent about sticking all those petals on her vest as soon as possible, Sam has become more conscious of what she does and why she does it. It’s become a common language between us too, and it helps me better explain things when I put it in the context of the lines of the law.

And then of course — there are the cookies.

Oh my word, the cookies. Sam couldn’t wait to get in on the action and sell. A part of the process was to teach the girls to set goals and work to achieve them. When they do, they earn prizes, which increases as the number of boxes sold increases. The more you sell, the more prizes you get. It’s a typical incentive scheme.

Well, it’s worked for Sam. Since we jumped in late, I was trying to level her expectations and help her set her goal at 75 boxes (at best). “But Mom,” she protested, “The prize I want is for 165 boxes.” faint. Where in the world were we going to sell 165 boxes?

Apparently, all over the world.

The rule is that she has to sell, as it’s her project and her incentive. I can only assist and guide, and occasionally type up the message she dictates (as the typing takes FOREVER!).

The first step: email and Skype with family and friends.

Sam devised her selling strategy, and wasted no time in asking me to scour my phonebook for people we could call, text, email, leave voicemails, and messages. Anything to make her sale. She’s even sold to family and friends back home – so my husband has packed 30 boxes of cookies into his suitcase for his trip on Friday.

She’s also already gone door-to-door in our neighborhood.

I’m gonna knock on your door…

She maximizes every opportunity. While waiting for Jamie to finish her class, she pounced on parents picking up their kids and sold cookies in the parking lot.

With her make-shift cookie display.

Then she got the opportunity to sell at my friend’s salon. There was no hesitation walking up to the different people (whether their hair was being colored or washed or what not), to ask them if they’d buy cookies.

Here she is collecting $20!

Of all the girl scouts in her class, her teacher says Sam was the first one to ask her to buy a pack of cookies. And she even approached their school principal too (eeep!)!

We’ve also done a booth sale outside an Albertson’s in our neighborhood. I think she jumped in front of every person that came out that door.

Our very first booth sale!

She is the happiest cookie sales person I know. I’m genuinely amazed at her confidence, and I’m so impressed by how quickly she grasps the concept and executes without hesitation. Is that mpressive for a 6-yr old? Many have said they can’t refuse her because she does such a good job (and it helps that she’s cute!). She doesn’t seem to be bothered by rejection either (Is that a good thing?), because after someone declines, she brushes him off and moves on just like that.

Unlike me, she doesn’t seem overwhelmed at all (To be fair, I did have to do all the preps and online training and paperwork to get us accredited!). In fact cookie selling has motivated her to finish homework and Kumon faster.

My husband says we need put a cap on the cookie selling already. “She’s learned what she needed to learn,” he says. “How many cookies should we sell anyway?”

But Sam refuses. She’s having fun, and she’s learning (mastering?) life-long skills. Plus, she’s totally motivated by the rewards she’ll get in the end. How can you not support that? It’s not everyday that you have an eager and highly driven child.

As the mother standing by the sidelines (literally), she is a joy to watch. And by doing so, I continue to learn so much more about my daughter. I’m quite glad I didn’t let my apprehensions stop her in the first place.

So — cookies, anyone?

***

Thank you to our friends and family around the world who’ve supported and helped Sam by buying cookies! You do realize that this is going to be an annual thing, right? 😉

If you’d still like to buy cookies from Sam, send me an email and I’ll have Sam type up your e-card so you can order and pay online and the cookies get sent directly to your door. We have until March 4!

February 16, 2015
by mymommyology
17 Comments

A #TrailingSpouse’s Village

Welcome to the 4th run of the #TrailingSpouseStories. This love month is not only for expressing our love for our expat partners. There are other people and objects of our affection like our home countries. This month we trailing spouses talk about our homesickness, our longing for our home countries, which we do love in more ways than one.

***

In light of this month’s #TrailingSpouseStories theme, I’d like to share my personal theory on homesickness (or the lack thereof). And for all intents and purposes, the only basis this theory has — is me. 😉

We are all born into a “village”. Apart from our immediate family, it’s all the relatives, friends and help that we get to raise children into the best kinds of human beings we possibly can be. Hence the well-known African proverb:

… or some e-card funnier version of it. 😉

When you’re born and/or raised into your “village”, the tendency is to accept everything that comes with it, without question. All the personalities, the weird and odd things, the relationships in all states and stages and the social skills, or lack thereof. It’s the whole package. It’s what you know, how you were raised, and what you believe to be right and true. And the village stays together and is very close-knit because everyone follows the same culture and belief system (How very M Night Shyamalan of me!). This therefore makes a member of the village loyal; and as an effect, builds attachment and interdependency amongst its members. Really, what’s wrong with that?
The problem comes when life happens and you have to leave the cozy confines of your village to create your own, start anew, and well… trail your spouse. And everything that is new and different takes some getting used to. Admittedly, it’s just harder.

That’s when the homesickness sets in. It hits hard especially if a person had the most positive experiences of their lives in this village. It’s very hard to let go of those.

When I’m feeling blue, all I have to do…

But here’s what I realized, all thanks to my wise mentor and slightly balding Godfather (aka “Ninong”, but The Godfather kinda gives him a more regal ring to it, no? ;)). During one of our “life” discussions, he once told me I’d survive anywhere if only because I knew how to “create” my own village.

Like everyone, I too was born and raised in a village. But some thing, some circumstance or event(s) along the way of it all made me realize: The entire system I was raised into wasn’t all for me. And somewhere along the way, I learned to customize: I take those that I want, and leave out those I feel don’t fit. It could’ve been a coping mechanism on my part, but all I know is that it’s what works for me (and now for how I raise the girls).

It’s not that I’m unattached. On the contrary, I’m big on staying in touch and keeping strong ties. Many that know me and are close to me can vouch for that, no matter where in the world we are (literally). Thanks to social media and all our gizmos and gadgets, it’s been easier to keep tabs on everyone too.

And I think because of this “trait” of mine, my attachment becomes fluid. Instead of a whole village, I miss parts of it. I miss specific people. Though I miss their physical presence, I’m still genuinely happy to connect whenever we can, physically or virtually (I guess it helps that my Language of Love is “Words”).

When people ask me if I miss the Philippines, I can never give a straight answer. The Philippines will of course always be a home to come back to. And everything that happens to it, the good and the bad, I go through it too. But if I’m being honest, I’ve also had so many positive, life changing experiences outside of Manila, it’s become easy to leave without an urgent longing to come back. The birth of my two children in Chapel Hill can’t beat any other experience I’ve had anywhere else. And I think it’s also paved the open-mindedness towards living away from home. Maybe that’s why with this move to California, we quickly adjusted to our new life, as some have observed.

Also, it’s hard to be homesick when you see that Jamie is significantly better here. Not once since our move, has she had to take antihistamine for her allergy. Her topical creams and ointments? We apply once a week; and maybe twice when the weather shifts drastically.

Ironically enough, it all comes down to the little unit of two little girls and a husband that is my village. With all this moving and trailing and what have you, they have become my home. We’ve developed our own belief systems, social skills and little culture. It has parts of the villages my husband and I originally came from, but it’s essentially its own ecosystem.

My village.

And if you follow the logic, it’s this village that I’ve become attached to. We are interdependent of each other. So no matter where in the world I am, it is without them when I am most homesick.

Read more about other trailing spouses’ experiences with homesickness:

Elizabeth of Secrets of a Trailing Spouse shares how homesickness wasn’t what she expected
Clara of The Expat Partner’s Survival Guide tells how she has been homesick all her trailing spouse life
Tala Ocampo writes about the Life that Was in the Philippines and how she would still say yes to the trailing spouse life
Yuliya of Tiny Expats relives the sensory experience of being back home
Didi of D for Delicious talks about her love-hate relationship with her home country

February 12, 2015
by mymommyology
2 Comments

Frozen Fever Forever (and Ever)

It’s been over a year now since Frozen, and it does not seem like this trend will die down anytime soon.

Frozen is EVERYWHERE. On our cups, our snacks, our closets, our Lego… everywhere. And it seems like they can’t make enough of it too.

And this isn’t even half of the Frozen stuff I found in our home…

Each time we go to the Disney store (in the mall, not in the theme parks!), there is one last piece of a “newly released item” that just went the day that it hit the shelf. The Frozen Lego set, you need to pre-order a month in advance before you get it (I’ve already ordered four for my girls and for my friends’ princesses!). The thing is, even if my girls’ interests have moved on (to Baymax – another Disney hit — and Chima and all of that), somehow they always still go back to Frozen.

Ah-mazing. You’ve got to hand it to Disney. The marketeer in me is totally impressed. They really got this one right in all aspects. The confident, independent princess, the hilarious sidekicks, the love angle… everything. And they weren’t worried about over-extending the use of the characters and the endorsements and licenses across categories either! “Over $1 Billion in revenue,” says the New York Times last November. And it’s been four months since!

Of course, they also turned half of California Adventure into a Frozen wonderland. Yes, despite the measles outbreak, we trekked on over to see what Frozen Fun was all about. I hear that this attraction will run until May (Again how timely of them. Another killer strategy to drive up sales for non-peak season right before peak season starts!), and it’s fun for all members of the family.
There’s the usual meet and greet of Anna and Elsa in the animation theatre. Of course we had to line up for the fast pass for this one too, despite the girls seeing the Arendelle princess and queen ten thousand times before.

The girls get some time to play with Anna and Elsa before their pictorial.

They transformed that part into the interiors of the castle, so you really feel like you’re walking through the girls’ rooms. I have to say that it was smart of Disney to move Anna and Elsa’s meet and greet to California adventure. The marketeer in me understands the revenue generation strategy behind it (when before people could just make do with one park, now somehow you “force” them to visit both!).

Next to it, which not many people announce, is the Animation Academy which teaches you how to draw Olaf. Sam wanted to do it too, except we were out of time. I assume we will come back.

Learn how to draw the world’s most lovable snowman.

The bigger thrill for them was meeting Olaf, and getting those warm hugs.

He’s pretty cute, I will admit.

It’s a 90 minute wait I tell you. At least they give you a buzzer so you don’t have to stand in line the whole time.
They have the section called “Olaf’s Snowfest”, where the kids can play in fake snow (read: slippery crushed ice!), ride down a sled, and eat and buy Frozen things.

Remember when Elsa turned the fountain into ice? Yup. It’s there.

That whole section is pretty chilly and branded really well, down to the last cookie. It really looks like you’re in Arendelle when it’s frozen over.

Found inside Olaf’s Snowfest.

And speaking of selling, there is an actual Wandering Oaks Trading Post with all the Frozen merchandise. Goodness me. I almost bought from there, just because it was the Wandering Oaks Trading Post! (Yes, I am a sucker for these things).

Big Summer Blowout, anyone?

For the older kids and family members, they have what they call the Freeze the Night Dance party. We didn’t stay to do that though, but the merchandising of it all was of Marshmallow, the Frozen Monster.

Then there’s a Frozen sing-a-long (which also requires the Fast Pass). Basically, you sit in the theatre and watch parts of the movie where they sing along with some other fictional characters of Arendelle. Anna, Elsa and Kristoff take the stage too at different times. My husband and I weren’t too thrilled with this one, although every kid in the room loved it. I think we expected more, quite honestly. Actually I’d loved to meet and greet Grand Pabbie. That’s another spin on something they could do, because who doesn’t love those trolls?

Back over at Disneyland, Anna and Elsa are still very much present in the parade. The Royal Theatre which features various plays, now has the Frozen story playing. It’s quite the fun set-up. You don’t get to meet and greet the characters though (man, Disney is SMART!).

And just when you think they couldn’t stretch the Frozen brand any further for the summer, out they come with their first Frozen short, Frozen Fever. It’s said to debut will be out at the same time the new Cinderella movie shows in March. Of course, we already have cinema tickets to use for that date.

The more I live here, the more I become a Disney fan. And because we’re always in the theme parks (you’d think the girls would be over and done with it by now? Nope.), I’ve started to notice these small details that they put so much thought into. Frozen is of course no exception.

The ceiling is the iconic magical snowflake from Elsa.

It’s brands and sub-brands are a dream to have (as a consumer), but I can only imagine the nightmare behind the scenes, but, I assume, all worth it in the end.

So what’s next, Disney? What’s next for Frozen? Bring it on, we’re waiting. Everyone is.
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January 29, 2015
by mymommyology
0 comments

A Post-Mortem of My Mommy Weekend

In celebration of my special day, I will #throw-us-back to the Mommy weekend I never got to share. So here it is. 🙂

Needless to say, I had a blast.

Clockwise: 1) With the cutie little Seba! ; 2 & 3) Catching up with friends; and 4) Shoe-shopping!

Catching up with long time friends, shopping, drinking and just having fun sans children — it was long overdue.

I’ve had friends and relatives who have done this mommy away time before me. And when I listen to them, there are three questions that always come up. I got them too when I promised a post-mortem of the trip!

Were you guilty about leaving the kids / being away from the kids for the first time? How did you deal with it?

To be completely honest, the short answer is no. 🙂 Before you judge, I will tell you why!

First, it was all of 46 hours. Essentially they’d be asleep for 23 hours of it, and for the rest of it, they would be tied to their dad and each other. They had their weekend activities and there was plenty more to fill their time.

As I said before, I hadn’t been away in six years, and I knew that I needed this time for me as well. I was really only trying to take better care of me.

Then there is of course Facetime, which closes the physical distance. The girls would send me videos and call all throughout the day so I did get to see them in 6 or 8 hour intervals.

It was in fact, refreshing. It helped recharge me for the week ahead where I had both girls out of school all the time. I think it was also the most peaceful sleep I had in a long time, with no feet in my face or body wedged into my back!

I’ll admit, at first it felt strange. I’ve gotten so used to traveling with the kids and being pressed for time, I didn’t know what to do with myself now that I had it. Thankfully I brought a book!

Disembarking was the easiest thing too. In fact I found myself at the luggage carousel, already with my underfilled bag in hand, just waiting. It took me a while to realize that I wasn’t going to haul a car seat off or pick up a stroller. I even had a free hand for coffee! Awesome.

Left: I had time to read!
Right: All of what I brought. And coffee!

Weren’t you worried, you know… about leaving them alone with their dad? 😉

We all know fathers care for their kids differently from mothers. But we have to try at some point right? And if I thought about it too much, then I wouldn’t fully enjoy my 46 hours. I told myself not to be too about it all (Thank you, Discover Your Core!). As Elsa says, “Let it Go!”

I did however, try to make things as easy for him as possible.

🙂

I left bags with labels and reminders on our board. No matter how many times I discussed it with him, I knew that 95% would shoot straight through out the other ear. I wrote it down for extra measure.

I called this the idiot board… hehehehe.

Plus, Sam and Jamie have excellent memory. Sam is pretty much on top of their schedule so she was a walking, jumping, high pitched reminder of what needed to happen next.

And the girls most definitely had fun. My husband would send me pictures of where they were so I knew what was happening real time.

Guess where they were all day Saturday?

Of course, I can’t say that it all worked to plan. I’m pretty sure the board was even read.

When I asked Sam later on, she told me they didn’t get their vitamins all weekend (#choochoo much?). As expected, their bedtimes weren’t followed (Yes, I know my husband. And there was a Manny Pacquiao fight he didn’t want to miss). I also knew that the girls would get fast food in their system while I was away.

What caught me totally off guard though was that Jamie didn’t get a bath for two days! And the reason I found this out was because before they went to Disneyland on Saturday, they sent me a video. And when I saw them on Facetime Sunday morning she was STILL wearing her clothes from the day before! Hayayay! Jamie’s daily bath is important because of her eczema, but according to my husband she fell asleep waiting while he finished the boxing match — not a surprise since it ended at 10 and she’s usually asleep by 830. The next day, they just decided to wait for me since I was coming home that afternoon anyway.

They picked me up from the airport and the girls were immediately a jumble of emotions: tired, happy, weepy, sleepy, hungry and relieved. They clung to me after that and just wanted Mom for everything.

I didn’t mind: I may not have been guilty about being away but I did miss them all very much. Forty-six hours was enough time away for now. And I was immediately able to give Jamie her much-needed bath!

Would you do it again?

The short answer, is definitely YES! I can only see its benefits to all of us in the long run. The bigger question is if the girls will be on board with it, heehee.

As my cousin Patty advised prior to my trip: “For as long as you get the kids back alive, then you know he did a good job.”

If that’s the gauge, then my husband passed with flying colors (despite the missing bath time). 😉

January 22, 2015
by mymommyology
0 comments

My Mommyology Discovers: Bibbity Bobbity Boutique Princess Make-Over

Here’s a fun (and as my husband says – pricey!) discovery we made during one of our trips to Disneyland.

In Fantasyland, there’s a store called the Bibbity Bobbity Boutique, which pretty much sells everything royal. At the back of the boutique is a mini princess salon, where “fairy-godmothers-in-training” help transform little girls into the princess of their dreams (They do have a Knight’s package too, but I wonder just how many times that gets picked!).

There are at least 10 stations, always full each time we go! Imagine the profits!

I remember Peggy Orenstein’s book, where she discovered that Disney made at least $4 billion dollars in 2009 on princess products alone. Seeing this boutique in action makes me wonder how much they make now, six years later!

It’s a total hit among the girls. And we parents are the fools that fall for it all.

For Sam’s 6th birthday she wanted a Bibbity Bobbidi transformation. We agreed (My husband, quite blindly – later on to his chagrin), and I called to make a reservation beforehand. It was a good thing too, because apparently they get fully booked pretty fast ALL the time. That’s how many parents fall for this gimmick!

We enter and immediately Sam is called “princess” and we are the “king and queen”. We’re all addressed as “Your Majesty”, and asked to help her pick her princess costume and hairstyle. Because it was her birthday, I agreed for Sam to get the Castle package, which was essentially the whole shebang — costume, crown, wand, make-over and photo session. At the end, there’s a personal escort to meet three of the princesses, skipping the long wait times at Fantasy Faire.

Jamie of course wanted to do it too, but because it wasn’t her birthday, I told her she could only get the Crown Package, which is the lowest tiered make-over of them all. She came in costume but was happy to be a part of the whole experience nonetheless.

Sam chose Rapunzel as her princess, and without further ado, we were escorted to the back to change. Because it was winter, chilly and rainy, we opted to put the gown over what she was wearing. The fairy godmothers-in-training assess your size and will happily assist you if you need one bigger or smaller. The girls were also asked to choose from four different hairstyles.

The choices they make.

You could opt to get the wig of the princess too, but that’s not part of the package and will cost you extra. There are also shoes, gloves, and bags, among other things, but again, that’s more money out. Obviously, that was out of the question for Daddy dearest! 😉

I didn’t realize that for the 30 minutes of the make-over, the girls couldn’t seen themselves. The mirrors were covered and they were turned towards the parents.

There’s daddy, counting the cents draining from his wallet with each passing minute. 😉

That’s another genius detail (You gotta love Disney. They think of everything I tell ya), because when the make-over is done, the girls are presented to their parents as a princess “for the first time”. And then there’s a big reveal by the fairy godmother-in-training when they have the girls wave open their very own mirror. You should see their faces when they see themselves. It’s — magical!

Can you feel Jamie’s smile?!

We were then led to the backroom for the photos, where a carriage set-up awaited. Knowing that we only had one princess package, they asked me if we wanted Jamie to be in the photos and of course I said yes (more bang for the buck as my husband would call it. Two for the price of one). They had the girls in different poses, and after about 10 minutes, handed us a large print out of their best picture, and a few smaller ones. It was pretty cute.

BTS of the photoshoot

Then the girls were personally escorted to meet the Princesses present in the royal hall. On that day for Sam and Jamie, they were Ariel, Snow White and Cinderella. Somehow the princesses know they need to take a few seconds longer with those escorted to them too.

Here they are having a conversation with Ariel.

When my niece did it over the holidays, she was able to meet the elusive Princess Aurora (who we’re told isn’t there very often).

And everywhere they went from that time on Sam and Jamie walked around like princesses (and smelled like hairspray, I tell you!).

To this day, my husband is still reeling from the expense. He says no matter how I justify it, I will never be able to account for each and every penny.

I will admit it’s quite expensive. An authentic Disney princess gown alone is already $70; then there’s still the wand and a crown. The photo package option (which is a non-negotiable for the highest tiered package) is priced at $32. Add everything else in and you really will sweat like a pig! The girls get to to take home everything that was used on them — from the glittery pins, the sparkly stickers, both sets of nail polish, a make-up kit and everything else in between.

The contents of Jamie’s bag. Suddenly we had so many combs!

The girls open their bags every so often and relive the experience. I think they’ve even used the nail polish and make-up over again. Still it was inevitable: we gave my poor husband a few more white hairs on his head. He actually said to me, “never again”, but then Jamie replied, “But what about for MY birthday dad?” Uh-oh.

On the bright side, our Annual Pass got us a 20% discount. So if you plan on going and getting this done, make sure you have an annual pass holder with you!

In an effort to comfort my husband, I ask him to think about how happy he made his two little princess. Now isn’t THAT priceless? 😉