In celebration of my special day, I will #throw-us-back to the Mommy weekend I never got to share. So here it is. 🙂
Needless to say, I had a blast.
Catching up with long time friends, shopping, drinking and just having fun sans children — it was long overdue.
I’ve had friends and relatives who have done this mommy away time before me. And when I listen to them, there are three questions that always come up. I got them too when I promised a post-mortem of the trip!
Were you guilty about leaving the kids / being away from the kids for the first time? How did you deal with it?
To be completely honest, the short answer is no. 🙂 Before you judge, I will tell you why!
First, it was all of 46 hours. Essentially they’d be asleep for 23 hours of it, and for the rest of it, they would be tied to their dad and each other. They had their weekend activities and there was plenty more to fill their time.
As I said before, I hadn’t been away in six years, and I knew that I needed this time for me as well. I was really only trying to take better care of me.
Then there is of course Facetime, which closes the physical distance. The girls would send me videos and call all throughout the day so I did get to see them in 6 or 8 hour intervals.
It was in fact, refreshing. It helped recharge me for the week ahead where I had both girls out of school all the time. I think it was also the most peaceful sleep I had in a long time, with no feet in my face or body wedged into my back!
I’ll admit, at first it felt strange. I’ve gotten so used to traveling with the kids and being pressed for time, I didn’t know what to do with myself now that I had it. Thankfully I brought a book!
Disembarking was the easiest thing too. In fact I found myself at the luggage carousel, already with my underfilled bag in hand, just waiting. It took me a while to realize that I wasn’t going to haul a car seat off or pick up a stroller. I even had a free hand for coffee! Awesome.
Weren’t you worried, you know… about leaving them alone with their dad? 😉
We all know fathers care for their kids differently from mothers. But we have to try at some point right? And if I thought about it too much, then I wouldn’t fully enjoy my 46 hours. I told myself not to be too about it all (Thank you, Discover Your Core!). As Elsa says, “Let it Go!”
I did however, try to make things as easy for him as possible.
I left bags with labels and reminders on our board. No matter how many times I discussed it with him, I knew that 95% would shoot straight through out the other ear. I wrote it down for extra measure.
Plus, Sam and Jamie have excellent memory. Sam is pretty much on top of their schedule so she was a walking, jumping, high pitched reminder of what needed to happen next.
And the girls most definitely had fun. My husband would send me pictures of where they were so I knew what was happening real time.
Of course, I can’t say that it all worked to plan. I’m pretty sure the board was even read.
When I asked Sam later on, she told me they didn’t get their vitamins all weekend (#choochoo much?). As expected, their bedtimes weren’t followed (Yes, I know my husband. And there was a Manny Pacquiao fight he didn’t want to miss). I also knew that the girls would get fast food in their system while I was away.
What caught me totally off guard though was that Jamie didn’t get a bath for two days! And the reason I found this out was because before they went to Disneyland on Saturday, they sent me a video. And when I saw them on Facetime Sunday morning she was STILL wearing her clothes from the day before! Hayayay! Jamie’s daily bath is important because of her eczema, but according to my husband she fell asleep waiting while he finished the boxing match — not a surprise since it ended at 10 and she’s usually asleep by 830. The next day, they just decided to wait for me since I was coming home that afternoon anyway.
They picked me up from the airport and the girls were immediately a jumble of emotions: tired, happy, weepy, sleepy, hungry and relieved. They clung to me after that and just wanted Mom for everything.
I didn’t mind: I may not have been guilty about being away but I did miss them all very much. Forty-six hours was enough time away for now. And I was immediately able to give Jamie her much-needed bath!
Would you do it again?
The short answer, is definitely YES! I can only see its benefits to all of us in the long run. The bigger question is if the girls will be on board with it, heehee.
As my cousin Patty advised prior to my trip: “For as long as you get the kids back alive, then you know he did a good job.”
If that’s the gauge, then my husband passed with flying colors (despite the missing bath time). 😉