My Mommyology

Learning from Motherhood.

September 22, 2011
by mymommyology
4 Comments

Why I Love Matching Outfits: Let Me Count the Ways

My Mommyology matching outfits

You know their my kids when...

I’d have to say, there’s something more to matching outfits than having just aesthetically cute sisters.  I kid you not.  Here are some of my most recent discoveries (and thank you to moms of multiples with two kids of the same gender, who have chimed in):

They are too cute.  Okay fine.  That is the most obvious reason of course.  Everyone who sees siblings in matching or coordinated outfits coo inadvertently.  They are cute right?   When one is in pink and the other is in purple, or one’s top matches the others’ bottom, how can you go wrong?  Maybe when they’re older they’ll hate me for it, but for now they also do seem to like it (Well, they don’t really have much of a choice you see).

There is less of a reason to fight.  If they look the same, then one does not have to be envious about what the other is wearing.  It keeps the peace, it keeps the sanity… it does wonders!  My friend says her twins will want the same thing but in different colors.  Sam as well loves it when she and Jamie wear the same thing.  “I want to wear matching with Jamie Mom!” she’ll say to me when I get them dressed.  And then of course, they’ll happily pose for pictures.

It adds to the memories.  Doesn’t it make the over-all look and feel of the photo better and worth putting in a frame?  Then it’s only mom and dad’s clothes that we have to worry about to make sure it compliments the entire shot.  Framed or not, any kind of matching outfit photo is a keeper.

It’s much easier to pack for trips.  My most recent discovery when I packed for our D.C. trip.

They stand out in a crowd.  It’s not just that they are eye-catching, but I find that it is easier to spot two of a kind than two kids dressed differently.  Your mind zeroes in on what they’re wearing.  So it is also a security reason and it helps me keep track of my girls in crowded places.

It makes shopping trips easier.  This is most especially true when you’re in a mad rush of a sale and have competition for sizes and styles.  Eliminate one factor; choose the same style in two different sizes.  Finito!

It silences the husband. 🙂  The practical man that he is does not understand why I need to get Jamie new clothes when she can wear all of Sam’s old ones.  But once he sees them all happy and cute-looking, he chooses to just smile and allows us to carry on.  At least temporarily, the credit card bill is forgotten. 😉

Do you have a reason you’d like to add?  I’d love to hear it!

September 19, 2011
by mymommyology
6 Comments

My Two Peas in a Pod

Six months!  Oh my goodness!

How did that all happen so fast?  Time does fly.  Jamie is officially halfway to her first birthday.  And somehow, I have (so far!) survived caring for two children.

Veteran moms of two have told me that it does get easier once you hit the 6-month mark, and though we have only reached that particular milestone just recently, I am already getting a glimpse of what they are talking about.  It is a lot of work, I won’t deny that — but it is also a lot of fun.  And all credit goes to both girls and how they are such loving sisters to each other.  I kid you not, I don’t know how I’d survive if they didn’t get along!

Sam is adorably amazing as a big sister.  She is constantly kissing Jamie (clean or dirty she does not discriminate) and hugging her, and is always looking for her when she’s not with me.  She does not seem to mind that she has to share me with Jamie and in fact sometimes, would prefer it just be the two of them without me in the picture.  When they sleep together, Sam is always reaching to hold Jamie’s hand, or attempting to pat her to sleep.  She’s very considerate too.  There are a few toys that Sam would rather Jamie not touch and she says so; but in general Ate (big sister) has no qualms sharing her toys.  She is also such a mommy’s little helper, getting a blanket for Jamie, or helping me put Jamie to sleep.

Sam is the only one who can make Jamie laugh the way she does.

Jamie loves her Ate and I truly believe that she thinks Sam is the most delightful thing in the world.  She always lights up when Sam comes bounding towards her, and turns towards Sam’s voice regardless of what she’s doing.  In the car when Jamie won’t stop crying, Sam will shout above the noise, “Jamie!  Stop crying!”  over and over until Jamie will quiet down.  They take a bath together and play together too — well Sam plays with all the toys while Jamie looks on, but it is always in front of her.  Sam “offers” Jamie a choice of what to play with and doesn’t really speak for her like older siblings would, but asks her what it is she prefers (and then pretends to wait for an answer).  Even when we play “I Spy”, Sam gives Jamie a turn, which is remarkable for someone who is supposed to just be learning how to share and take turns.

I taught Sam to include Jamie in the conversation and to explain what it is she’s doing all the time, so Jamie learns from her.  There are times when I’d catch Sam talking to Jamie, telling her little sister about her day and what she did. I believe Jamie understands what’s going on around her, she just hasn’t been able to formulate the words to reply yet, and hopefully listening to her Ate will make it easier for her in the near future.

I am quite lucky and thankful my girls are the way they are with each other.  Granted that Sam still has her tantrums and occasionally wants my undivided attention and affection, it isn’t so much of a problem than it is just a normal thing for her to go through at her age.  Jamie in turn is amicable and patient, and (I feel) knows the instances when she has to wait for me to finish up with her sister, before I can get to her. There is hardly an instance when she cries and frets for long.  It must really be her personality (thank heavens too if that is the case!).

When I watch them together I catch myself thinking happy thoughts of years into the future and how they’ll be with each other.  Hopefully it will only get better. 🙂

My Mommyology Sisters

This is how they watch TV and nurse at the same time. 🙂

September 17, 2011
by mymommyology
4 Comments

Kid-“Unfriendlies”

Living in Chapel Hill these last three years has actually made me forget that there are people out there who don’t “like” kids.  Everyone in this town (this State for that matter), seems to be extra considerate, sympathetic and understanding of a parent and their kids’ various moods.  Somehow it’s like they all know it is a tough job to be a parent and we (parents and kids alike) all do the best we can to deal with the situation at hand.

Last week after our first Kindermusik class, I had promised Sam some ice cream if she ate a proper lunch.  She agreed and we went to the café to order and pay for the food, ice cream included.  Of course when the food arrived Sam refused to eat it because she wanted her ice cream.  I stood my ground, and because Sam knows that when I say it I mean it, she went into her loud wailing tantrum.  Jamie decided it would be fun to chime in, and at that point I had everyone with two ears looking at me.  Most of them were quite sympathetic, but I knew none of them thought bad of me or judged me and the girls.  Nonetheless  I hauled them and the uneaten lunch into the car as quickly as I could, realizing when I got home that I had paid for ice cream I hadn’t claimed.  So I called the café’s owner who assured me I could go claim our scoop the next day.  When I apologized for the commotion we had caused she said so sympathetically, “Think nothing of it!  You did the right thing mom!” 

The next day I went back to claim our ice cream, and some regulars who were there the day before, saw us again and smiled.  “It’s alright, we all have our bad days!  They’re entitled to them too!” one person said to me after I had explained why we left in a huff. 

By contrast, cut to…

A few days ago, our flight back into Chapel Hill was cancelled and so we got stuck at the airport for 9 hours waiting for the next available flight.  I had packed several activities for Sam, but really only enough to last us 2 extra hours at best; so she spent a good amount of time entertaining herself and running up and down the waiting area and behind the chairs by the windows to catch glimpses of the planes.  How do you explain to a toddler that her flight was delayed?  All she knows is that she is supposed to get on a plane and wants to… NOW.  Nonetheless to Sam’s credit, there was no tantrum or meltdown of any kind.  But she was a little boisterous and loud in a happy excited kind of way.

Jamie — what a trooper I tell you.  She only cried twice for brief periods and slept a lot of the time.  It killed my back I will admit, but we had no major problems with her except for a bit of normal fussing.  So all in all, in spite of the horrendous delay, I thought we (the girls especially) did okay.

My Mommyology Mr Scrooge

Ba-humbug to you too!

Many of the other passengers chose to ignore us, and some even found Sam (and Jamie) amusing with her running up and down and shouting “tad-dah!” each time she reached the end.  Sam never bothered or approached anyone directly, and each time Jamie would cry or fuss I’d move to a quieter spot to try to settle her down (You can’t compete withe the lounge’s acoustics though, I guess it doesn’t matter where you stay).

There was however, this elderly businessman, who made no secret about his irritation for my daughters, and for me as well.  He would be looking at his blackberry, and then every so often he’d look up and spit out a sigh or shake his head in disgust.  At one point when Sam passed behind his chair on her way down by the window, he uttered an “ugh” and sarcastically said “pardon ME.”

Now if I weren’t as tired as I was (and probably if I wasn’t carrying Jamie asleep in the sling), I would have gone up to him and said some not-so-very-nice-things.  I could understand if Sam was tugging on his hair or messing up his jacket, then he’d have reason to be mad; but seriously — she was just minding her own business.  Apparently my husband said he caught this man looking at me as well during the few moments when I would run around chasing Sam, causing her to squeal in delight, as if I was the immature parent and the root cause of improper airport behavior.  But really is there such a thing when it comes to toddlers?  Does anyone in their right mind expect a toddler to sit still for 9 hours for a flight?!  I’m sure any other person would appreciate a happy giggling girl than one who was constantly throwing a tantrum.  I decided to just keep Sam away from him in case I wouldn’t be able to control myself any longer, but I was seriously annoyed at his attitude.

Then this man gets on the flight after we had settled into our seats, and yet he chose to sit in front of our family when the plane finally took off.  He of course heard Jamie have her meltdown (Naturally, it was 1oPM!  Even I was ready to have a meltdown!) and there was nothing I could do to make her stop.  And it’s not like I didn’t try either.  You could see him exhaling deeply and shaking his head again.  I tell you, I had half a mind to put Sam behind his chair and have her kick it all the way home without remorse.

So, to those of you who aren’t particularly enamored with children (And you too, Mr Scrooge.  You must not be from around here, I hope you are just passing through), I understand and I’m not expecting you to love them or even like them.  That is your preference, and I respect it.  But at the same time, I’d strongly encourage you to keep your judgements about me and my children (or any other mom and her children for that matter) to yourself.  Or pass your judgements in silence or in a place where I can’t see you!  I have enough to deal with and I don’t need you and your annoyed expressions in my path.  You probably have no clue what it is like or why my girls are the way that they are.  And when I tell them “You did great sweetie”, don’t roll your eyes at me — because really, they did GREAT under the circumstances.  For as long as they aren’t directly destroying any of your property or pouncing on you without notice, then leave them be.  Leave us be.  Don’t mess with a tired mother who had to survive 9 hours with her kids in a not-so-comfortable airport lounge.

Otherwise, next time, I will have you answer to Twinkly Toes.

My Mommyology Twinkly Toes

Sam's new evil green-eyed alien monster. She gave him the fierce name. rrrarrr!

September 15, 2011
by mymommyology
4 Comments

The Cost of Pester Power

Fathers of little girls are the most prone to falling prey, and once ensared in this trap, they are powerless to stop it.  It is indeed a true WMD – weapon of mass debt.

Case in point:

My husband enjoys taking Sam to Southpoint Mall because there is a lot for her to do there.  She already has her little routine:  She starts with a trip to the outdoor fountain area, and then makes her way into Barnes and Noble’s children’s section for some reading time and play time.  Sometimes, she’ll get away with asking for a new book to take home.  Occasionally she’ll take a detour into the Apple Store to play with an iPhone or an iPad, but that’s only if we’re not rushing her to go inside the mall building.   Then when inside, she will either want to eat her noodles with bread first, or will head straight for the playground and expend some energy.  Then she will ask for her ice cream with sprinkles and her cookie with M&Ms, but she only ends up getting one or the other (because of the sugar high).  Her last stop is in the Gymboree or Crazy 8 stores to watch a little bit of TV.  Suffice to say, it is a staple venue of entertainment for the entire family; at least I get to window shop and to my husband’s delight, a major part of it only costs him some calories.

Sam has always been fascinated by the elevators and escalators, and lately she’s been wanting to ride them up and down to get to her various destinations inside the mall.  One time, my husband allowed her to create her own path, and somewhere in the middle she stumbled across Frankie the balloon man.  Of course without hesitation, she headed straight for him, jumping up and down saying, “I want a balloon Daddy!  I want a balloon!”  probably a little over a hundred times in one breath.

My Mommyology Cost of Pester Power

My little big girl in her pigtails in serious conversation.

My husband was quick to check how much one custom-made balloon would cost, and when he saw people were putting in $1 as tips, he quickly agreed — what’s $1 to make his little girl happy?  Sam shyly asked for a helicopter (The boy before her got one) and once she held onto it, never quite let it go after that.  Her daddy was proud and pleased to have made her that happy.  The mall routine carried on as usual, with an extra skip in both their steps.

The next time we visited the mall, Sam took my hand as we got out of the car and she told her dad, “I want to show Mommy the balloons Dad!”  Read: Mommy’s turn to take me to get a balloon.  So again my husband complied and handed me the $1 — I assume he was thinking once she got that out of her system, then his balloon days would be over.  This time Sam decided she wanted a butterfly, and fluttered all over the mall with it.

A few weeks later, my husband broached the idea of going back to the mall, thinking that a sufficient amount of activity had happened between then and our last trip that Sam would have forgotten about Frankie.  Of course, she did not disappoint and once she was released from her stroller seatbelt, she completely skipped a large chunk of her routine and headed straight for where she last saw Frankie.  My husband and I were both amazed at her spatial recognition memory as she knew exactly how to get to him.  The jumping and the I-want-a-balloon-Daddy chatting resumed once more, and again $1 went to a balloon hat.

After a few more trips, my husband noticed that her usual routine had now morphed into one that involved a stop at Frankie’s station, forgetting most of the activities that didn’t involve $1 tips.  Each time as well, when he’d ask Sam what she wanted to do that day, instead of her usual reply of swimming or playing on the playground, she would automatically say, “I want to go to the mall daddy and get a balloon!”

There were even times he tried to park in a different area in the mall, or distract her long enough so that by the time we’d get to Frankie’s station, he would most likely be gone, but all his efforts failed.  Sam knew where to find him, regardless of the entrance she came through, and she would hold her ground and refuse to eat or play unless she went to see Frankie first.

At one point I checked the playroom and we had a collection of semi-deflated balloon puppies, flowers, hats, butterflies and all other kinds of things.  As my husband started throwing them out, you could see by the pained look on his face that he was counting the $1 tips he was about to throw away.

Nowadays, Sam requests to go to the mall just to get a balloon, and no matter how hard my husband tries to convince her otherwise or bribes her with other activities and tries to distract her from Frankie, somehow he finds himself dishing out his wallet for yet another $1 to please his persistent little Sam.  Each time he looks at me thinking, “what did I get myself into?”, I can only laugh.  That is between him and his daughter.  But really — he has no idea…Frankie is only the beginning. 😉

September 13, 2011
by mymommyology
4 Comments

First Family (of Four) Trip

Finally the time had come for us to take our first air trip as a family of four.  If you recall my packing challenge a few months back for a van and unlimited luggage weight, you can imagine how long I stared at the open suitcase in front of me vis-a-vis what I had wanted to bring for the girls on our 3-day adventure.  I will get it out of the way and say some things about how I chose to pack so we can move on to more interesting things!

  • My Mommyology The Kitchen Sink

    Everything but this, yes?

    I put the girls in as many matching outfits as I could.  It made it easier to count and visualize what they would where for when.

  • All of Sam’s activities / distractions whether on the plane or in the hotel, had to fit in a backpack that she could carry.  Everything else we used, were from apps on the iPhone.  Thank goodness for Dora too, as it made it easy to convince Sam she needed one.
  • I decided it was okay for them to share certain things:  towels, washcloths, toiletries and the like.  Sam shares dirt and germs with her sister anyway on a regular basis…
  • I really only brought enough things for the duration of our stay.  Normally I pack and plan contingency outfits and items so that in case of an emergency, I’d have extra things to reach for without having to spend unnecessarily.  This time though, I rationalized that it wouldn’t hurt too much if I needed to purchase one or two items as needed.  Well, it might hurt my husband’s credit card (Which he claims has fallen critically ill beyond his wildest dreams from our Labor Day shopping spree), but I promised to spend wisely (oh I always do! 😉 ).
  • I decided to live without my Mac for a few days. 🙁  Normally I bring my computer with me everywhere I go, but as I’ve come to realize, the girls keep me busy enough as it is.  Bringing it would have only added to our carry-on weight, and we already had our hands full.

Somehow we made it onto the flight with time to spare; Sam was quite the excited little traveler (who woke me up at 4AM saying she wanted to ride the “big blue jet”).  She got her own seat this time, a first for her and she absolutely loved it.  She couldn’t stop talking.  She enjoyed her table too where we put her pretzel snack and her cup of water.  She ate and drank contentedly and didn’t waste a crumb or spill a single drop.  It was also Jamie’s first flight, which is a milestone I record in their baby books. 

Side note:  If it is your infant’s first trip on a plane, be sure to tell the stewardess and ask for a “First Flight Certificate”.  Both my girls have one and I was so glad that the stewardess on our flight with Sam brought it to my attention, otherwise I would never had known it existed!

My Mommyology First Flight Certificate

Make sure all the crew members sign and get a picture with them too for keepsake purposes!

It was really a “business” trip more than anything since Jamie needed to make a personal appearance at the Philippine Embassy in Washington to get her passport, but we decided since we were there anyway, we might as well take a little tour around the area.  We didn’t plan on going very far, given that we would always need to send Sam to a clean potty at least every two hours or so, and Jamie as well would need to feed and get changed.  Also, we imagined it wouldn’t be a very pleasant experience lugging the double-stroller up and down the Metro.  Then there was also the weather forecast which said “scattered showers” — and I didn’t want the girls to get wet and sick again.  So we kept things simple and headed only about 2 miles out.

We spent the day inside the Museum of Natural History, where Sam was sufficiently fascinated with the “stuffed” animals on display in various parts of the museum.  She kept going back to a few of them, especially the display of the deep creatures in the ocean, which had all sorts of bioluminescent lighting as part of its attraction.  She did like the dinosaur exhibit too, and we spent a good amount of time just circling that area.

My Mommyology Museum of Natural History

Mama Mammal with her cubs.

Afterwards, we trekked into the “mall” to get touristy pictures and sufficiently tire Sam out for the rest of the evening, running around the grassy area.  That worked according to plan.  Then again, she was up at 4AM bouncing on the bed.

My Mommyology Day in DC

A glimpse at our Day in DC.

When I think about it, it’s funny how my husband’s and my sight-seeing habits have changed since we had the kids.  When it was just us, we would push ourselves to see as much as we could in the time that we could do it; even if it meant walking in the rain for miles.  Now, we just plan on making it to one attraction, at best two; and our pace has slowed considerably.   Nonetheless, the girls were troopers, I’d have to say.  There were minimal tantrums and minimal accidents — for the most part.  I love the fact that Sam is old enough to appreciate and remember certain things and it’s so much more fun to take her around these days.  Jamie as well seems very amicable and easy-going, and it was a fairly painless to take her around with us.  It killed my back to have her asleep in the sling while we walked all over DC, but it was the only way.  It also made it easier for me to protect her from the evil raindrops because she was covered and close to me under the umbrella.

The worst part about the entire trip was the flight back home; as heavy rains cancelled our flight when we were already at the airport.  Luckily we had got on an evening flight back instead, making it a 9-hour delay at the airport terminal.  I don’t know how we (I) survived that, with Sam and Jamie both not napping and running low on interesting games and distractions to keep them pre-occupied.  Thank goodness as well that our bags came with us, as I had packed my breastpump in it and desperately needed to express milk!

In any case, we survived and came home in four complete but tired pieces.  Sam fell asleep on the ride home, and while I was uncomfortable to have sent her to bed without a sufficient scrubbing (I was only able to wet towel her clean after we landed), I didn’t have the heart to wake her up to get her clean.  Jamie seemed to have not noticed the difference, and she went to sleep as usual.  It has been days since the trip and we are all still recovering, but at least I now know what to expect for future flights with the girls!

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