My Mommyology

Learning from Motherhood.

November 5, 2014
by mymommyology
2 Comments

Adjustment Phase 1B: Finding a School for Jamie

Finding Sam a school took quite a lot out of me, I wasn’t ready to go hunting for a school for Jamie just yet.  We never had much time alone I always say, and I was happy to take my time.

Jamie though had a different idea.  Every morning she’d come with me to bring Sam to school.  She’d have a little pout when Ate would say goodbye to her and run off to be with friends.  Then she’d ask:  “What about me mom?  When do I go to school?”

So I took a breath, and re-opened the computer once more in search for a preschool.  We’d been on the look out since we knew we were moving, but it wasn’t a serious search.  Jamie’s too young for the public school system, so it was definitely going to be a paying preschool for her.  Location and zoning didn’t apply yet.  It was just a matter of whether or not they still had a slot.  Of course, location was still a main consideration for me since I would be the school bus driver.

I asked around (and looked around), and from what I gathered in the limited amount of time, I concluded that preschools were classified into three:  the “learning” Day Cares (which might’ve been too basic for Jamie already), the parent-participative types where the parent plays a heavy role in volunteering and teaching the child (sorta like a pseudo Homeschool set-up is how I understood it… too much for me! 😉 ) and the Montessori’s of this world.

Every Montessori Classroom looks the same.

Every Montessori Classroom looks the same.

Each one has its pros and cons, but considering my brain was about to explode from information overload, I immediately gravitated to the tried and tested, all-reliable Montessori option.  I suppose a lot of parents wanted the same thing too, since I called four Montessori’s around my area and each one had a one year wait list!  Yikes.

In a frantic panic I searched for schools that claimed they followed the Montessori Method — and found one that was a few miles away from Sam’s school (insert happy dance).  I toured and was convinced.  They were very much a Montessori school, just as I knew and understood it to be.

I immediately made a deposit to secure a slot on the “short” wait list.  I was told that if Jamie were to join, she’d be in the class of the incoming Filipino teacher.  They couldn’t guarantee me a start date, but at that point I felt relief.  At some point this year, Jamie was going to a Montessori preschool.  And so we had time. 🙂

It turned out to be pretty short wait list indeed, because they called us back after a week to confirm our slot.

Jamie's (and Bunny's) 1st day of school.

Jamie’s (and Bunny’s) 1st day of school.

Jamie LOVES school.  She’s loved it before back in Manila, so the wonderful experience continues.  She gives me a kiss and a hug goodbye and doesn’t look back.  Sometimes all I get is a wave.  When I pick her up, she has so many stories to share.

So far so good.  Jamie’s always been an independent person, which works because independence is the basis of the Montessori education.

Photo credit:  howtoparenttoday.com

Photo credit: howtoparenttoday.com

And in Jamie’s case, it does follow — “I want to do it myself mom,” and she feels better about herself.  Jamie’s so much more confident now, and more outspoken.  She’s not as timid to try new things.

I'd never thought to let Jamie handle a glass pitcher at this age.

I’d never thought to let Jamie handle a glass pitcher at this age… but she can do it!

She’s also making friends.

Two of Jamie's favorite playmates.

Two of Jamie’s favorite playmates.

Her teachers say everyone loves Jamie.  And though she’s one of the younger ones in her class, it seems like Jamie helps some of the older kids too with  concepts she’s already mastered.

I’m quite happy for this find.  The tuition is pretty steep (each month’s payment increases my husband’s white hair), but hearing all of Jamie’s stories and seeing her blossom day after day makes it all worth it.

Jamie "at work".  Punching I think is what it's called.

Jamie “at work”. Punching I think is what it’s called.

November 3, 2014
by mymommyology
25 Comments

The Traveling Pictures of a #TrailingSpouse

Trailing spouse, accompanying partner.  Apparently there are terms for us spouses who relocate their families due to a partner’s work assignment or the like.  I didn’t know that when I first moved.  I found out years later when I first wrote a post for Tala on the subject.  She was a “trailing spouse” too and we often exchanged stories and insights as to how we could better cope with our situation. 

As it turns out, Tala and her friend Didi recently launched a Blog Crawl, and she invited me to participate in it.  They call it #TrailingSpouseStories, with the aim to learn from and support other trailing spouses no matter where in the world we all may be.  This month’s theme is all about that “First Voyage”.  

I feel like a Throwback Thursday when it’s really a Monday. 🙂

I’m trying to think back to the months leading up to our first move to Chapel Hill six years ago.  I remember feeling a variety of emotions.  I’d always wanted to live outside of Manila so I was excited and I looked forward to the experience.  I was apprehensive because I was pregnant with Sam and didn’t know the first thing about being a parent abroad.  I was also worried because I was leaving my business and I didn’t know how I’d be able to continue it from there.  While in my head I welcomed the change, it was against my innate nature.

Eventually I adapt, but it does take time.  So I know I need help in making that adjustment.

Since then my family and I have moved another two times; back to Manila in 2012, and just a few months ago, here to LA.  In every move we’ve made, these always came with us:

Travel photos.  Ironic, isn't it?

Travel photos.  There’s an irony in here somewhere.

As you may already know, I’m a picture-person.  I love photos and I take lots of them, because they brings back memories of a time and place that once was.

It all started when my husband and I started traveling together.  In the decade and a half (I just dated ourselves!) of our relationship, one of the things we liked to do was see the world (kinda makes me wish I owned a magic carpet no? 😉 ).  It’s an expensive hobby I know, so it doesn’t happen very often!

On these travels, I’d look for some memento to bring back as a reminder of the trip.  My husband — the practical person that he is — would always discourage me.  What would I do with it?  It’s a waste of money and it’ll just gather dust.  “Take a photo instead, it’s free,” was his money-saving solution.

I actually thought his idea was genius.  A picture captures the moment better than a magnet or a shirt probably ever could.  But I did want to frame it and put it somewhere.  So in the end, he didn’t save money — since he had to buy me a picture frame from that place anyway.  I was happy with any frame, so he would pick some cheap affordable ones.  That was ok though, because in the end I still got what I wanted. 😉

The “cheaper” frames that are now falling apart, years later. My how young and innocent we were then…

He stopped resisting this “expense” soon enough because I really wouldn’t leave without my picture and my picture frame souvenir.  It became a mandatory from every major trip.

And so to this day, we continue this tradition with the kids.

It's harder to choose just one photo in one frame... ;)

Well.  At least the quality of each frame was improving…

These travel photos are displayed in every new home we make.  It’s not always in high traffic areas (in our Manila home it was in a room that people hardly visited), but it’s important for me to have it with us.  More than the physical item, it’s the memories and the stories we share with the girls (repeatedly) when they see it and ask.  It’s become a ritual of sorts when they see it unpacked.  They love having it around too.

It’s never easy to move.  Whether it’s in the same city, the same building, or a different country altogether, there’s still that element of newness that’s just as unsettling as it is exciting.  No two homes are exactly alike.  This collection of traveling photos gives it some semblance of familiarity.  I like to think it anchors us into accepting this new place as our home.  So I always allot space in the suitcases to carry them with us.

My hope is we keep adding to these pictures.  We grow the collection together as a family.  And no matter where in the world we go, we’d always bring a part of those travels home with us — wherever “home” may be for us.

Read about the other trailing spouses’ stories by clicking on their links below.  If you’d like to contribute, please do email tala@talaocampo.com.

10 Years and Counting, from Driving Spiderman

All We Bring We Leave Behind, from The Fatherland

Don’t forget the Holy Water, found on Tala Ocampo’s blog

Did You Bring Your Diploma, also on Tala’s Blog

Lessons on Moving and Packing, also on Tala’s Blog

An Interview with My Newfound Mama Mentor, also on Tala’s Blog

What’s (not) in My Suitcase, from D is for Delicious

The Shoes Should Fit, also on D is for Delicious

Kandy Crush Level 01, from My Kandy Crush

Missus and Migrant, from Ice Cream Sessions

Molly’s Story from The Move to America

October 28, 2014
by mymommyology
3 Comments

A Halloween of Firsts

I was in the waiting room of the girls’ ballet dance studio and all the adults were talking about how much Halloween has changed and grown over the years.  Apparently it’s the biggest revenue-generating season in the US.  It makes sense because the holiday is so universal and there’s so much merchandise from costumes and candy alone.  Plus it’s fun for all ages.  The girls get excited about Halloween for precisely those two reasons:  Costumes and candy (or treats).  And it appears the more immersed we are in Halloween, the more “things” they have to be excited about.

This year, since we’re starting fresh here in LA, I thought we may as well dress up our little home in Halloween decor.

Our little patio all decked in colorful cobwebs.

Our little patio all decked in colorful cobwebs.

We’ve never done this before, so you can imagine the shock my husband had when he walked in the door.

We even bought the craft DIY pumpkins from Target so the girls could “decorate” them and add them to the charm of the apartment.

Sam enjoyed this little project.

Sam enjoyed this little project.

Then of course, the costumes and the parties that come with it.  The girls have attended two so far, each time in a different costume.  For the first time in years, we’re recycling old costumes and outfits!  Thankfully they have enough of those.  I suppose you could say that what we’d normally spend on new costumes, we used on decor? 😉

Sam's "costumes" were outfits she needed in school.  Jamie's Minnie was a gift and her viking was from last year.

Sam’s “costumes” were outfits she needed in school. Jamie’s Minnie was a gift and her viking was from last year.

The families in our little complex also want to have our own party this Friday.  I suppose we’ll be digging through their closets again soon.

As far as events go, we’ve been to two that have also been “firsts”.

We’d never had a Bug Invasion Halloween for one, and the Science Cube in Santa Ana is all about that this season.

What would the world be like if bugs were this big?!  AY!

What would the world be like if bugs were this big?! AY!

There are gigantic life-sized bugs that move when you come near them.  It’s interesting as much as it is scary to be honest.  I guess it is a good mix of spooky (or icky?) meets educational?

There are also other parts of the museum where you could touch actual live arthropods (ewwww…) and go through a neon bug maze to learn about math.  Not bad really.  I gather the bugs are there until November 2 in case you want to see them.

Then just last weekend, we attended our first Pumpkin Race at Manhattan Beach.  I’d never heard of pumpkins racing before until my friend told us to go and check it out with them.  This particular pumpkin race we hear is the most famous one.  It’s on its 24th year.  And it’s quite the spectacle!  You should see the crowd that gathers to race and cheer!

Essentially you turn the pumpkin into a race car.  You can make your own and have it ready when you arrive, or you can buy a “kit” at the pier for $20.

Then you dress it up in any which way you want, and join a heat of 6 Pumpkin-racers per group.  At the signal you send your pumpkin down the hill.

Go Pumpkin go!

Go Pumpkin go!

The winner of each gets to advance into the semi-finals.  And then the winners of each of those rounds makes it to the finals, until there are only 4 racers left to compete for the top 4 spots, all with cash prizes for themselves and for their school.  WHAT!

I was under the impression that it was as simple as gravity and a good set of wheels, but apparently there’s more to it.  In some heats, the smallest pumpkins won over the bigger ones.  And there were a few that started going down but started to swivel and crash into other racers too.  Some pumpkins turned over on their heads.  They lose body parts too!

Clockwise:  Red pumpkin crashes into wall; Mr Potatohead-pumpkin turns on his head.  Bottom:  Little pumpkin makes a mad dash for the end!

Clockwise: Red pumpkin crashes into wall; Mr Potatohead-pumpkin turns on his head. Bottom: Little pumpkin makes a mad dash for the end!

It’s quite fun to watch.  And there were so many creative pumpkins put to the race that day.

Wish I caught the other cute ones!

Wish I caught the other cute ones!

They also have this portion in between where they “punish” cheaters.  Cheaters are supposedly those that race using other non-pumpkin materials.  Like a watermelon for instance.  Or a pineapple (trying to disguise itself as a pumpkin?!)

Goodbye Watermelon...

Goodbye Watermelon…

The website says some people purposely put as their entries “cheater pumpkins” for the entertainment value of it all.

Everyone gets into it too – including the Mayor who has an honorary pumpkin run.  His pumpkin had to make it past the finish line in 8 seconds.

Left:  Guy in orange is the Mayor.  The Mayor!  And his pumpkin is making it's way to us in the right photo

Left: Guy in orange is the Mayor. The Mayor! And his pumpkin is making its way to us in the right photo

We’ve three more days for this Halloween craziness, and we haven’t even gone trick-or-treating yet.  I wonder how different it will be like for us here.  I’ve not yet gotten around to carving a real live pumpkin.  Maybe we’ll save that as a first for next year’s Halloween Holiday.

October 27, 2014
by mymommyology
0 comments

The Constipated Child

Warning:  Potty Talk coming up!

Seriously, when was poop ever cute?!

Seriously, when was poop ever cute?!

If there’s one thing I dread about raising kids, it’s when they get constipated.

From the moment they’re born, counting bowel movements on a daily basis and checking the color and consistency of their poop become your “thing” as a mother.  Why?  Because regular bowel movements are a sign your child is okay.  Some doctors say babies can go for 3 or 4 days without passing stool, but at that point, who wouldn’t worry!  Can I normal adult go 3-4 days without passing dirt?!

I know I used to worry a lot when that would happen (because it happened to both my girls several times).  I would PRAY for poop.  I really would.  And after the agony of waiting and I’d finally see (smell) poop in the Pamper, I would rejoice.  In fact, I don’t think I was ever happier.

I couldn't have said it better.

I couldn’t have said it better.

Things got trickier as they got older, because then they had a say in their food choice.  One of my children in particular (I will not divulge who!) is quite the stubborn eater.  She loves cheese, milk, ice cream, juice… all the things that can easily constipate a child.  For a time she loved guacamole too — like that helped.  Where’s the fiber in her diet?  She refused it (thankfully now she likes strawberries, but I’ll get to the history behind that in a minute).

Because I fear she will be constipated (and often enough I’m right), I try to talk her into eating better.  Sometimes I’m successful and a crisis is averted.  Other times, I’m not.  And oh boy….

Back in Manila it happened a lot because my daughter was often left with well-meaning help who’d just give her what she wanted to eat.  Of course, come pooping time, who does she scream for when belly aches and nothing comes out?

During those times I feel the most helpless.  I hold her.  I give her water.  I rub her stomach and I rub her back.  But that’s basically all I can do.  She’s got to pass the poop through her system herself.  Most of the time there is screaming.  There are loads of tears.  One time, I used a suppository.  I think that scarred her for life because now she freaks at the mere suggestion of it.

Thankfully after each “episode”, we live to live another day.  I hope each time that the lesson is learned, and history doesn’t repeat itself.  Then again, she’s a child.  And of course, history DOES.  REPEAT. ITSELF.  And the helpless feeling washes over me.  AGAIN.

Oh how I wish this was her thought bubble!  Photo credit goes to website mentioned above.

Oh how I wish this was her thought bubble! Photo credit goes to website mentioned above.

In fact it’s more than that — I end up feeling like a bad parent for letting it happen (again!).  I should’ve found a way to stop it, by hook or by crook.  I should find a better solution for it.

And then I think about Coach Pia’s lessons on allowing them to experience the Natural Consequence of things.  Strangely these constipated episodes (that sounds weird) helped me understand this entire concept better.

As a parent, there’s really only so much we can do.  We love our children and we want to keep them from getting hurt and experiencing pain.  But sometimes protecting them from it doesn’t make them more capable.  Sometimes it doesn’t teach them the lesson.  And it’s not like we don’t warn them to begin with.  Experiencing the mistake for themselves is more powerful than any parental heed you can offer.  Sometimes, it has to happen over and over again for the lesson to stick.  Coach Pia says eventually it will, and eventually they will get it.  What’s important is that we as parents are there to see them through it, even if it means doing it over and over again too.

Whew!

Whew!

And so, after getting constipated for the nth time (and surviving), the lesson finally stuck.  Now she heeds my warning when I try to inject some form of fiber into her diet and she refuses.  She takes a pause at the thought of her “butt-butt” being “owie”.  I suppose the wheels in her head have finally clicked, because she miraculously agrees to eat the food I offer, and is eager to drink MORE glasses of water.

Thankfully, we’ve not had any episode since we left Manila.  And her food repertoire is slowly expanding to voluntarily include fiber.  It has gotten easier, but it was quite the journey.  And now hopefully it will soon become a lasting healthy habit, and I will not have to worry anymore about screaming, tearful potty sessions.

It’s funny what parenting lessons poop can teach you.

October 23, 2014
by mymommyology
3 Comments

My Disneyland Workout

As a gift to our family, my parents-in-law gave us Annual Passes to Disneyland (and by default to California Adventure as well).  Who wouldn’t love such a generous gift?  The girls went bonkers at the thought of going to The Happiest Place on Earth “anytime” they wanted.

So that’s been my life for the last 9 weeks.  I have literally been to Disneyland and California Adventure nine (maybe 10) times.  My Instagram and Facebook friends have noticed it too.  They all ask the exact same question:  “Do you go every week?!”  Well, to be fair, it’s not every week.  Sometimes we go twice (yeeesh!).

How can we not get excited about Disneyland?  Who doesn’t grow up on Disney characters?  Sam and Jamie know them all, as I did growing up.  The tried and tested Disney Princesses, and the newer ones like Merida, Elsa and Anna.  Even the Disney Junior Characters like Sofia the First permeate our everyday lives.  The girls’ costumes and birthdays are often Disney-inspired.  And this was further reinforced with the family’s Disney Cruise  earlier this year.  Disney is really fun for people of all ages.

While that may be true, this is too:  It is EXHAUSTING for parents. Exhausting.

Can you see how thrilled I am?

Can you see how thrilled I am?

We live so close to the parks, the girls jump at every opportunity to go.  I figure that while the kids’ school schedule is still manageable, we’d go when possible.  And while sometimes I do get excited and I feel so lucky, I also feel the lasting effects the fatigue brings each and every time.

It’s a production number and a feat.  From the time you get to the parking structure, to the time you’re able to set foot inside the actual park, you’ve already lost 30-45 minutes.  Even the nearest lots require some effort getting children, bags and strollers up and down the escalators and buses.  And Disney is never without people (even their non-peak days, the parks still have a crowd!).

Then there’s the ordeal of getting on sunblock — repeatedly.  It’s that or the burning heat.  I’ve gotten quite the tan standing in line for the girls.  Of course once all is said and done, there’s the ordeal of washing it off hours later when the kids are cranky and tired.

There’s the walking, the carrying, the pushing of the stroller and the lining up everywhere.

Disney's newest product should be a parent's back massage.

Disney’s newest service should be a parents’ back massage.

Let’s not forget the multiple visits to the public bathrooms.  Ay!  I feel like I’ve stuck my hand in every single public toilet bowl there is.  Thank goodness each stall now has potty seat liners and somehow the maintenance of it all has been quite good (so far!).  Watch out though, the automatic flush is pretty strong… and it sprays.  Eww!

At the end of each visit  no matter how long or short, my body is aching in so many different parts.  I don’t want to move the next day.  I seriously hope I’m losing weight from all of these Disney trips.  I don’t think the visits will end anytime soon as the girls haven’t tired of it.  In fact… they may never tire of it.

The nice thing about the annual pass though, is that there’s no rush to see everything all at once.  We get to explore each land in detail, and ride the rides we want to when we want to.  (Quick update:  Now Elsa and Anna’s Frozen Meet and Greet is only a fast-pass.  You need to get to the park early enough to grab a ticket, which will tell you what time to come back.  These tickets?  They usually run out at 10AM every morning and that’s all they have for the ENTIRE day!).  We’ve discovered some nice thing we’d never have gone on if we were pressed for time.

Do you know where this is? ;)

My first time to find lost pirate treasure!  Do you know where this is? 😉

There have been days when we didn’t do any rides at all, and we just trekked to meet one character after another.

Some of the usual, and some of the not-so-usual characters!

Some of the usual, and some of the not-so-usual characters!

There’s always something new to be learned in Disney.  On this last trip, the girls have recently added the Marvel Avengers to their repertoire.

I must admit, he's quite hot for a God of Thunder! ;)

I must admit, he’s quite hot for a God of Thunder! 😉

It’s made Daddy ecstatic.  I can imagine, he’s been playing with dolls all this time, FINALLY he can share his own favorites with his kids! 😉

This Halloween has been quite interesting too with its Villains theme.

Love them.  Love them.

Love them. Love them.

They are AWESOME.  And so in character!  We once witnessed an impromptu “agrument” between the Evil Queen of Snow White and Merida.

There’s a specific area in the Halloween Carnival where you can “conjour a villain”.  It’s cool.  I think we’ve been in line thrice in the last two weeks.  In all of my memory of Disneyland, I’ve never seen a villain walk the streets.  It’s always been the chipper protagonists and perfect princesses so it’s quite refreshing.  I can’t wait to see what they do for Christmas!

Sam has also recently discovered Tim’ Burton’s Nightmare Before Christmas.

Jack Skeleton and Sally

Jack Skeleton and Sally

These are things I’d never have thought to introduce to her.

As we go, I learn some new things too.  I’ve found this app called MouseWait, which gives you the wait times in each ride and restaurant.  I also found a Crowd Tracker Site which predicts the crowd levels on that specific date.  I’ve learned how to work through some of the long lines especially when there’s more than one adult present.  And when we ride “favorite rides”, I always try to find something new I never spotted before.

"Small World" has updated to include some favorite characters too.

“Small World” has updated to include some favorite characters too.

I’ve also found some hidden character spots!  Jasmine and Aladdin’s oasis for instance, isn’t even on the map that they give out at the entrance.  It took a little scouting around but eventually we found them.  And Jamie is a happy camper for it.

Jasmine, the Genie and a very happy Jamie.

Jasmine, the Genie and a very happy Jamie.

An Annual Pass for those that live near Disneyland is definitely worth it.  There are discounts too on food and merchandise (and we do save a lot when we flash the annual pass for food!)

It's where Jamie got her favorite bow and arrow.

It’s where Jamie got her favorite bow and arrow.

The more we go, the more I appreciate the brand that is Disney.  It’s amazing how everything just runs almost to perfection.  Every single person you talk to, from the street cleaners to the parking attendants, to the ride attendants, it’s clear everyone knows their role and their place.  And the customer service is excellent.

There’s always a new discovery to be made at Disney.  I’m floored with how they’re able to keep it relevant and fresh each time… I cannot begin to imagine the planning that goes into each part of the park all year round.  And it’s amazing how each experience (no matter how crowded) stays with you for life.

Disneyland really is a magical place.

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