My Mommyology

Learning from Motherhood.

March 9, 2012
by mymommyology
9 Comments

The Tale of the Lost Chameleon and Bart the Blue Jet Hero (A True Story)

In a world filled with busy bodies, pragmatists and realists – you have to know that little fairy tales still do come true.  All it takes is a little maternal instinct. 😉

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My Mommyology Tiny Pascal

He is the green speckled dot you see to the right of Rapunzel

Once upon a time, there lived a Little Princess Sam, who packed her favorite Tangled miniature toys in her carry-on for an upcoming trip to Disneyworld, Orlando.  The set was a gift from one of Sam’s fairy godmother’s Polly, and it contained Rapunzel, Flynn Rider, Maximus and Pascal the Chameleon, who stands approximately an inch tall (tail included).

At the airport on the evening of the flight out, with a looong day of “no nap” about to come to a close, Princess Sam was angsty, wired and tired, and so the Wise Queen Mother (of course… is there any other kind? 😉 ) allowed Sam to bring out her figurines to play.  After all, Little-r Princess Jamie was fussy too, and the toys would help diffuse the already overtired bunch.

Then before they knew it, the cavalry had to rush and board the big blue jet (as the Princess fondly calls the Southwest Planes), only noticing 90 minutes and a full fledged tantrum breakdown later upon arrival at the Tampa airport, that Pascal the Chameleon somehow wandered and was not in his nice little nook in the backpack.  Of course this news resulted in another wave of distraught wails from the Princess, and she repeatedly cried, “My Pascal is LOST! Oh NOOO!”  It could have been the end of the world from the sound of it.

The Wise Queen Mother (let’s call her WQM) wanted to call the ground crew back in the RDU Airport and see if anyone picked up the little chameleon, but she was instantly dissuaded by the Grumpy Pragmatic — errr — Dad 😉 (You see, only the women in the story are royalty, haha!).  He said, “It’s a 1-inch toy.  They may have swept it up and not seen it.  Why would they even keep it, it’s not like we lost an iPad or a phone…”  And yet there was something in WQM’s gut that hoped — and yes, prayed — that the little Pascal would still somehow return to his distraught Princess.

Princess Sam never forgot Pascal, so much so, that on the following day’s trip into Disneyworld, WQM had to replace him with an 8″ plush sized version (using of course, Dad’s credit card — which may have only added to his increasing strands of white hair and stress lines).  Little Princess Sam (and Little-r Princess Jamie) were thrilled with the presence of their new green cuddly friend.  However, the one-inch toy was still not forgotten.  “Mommy!  The Mommy Pascal is crying because he lost the Baby Pascal!  Oh noooo!”  She groaned over and over again.  This lament was heard about 321 times over the next few days.

My Mommyology The Princess Rapunzel and Princess Sam

The Starstruck Princess Sam with Rapunzel and the "Mommy" Pascal

The weekend passed in a blur, and finally the cavalry was on their way back to the windy Kindgom of Chapel Hill.  Upon landing, WQM had the insatiable urge once again to ask the ground crew if anybody saw a green chameleon lying about.  She hesitated at first, and then asked Dad if they could get the bags while she tried.  He shrugged, probably also thinking only of the fact that he was late for work, but to his credit, he let her do it anyway.

The WQM approached the Big Blue Jet’s customer service desk tentatively and spoke to a pleasant-looking woman with “Cecily” on her name tag.  Maybe she’s a mother too, so she won’t think I’m THAT silly, WQM thought.  When her turn came up (after several passengers trying to cancel or re-book their flights), she spoke to Cecily with a sheepish smile.  “It may be silly, but last Friday night when we flew out, my daughter misplaced her miniature green chameleon, and I just had to check if maybe someone picked it up and kept it?”

Cecily’s eyes widened in amusement, and what WQM thought was a suppressed laugh, but she held up her finger and turned her back as she made some calls.  WQM thought it might also be the most embarrassing moment of her travel life — here she was, looking for a 1-inch green toy, of all things.  But, as most mothers know, they will do anything — ANYTHING — for their daughters… or at least they will try, if it will spare them any more unnecessary drama.

A few minutes later, Cecily put down the phone, turned back to WQM and said, “What a strange coincidence.  I was with Bart (one of the cleaners) this morning on our way to our stop here and he was just telling me about this tiny green frog-looking toy he found… just as you’re describing!  I’m sorry I took so long, I was trying to locate him.  He is on his way here with it as we speak!”

WQM was overjoyed.  Pascal had been found!  He was saved by the Blue Jet’s Knight-in-Shining-Black-Uniform named Bart (who actually resembles a jollier younger version of Kenny Rogers).  Bart came 10 minutes later carrying Pascal in the palm of his hand and WQM was so happy she couldn’t contain herself and gave him a grateful hug.  He told her he was amused when he had found Pascal (he collects lost things apparently) and he was making his way to the lost and found area where he was going to leave it in case someone did look for it, when he got the call to come back.  WQM couldn’t thank him enough.  A true hero indeed!

Nearby a flight attendant watched and listened to the entire scene, said to WQM, “You gotta love Southwest.  Saving one child at a time.”  WQM agreed, but then added, “I think it’s more like saving one MOTHER at a time!”

More than anything, WQM felt validated.  She had trusted her motherly instinct and listened to the persistent — yet probably irrational — part of her brain that said she wasn’t doing all she could if she didn’t at least check one last time (even if a part of her knew that Dad could be right).  It was also for her peace of mind, because she knew she was never going to hear the end of it from the Little Princess that does not forget these kinds of things.  Dad was pleasantly surprised and impressed.  “Good job Mom,” was all he could say with an approving nod.

But none was happier than the Little Princess Sam, “(Gasp!)  Oh PASCALYAY!!!!” she exclaimed with a smile one cannot even begin to describe  as she reached for her tiny pet.  All the way back home, she couldn’t wipe the grin of her face and spontaneously asked to celebrate by eating in Chic-Fil-A.  Now after all of that, how could WQM turn down such a request?!

The Moral(s) of the Story: 

A miniature chameleon is as important to a child as a smartphone or an iPad is to a businessman.  It is great that there are people (on Southwest) that recognize that!

There’s a saying that goes:  Mothers know best.  In this case, it’s really because she does! 😉


March 6, 2012
by mymommyology
10 Comments

My Mommyology Recommends: Oh Happy Day Birth Photography by Polly Fong

I am genuinely excited (ecstatic is more like it) and privileged to be one of the first few to share with you my best friend’s new endeavor.  World, meet Oh Happy Day Birth Photography by Polly Fong

Oh Happy Day Birth Photography By Polly Fong

Birth Photography is still not a common practice in the Philippines, mostly I think because of our country’s conservative and traditional heritage.  A lot of moms will be hesitant to have themselves “shot” at a very critical and intimate moment in their lives.  However on the flip side, we are also a country that embraces the “new”.  I think too that this new generation of moms (myself included) are more open to what the world has to offer them in terms of motherhood and all that comes with it.  Capturing their child’s birth story as it happens is one of those that I feel can soon become a trend in the country, and I am quite happy that Polly is a pioneer in this niche.

Even if I personally have not gotten the chance to have Polly as my own birth photographer, I will tell you why I can vouch for her, and why I would encourage you to, at the very least, explore the idea of having her present at your own child’s birth:

Polly is Personal.  I’ve known her all my life (we practically grew up together, and have been through all the highs, lows and in-betweens of each others’ lives, in spite of the physical distance and differing timezones.  We are godparents to each others’ children and our families are practically family)  and I can definitely say that once you meet or even talk to her, you will feel at ease instantly.  Polly has that kind of ease about her.  By the end of your first interaction with her, I wouldn’t be surprised if you instantly liked (or even loved) her, to the point that you wouldn’t feel like she was someone you hired, but more of a friend, present for one of the most important times in your family’s life.

Polly is Passionate.  Polly loves what she does — even if it means being on call 2 weeks before and after your due date, and rushing to a hospital in the wee hours of the morning, she absolutely loves it.  That to me is the first key ingredient to amazing output.  She puts her heart into each and every picture, and that does her wonders in photographing the right emotions.

Oh Happy Day Birth Photography by Polly Fong

The One Where Manong (Older Brother) Meets His Little Sister

Polly is Professional.  More than just professional, she is highly ethical.  She puts the needs and wishes of her clients first and above all else, without any hidden agenda whatsoever.  There is no “reading between the lines” with Polly; she tells you exactly what she means and sticks to it, and doesn’t take advantage of situations.

Polly also knows what it’s like to be in the birthing mother’s shoes — as she has been there herself.  As such she puts a lot of importance on being as unobtrusive as possible so that the family can enjoy this very special and intimate moment without a camera directly in their face.

Oh Happy Day Birth Photography by Polly Fong

The One with Dad and His Toothbrush

Polly is a Perfectionist.  She is as OC as OC can get (I tell you, my friends and I get along because we have this in common, yes?).  You can be sure that Polly will be as clean and as sanitized as every nurse and doctor in the delivery room.  More than that, she will plan and go over scenarios with you before the event to ensure that you are comfortable and at ease with her presence there.  As for the final output, she will not release an image to you that she isn’t 200% sold on herself. 

Polly is Perceptive.  This I feel is one of her best qualities as a person, and it definitely works to her advantage as a journalistic type of photographer.  I love that she is so insightful and attune to your feelings, and it shows in her work.  She is able to capture moments that you would not be able to enjoy at that particular point in time (for various reasons) and allows you to relive and relish every detail when all the excitement surrounding the birth have calmed.

Oh Happy Day Birth Photography by Polly Fong

This is my favorite one by far (so far!)

Polly’s photos tell a story; the kind that can really only be told once, and the kind that not many people can enjoy in the moment that it happens.  She does that for you — she captures and immortalizes the important little details so that you can one day share it with your child for him or her to appreciate it too.  As someone who knows Polly on a personal level, I can say in all honesty and sincerity that I have benefited tremendously from her presence in my life.  If you allow her to be be a part of yours (and your child’s) too, I’ve no doubt in my mind, that she will make a positive lasting impact as well.

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Polly’s Birth Photography packages start at P5,000, depending on the type of service you are interested in.  She can cover everything from the pre-delivery to the post-delivery of your child.  If you are interested in more information, please feel free to contact Polly Fong at +63(917)-539-8870 or email ohdbirths@gmail.com.  Or, let me know via this blog post or through an email and I will be more than happy to put you in touch with her.

Incidentally, the Painter’s Wife is also giving away one (1) Post-Delivery birth photography package worth P5,000.00!  Click here to join and to find out more!

March 1, 2012
by mymommyology
9 Comments

Kindermusik Projects Make for Favorite Toys

As I’ve said time and again, we are big fans of Kindermusik.  Apart from the program, it does have a lot to do with our Maestro Rebecca.  The girls LOVE her, and absolutely adore her.  Sam asks me everyday if she can go to Kindermusik and see Rebecca.  I learn so much from her as a parent, not just about how to be a better parent to my girls, but about music as well (Here’s a little trivia about me: Once upon a time, music was my favorite subject in school.  I took piano lessons too for several years and immersed myself in the lives of the composers.  I know that Schubert’s birthday is 2 days after mine.  Also, my grandparents would take me along to whatever Symphonic concerts were playing as a grew up.  I remember falling asleep thru a majority of them, but I cannot deny that it did help develop my musicality — or whatever little of it I have retained).

Sam has been going to Kindermusik for about two and a half years already (Jamie has been going all her life, haha!), and has recently moved up to the big kids class called, Imagine That!, where the parents stay downstairs for the first 30 minutes while the kids have their fun with Rebecca upstairs.  Sam is always rushing into the house and up the steps.  She doesn’t even look back when she shouts over her shoulder, “Bye Mom!  See you later!”.  The last 15 minutes, the adults are called back into the class, and Rebecca and the kids debrief us all.  She also gives  out the homework or the guide to look at in the take home materials.  Call me crazy, but I love it.  We are a family that makes full use of the home materials and activities, and I am glad I am learning it if only because I would like Jamie to make use of it too someday.

My Mommyology Jumping Rainbow Drum

In case it becomes famous, remember you saw it here first! 😉

Anyway, the first project was to help our kids make an instrument.  The kids could do whatever they wanted with it, and call it whatever they wanted to, no matter how factual or how silly it sounded, in relation to their lesson on timbre and how different sounds are made.  To make a long story short, Sam made what she calls a Jumping Rainbow Drum.  It was an empty can covered with rainbow-colored strips of paper and stickers, with pompoms and a vitamin can filled with safety pins as its internal percussion (She wanted to put pompoms, I don’t know…).  We used crepe paper so that she could hang it around her neck, and she claims that you play the instrument by jumping around.  Of all the 5 drums that we have here at home, that is her favorite one.  She even wanted to bring it to school for their “show and share” time.  That’s how proud she is of her creation.  She plays with it everyday too, and looks for it when she can’t seem to find it.

The second project was to make a boat.  Rebecca’s instructions were to allow the children to dictate the process, even if the outcome did not look like a boat.  What’s important was that they could explain it back to her and tell her how they were able to make it.

For this one, I decided to let Sam do this with her Daddy.  Of course they waited until the last day (Sam and I made her drum the day after the assignment was given… ah the difference between men and women!) to work on it.  My husband was having a little trouble with the assignment, because he kept looking for a set of instructions that they could follow, and all I could give him were Rebecca’s instructions.  In the end, I helped him guide her through the exercise (because all Sam said she needed was paint and she kept mixing the colors around.  And then she ended up slightly frustrated because she didn’t ask him for windows when she wanted some!).  My husband couldn’t wrap his head around the final product that it didn’t look like a boat.  Sam insisted on putting 4 wheels with the 4 windows she installed, but again she was so happy and so proud of what she had made.

My Mommyology Boat with Wheels

4 Windows, 4 Wheels, a sail a horn and other scraps of paper with paint.

Interestingly enough I related the process to Rebecca and she did say that it is normal and difficult for parents to hold back and let the kids do their own thing.  She said it’s good practice for when they’re older and need to make things or write their own essays.  Sometimes as a parent you itch to do it the “right” way and do it for them, when what’s important is that they try to figure it out themselves.  And they are prouder of the outcome and can speak about it, no matter what the end result is.  So it is a learning process for both the parent and the child.  Plus at this age, they can see  it in their heads and to them it makes sense.  As for the boat, again Sam was so proud of what she had made, and she could really appreciate that it was hers and not someone else’s project.  Plus, if you talk to her about her boat, she can tell you every single aspect of it.

If you ask Sam about her favorite toys, the Jumping Rainbow Drum and this silly little boat rank as one of the top two on her list.  I suppose a part of the reason is because she put so much more of herself into them, no matter how “imperfect” both turned out to be.  In her world, they are the best things in the world.

The two exercises were eye openers for me and it made me reflect on my parenting style over the girls.  When to help and guide and when to just let go and let things be can be tricky.  If you think about it, as they get older, it’s also about letting their personality shine through and not dictating  what I think is best for them.  Sometimes as parents, our good intentions to help overshadow and overpower our kids’ abilities to just do things themselves their way.  The end result may not always be our ideal output if we had a say in it, but it’s important to be conscious enough to step back and let them work through it on their own.  At the end of the day, for as long as they are proud of what they’ve accomplished, are happy with the end result and have learned something in the process, then that is really all that matters.

 

 

February 27, 2012
by mymommyology
10 Comments

The Changes in Playtime Dynamics

We had a few good days of nice weather last week, with the temperatures being in the upper 70s in the late afternoons.  It actually felt like a cool summer, instead of a warm winter!  Needless to say, I got Sam and Jamie out into the playgrounds to expend some pent-up energy, and I was a little surprised at how much the dynamics of our “play” have changed in the last couple of months.  It’s a little strange for me to say that I’m sure – seeing as how I am with them every single day.  I suppose I’ve gradually seen the changes develop on a daily and weekly basis; I guess it just really sunk in as to how big they are both getting (You can also attribute the lapse in attention span to age and what I call mommy mush brain!).  Both girls have just grown and developed tremendously over the last couple of months that I am really still in shock as to how time has literally flown by.

Jamie for instance will be a year old in three weeks’ time!  She is standing and cruising and reading (more on this in a later post!) and is well on her way to becoming a full-fledged toddler.  But didn’t I just give birth to her yesterday? (I still feel the pregnancy belly after all…).  In the past when we’d go to playgrounds, I would simply wear her in her sling and we’d just follow her sister around.  Sometimes even, she’d be in the stroller and protest about getting left behind as I chased after her Ate.  This last week however she seemed to be telling me she’s had enough of the passive observer role, and wanted out and up on the equipment.  She was grunting, babbling and pointing to everything she wanted to try – swings, slides, steps and mulch included.  She was also very observant of the animals, whether they were dogs (and I quote:  “Dag! Dag! Da-hg! wowowowowowow….”) or squirrels and birds, she was alert to their presence and made sure we knew they were there.

And then there is Sam.  Oh!  Such a vivid imagination.  The stories and tales have gotten more elaborate and specific, but all in all still fun.  I’m amazed at how she can mix up and remember so many things from the various sources and stimuli she’s exposed to.  She’s integrated things that she’s seen on TV with adventures from trips we’ve taken, or from her Kindermusik classes and other extra-curricular activities.  There are even bits and pieces which I can only imagine come directly from the adventures she and her friends make up.  Somehow they all come together and make sense in that tiny super active brain of hers, and it’s fun to listen to and be a part of.  You never know what you’re going to get.

Lately she has repeatedly enjoyed being a pirate on a pirate ship.  Every Sunday morning while I am getting my much-needed “sleep in” time, she and her dad turn the playroom into an imaginary pirate ship that sails to different places all over the world.  Normally when we’re on a playground, she is just happy to play with the other kids and go up and down slides and swings, or will take it a step further and pretend we’re ordering at a restaurant.  This time though, she walked (err, ran) onto the equipment and claimed the bridge as her pirate ship.  Of course, Jamie and I had to get on it too so that we wouldn’t be left behind.  Mind you, we weren’t just ordinary pirates – we were in SQUIRREL costumes (?!).  So we’d pretend to head over to Elie’s house, the zoo, to Manila, and get off and change costumes (I think I became a zebra, and she was an iguana.  I forget Jamie’s costume…) and pick up groceries, or bread, or perform some sort of activity.  That afternoon we had chanced upon Sesame Street for Big Bird’s birthday party.  Goodness!  My head was spinning trying to keep up with the chatter and where I thought she’d gotten all those different ideas.  None were from the same source.

My Mommyology Playground Pirate Ship

Who would have guessed, that all of this would have a pirate ship, a trip to the moon, a bus stop and a circus?!

Afterwards, Sam decided to park the pirate ship and ride the swing to the moon (Now this game, I know she plays a lot with Elie, and they are always on their way to the moon).  I decided to encourage this thought process further and asked her a series of questions.  It led to this scenario — that we’d go to the moon, and ride the clouds that are shaped like a horse and a duck and say hi to the airplanes and the helicopters.  Or we would be airplanes ourselves and fly past them all.  She even stuck out her arms (At the Little Gym when they balance, they’re taught to stick their arms straight out and it’s called “airplane arms”) and tiptoed around flying.  Whee!

At some point, the trip to the moon got a little tiring and when I sat down on the bench in the playground, Sam got the idea that I was at the bus stop, waiting for the red bus to take us to the airport.  So she sat beside Jamie and myself and waited for our buses (we each had to pick a color) to come and get us.  I think we were even headed to Boracay and the Circus at different points in time.  She even went as far as turning the tunnel on the playground structure into the bus, and she would peep thru the holes in the tunnel as if they were the windows, asking for tickets and payments to get on the bus.  I have to tell you, of all the times that we had been on that playground, I’d never thought to do that.  When she got off the bus, she said she was in a dress and held up her hand in a fist to show me that she had a “basket of goodies” and that she was going to skip home, or maybe, if it doesn’t get dark too soon (I say this phrase to her a lot), then we’d go to Target and shop for some things.

It takes a lot of energy to keep up with it I tell you.  I realized how much my imagination is limited to the concrete things that I see are in front of me, if I do have any imagination at all!  It’s funny how Sam can mix up her actual toys too and have them talk to each other, too.  Elmo for instance, will visit her Princess Disney castle because he needs to sleep on the royal bed. Strawberry Shortcake and her friends will meet Lalaloopsy’s figurines for some forward rolling (because she can bend them forward to stand on their heads) and picnic fun.  And sometimes she just carries the two or three pieces of figurines and has them bouncing up and down the table with absolutely nothing else.

I used to think that a lot of props were necessary for such imaginative play and story-telling; but now I realize that all kids Sam’s age really need is their active brain.  She is happy to be anywhere and play anywhere; because in her own little world, she is exactly where she wants to be.

 

February 24, 2012
by mymommyology
1 Comment

How to Raise Children to Lose with Dignity

My Mommyology Losing with Dignity

Photo Credit: Creative Commons

When we play games with our kids, as parents it’s only natural that we let them win.  It’s our role, and everyone’s happy.  But then when you think about it, if they’re always winning, then how or when do they learn how to lose, and lose with dignity?

If you’re curious for more, hop on over to Green Eggs and Moms and read the full article (also officially known as my first full guest post!).

As I mentioned in the previous post (which is also incidentally, our first official guest post by none other than Anne of GE&M’s herself!), Anne and I have become blogging mom friends since we met online a couple of weeks ago.  She has taught me a lot and was kind enough to extend the offer to write on her blog.  Do browse around her site as I’m sure there are a lot of cool tips and bits of trivia that you can all learn from as well!  Thank you again Anne! 🙂

 

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