My Mommyology

September 3, 2014
by mymommyology
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Find Your Center at the Discover Your Core Weekend

Before I left Manila, I invested in a little me-time for myself and attended The One Core’s Discover Your Core Weekend (DYC).

It was Coach Pia’s recommendation that I do this. She was confident it would help me with this big transition we’ve made. And I have to say, it was a good idea. No — it was a great idea.

The Eugenio Lopez Center is a very peaceful place!

The Discover Your Core Weekend runs every 3rd weekend of the month at the Eugenio Lopez Center in Antipolo. The package includes food and overnight accommodations, although I chose not to stay overnight. My husband had already left for LA and I was alone with the girls. I couldn’t bring myself to also leave them overnight (even if it was just for one night), when they’ve never slept a night of their lives without me before. Thankfully The One Core was (is) very flexible and they accommodated me as a live-out guest for the weekend. Admittedly from where I lived, it was a trek, but I understood it to be my choice and I was okay with that. Again, it was totally worth it.

First I will say that it’s not one of those overly emotional retreats that leave you on a high (only to come crashing down into reality a few weeks later). I found everything about DYC to be down-to-earth and very realistic.

Coach Pia equips you with tools and a framework when making decisions big or small. It’s all promptly applied through her examples and through the sharing of the participants. In my weekend we were only 5 (there’s a max of 10 people per weekend), so we were able to share in-depth. And I liked everyone’s openness – which is essentially the first step: to be open to the process.

Photo Credit: The One Core

That’s one thing Coach Pia emphasizes: we each have our own process. We must respect that we go at our own pace. It may take some longer than others to reach a decision that they’re finally comfortable with, but in the end… it’s their process! And the only way is through.

Coach Pia still started and ended the 1.5 days around her five circles.

The Five “Bubbles” of Life, from the ONE CORE and Coach Pia Nazareno.

You’ve seen this many times in some of my past posts and she keeps going back to that. The ultimate goal is to make sure that each one is inflated equally. In DYC, the framework helps you prioritize and focus on inflating one bubble at a time.

My biggest take away from DYC was about staying true to your authentic self. How do you know that’s it? Decisions should be made freely, and not out of pride and/or fear.

Coach Pia’s tip: Look for a time in your life when you had zero self-doubt. It’s a memory and a time before the onset of adulthood. Find yourself in that mind frame before taking on a big decision.

It’s not easy! In hindsight, I realize some of the “not-so-good” decisions I’ve made were done out of pride or fear. The yaya situation for instance — no wonder I couldn’t find good help! But when the decision is made freely, then everything else will flow.

It doesn’t mean though that they’re always going to be decisions you’re comfortable with. Sometimes they’re also not the most accepted or the most popular decisions. And this is seen best when you’re married and when you have kids. As a mom, you do things that are better for them and for the family over those that you want for yourself. I can’t tell you how many of these I feel I’ve made in the last few years (days!). Disciplining them is one example. Is there any parent who enjoys being the bad cop? We do it though because we know it’s best for them, even if it’s tough on us.

I will say that after the DYC, there’s less heaviness and doubt hanging over my head after I make decisions. I’m clearer about why I make them, and I’m more confident too. And therefore I feel lighter — and don’t need to apologize for them (Coach Pia did say I apologize too much for who I am and what I do or don’t do — which shouldn’t be the case). I still need to practice though to make the framework second nature, but isn’t that what life is all about — a constant work-in-progress?

Recently the girls have been addicted to Rise of the Guardians. And because of the movie, Sam keeps asking us what our “center” is. It’s a good reminder too – to constantly ground myself in what makes me authentic and true. After all, being a better self is always the best place to start. 🙂

Thank you, Coach Pia! I am truly a better person because of you! Photo credit: The One Core

***

Coach Pia is currently helping out couples in the latest Reality TV Series called #IDo. Catch her and the rest of the I Do cast and crew onSaturdays after MMK – 9:30 pm, and on Sundays after Rated K – 8:45 pm.

For more information about The One Core’s programs and seminars, visit their website or their Facebook Page.

August 29, 2014
by mymommyology
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Meals in Manila

It’s a well-known fact that Filipinos love to eat. It’s why we have so many restaurants and gastro-pubs popping up in different areas around the metro. And really, no matter what type of cuisine or dish, it’s not hard to find some really good restaurants to choose from.

The weeks leading up to our move, I stopped cooking. I truly had no time and energy to think about what we’d eat. Miraculously the girls wouldn’t run out of food (thanks to everyone who was feeding us and my mom’s trusted helper for just bringing food over). As for me, I had one meeting after another, and they were usually held with food at the center. Many knew I was leaving, and so the question always was, “What food will you miss when you leave Manila? Let’s have our meeting or get-together there.”

I’ve come up with a list of my favorite restos from Manila. They’re places I would recommend to people visiting and staying for a while, and to those like us who’d leave and not come back for quite some time. They’re definitely the places I’d want to eat when we go back for a visit…

1. Cibo – Cibo has and will always be a favorite staple. I’m sure many will agree, it’s the no-brainer default I have. It’s also because the girls love it and ask for it. Jamie has been my date there since she was 9 months old!

Taken circa 2010. And 4 years later, we still order the same thing!

There’s no struggle to eat when they know we’re going there. They’re usual orders are the Spinaci Zola, Penne Al Telefono, and a fresh fruit shake. I’d eat the Insalata di Mare (Seafood Salad) and lately, because I was trying to get Sam to eat vegetables, we started ordering the Pomodoro Bruschette. Cibo is easy to find — it’s been in the country for over 17 years and is present in many malls.

Website: Cibo.Ph, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter: CiboPH

2. Wildflour – another instant favorite, and not it’s not because of their Cronuts. Wildflour has some pretty good Mushroom Salad (yes, salad again!). The names of their dishes escape me, but their Foie Gras spread is good as well as their whole chicken dish and steak with rice. I wish I took pictures! For sandwiches, their Croque Madame is pretty decent too. Oh and so is their coffee! It’s always so packed, I was so glad I got to eat there for lunch before we left.

Facebook: Wildflour Cafe + Bakery FortBonifacio

3. Keizo – This was the good Japanese restaurant closest to where we lived, and it was a frequent go to for our Japanese fix. Sam learned to love the Chicken Teriyaki here and Jamie would concede to eating Miso Soup and Gyoza. My husband and I would always get their Salmon Sashimi, Spicy Tuna and Mixed Tempura. The nice part about it was that whether we’d eat it at home or eat it there, we would always call first and say we were coming in 15 minutes. Hence, there was always a zero wait-time.

4. Il Ponticello – The nice thing about Il Ponti is that there’s always something new going on. And I love Italian food, so it’s always on my list of places to eat or have meetings. They have the affordable and filling lunch sets. Now they’ve added the Porchetta, and most recently the Flat Iron Steak. They’re becoming such popular dishes that it’s best to call and pre-order before you go. Then when I went with the #SoMoms the other week, we got to try the Vongole pasta!

Yummy food, wonderful company… who could ask for more? I miss you SoMoms!

Of course I rave about the food, but the drinks are pretty great too! Every Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights, a DJ plays. And we enjoy it so much we don’t know how much we drink really. 😉 Nonetheless it’s always ALWAYS, a good time.

Facebook: Il Ponticello Instagram: @newilponticello

5. Sentro 1771 – Sentro and the 1771 group of restaurants is always a classic favorite. They’ve been in the restaurant business for 25 years, which means they’re actually doing something right. My last few meetings and social gatherings were in their newest branch, Capitol Commons. The interiors are bright and spacious, it’s very well done. And the second floor has a lot of space for group functions (with a minimum consumable amount).

Dessert Photo Credit: Cristina Cinco

Favorites and must haves (apart from their famous Corned Beef Sinigang which is what the girls eat all the time!): Kesong Puti Salad, Macau Chorizo and Tidbits, Catfish Sentro Style, and the Seafood Bagoong Rice. For dessert, DEFINITELY the Coffee Pie and their version of a local cheesecake, the KesoFlan. (I am drooling just thinking about these dishes!)

Website: Sentro 1771 Facebook: Sentro 1771 Twitter: @Sentro1771

6. Juju – I discovered this because it was a favorite of the Two Tots moms, and then I became addicted myself! Half salads are quite filling, and you can have them for lunch and dinner. My favorites are their Roast Pumpkin, Crispy Catfish, the Inasal Salad, and the Chicken Caesar. How can you go wrong? It’s a fresh salad (can you tell I’m a salad person?!)! Also very good for digestion.

I’ve also tried their juices, and my favorite is the Alkazest. It’s got grapefruit, pineapple and Coconut water.

Website: JujuEats.com, Facebook: Juju Eats

7. Mamou – I have to admit I don’t eat in Mamou very often, but we do on special occasions. And we go for their steak.

Left: Mamou Steak! Right: Truffle Pasta

The weekend before I left, my family and I enjoyed a meal at their Rockwell branch. They’d just turned three years (and their Serendra branch, 7). They asked us if we were celebrating anything and my mom said a despedida. So they gave us this!

How sweet! (Literally). Thank you Mamou!

Facebook: Mamou Serendra

Now after writing this, I’m hungry. Hungry for all of my favorite Manila eats! At least I have a list to look back on when we do visit. Or who knows, there may be new restaurants to add-on.

What are your recommendations that we add to this list? 🙂

August 26, 2014
by mymommyology
3 Comments

“Mama I’m Proudly Filipino!”

While we’re still in the month of August… 😉

August in Manila is commonly known as Buwan ng Wika. It’s the month we Filipinos pay tribute to our native language and formally celebrate the culture and heritage of our country — at least in the school setting.

Sam’s school had it as an inherent part of their curriculum since Kinder. And it was only up until last summer when she really began to like and love the little things that were taught to her. And it was something she wanted to “bring” with us as we moved back to the states. So I had to figure out how.

Speaking the Language. Last summer Sam attended Filipino classes at the Learning Library. They had just opened a center near us in Makati and we were looking for something for Sam to do in the morning while Jamie was in summer school. Thankfully, Sam loves learning and considers it an adventure. So there was no struggle in getting her to complete the Basic Filipino sessions held over the course of a month.

According to founder Vanie (who once upon a time interviewed me for a corporate post!), the children are assessed as to their comfort-level with using Filipino. Sometimes even when it’s taught in school, it’s not reinforced as much at home because it’s not used as much as it used to be. That’s why the goal of their Basic Filipino classes is to simply get the kids used to using common Filipino words and define them properly. The teachers accept responses in English but try to teach the kids still in Filipino by continuously using it during the class. The class is set up to start with a story, and it incorporates Filipino songs as well (music as we know is a great way to teach kids!). Sometimes, there are guessing games of matching the Filipino word with its matching picture. After which, the kids do their individual work that is based on their learning levels, still on the same topic.

At the end of 12 sessions, The Learning Library had Sam more confident in using specific words and phrases in her everyday sentences. I was quite pleased. She was bringing home books in Filipino too that we would read to try to learn more. In fact I really think it helped her in the few weeks that she was at school, because she would always come home with some recognition from her 1st grade teacher.

Sam got a badge for “best in reading”. Weee!

Most importantly though, we still continue to speak the language at home. Sometimes I purposely point out what specific items are in the three languages she knows (English, Filipino and Spanish), and we teach Jamie as well. Sometimes it’s a natural occurrence. I’ll say something in Filipino to her and help her pick up the context clues so she can give me a practical response. And we really wouldn’t have been able to jump-start this interest without the help of Learning Library.

Don’t forget to like them on Facebook: The Learning Library

Reading the Books. Before moving back to Manila, I started off Sam with some simple Filipino books. My friend Frances works at Tahanan Books, and happily gives the girls some of the new books for them to review. The books that we have are so wonderfully drawn! And Sam even has the Bugtong Bugtong books signed by the author himself. Jamie loves their Ay Naku! that even if we got it for Ate, she’s the one that pulls it out and asks to read it before bedtime.

Such a good first book to learn with!

One of their more recent titles is an interesting take on Filipino ghosts and folklore.

Get a copy! I’d love to hear what you think.

From the standpoint of someone who’s never heard of any of these ghoulish creatures before (ie Sam), she actually thought it was amusing. But the minute she talked to the older generation about it and mentioned the word Tikbalang for instance, she’d get gasps and shocked stares, as if she said something wrong. My sister rationalized it’s because we were all taught about them in such a scary way (because really the history of Filipino folklore creatures is very dark), that seeing it in a child-friendly format will throw anyone off. But at the very least, there’s a new way of learning about them in their purity, without having to instill the fear in them first. Quite an interesting point of view, but most probably true. After all, we brought the book along with us (along with other Filipino books) and occasionally inject it into our story time moments. But I will admit I’m only brave enough to read it when the sun is up. 😉

Don’t forget to like them on Facebook: Tahanan Books

Wearing the Clothes. Every year for school, the girls have to come in some traditional Filipiniana costume.

And Sam would wear this more often, even to school here if she could. I find though that the material and fabric may not hold up in a boisterous playground around active kids. Plus, the safety pins I need to attach worry me. The thing is, before Anthill and Mothering Earthlings came along, these Kultura finds seemed to be the only available options!

I first learned about Anthill Fabrics through Rone of Mothering Earthlings. She and Anya (of Anthill) had a tie-up for Tayum and La Paz reversible skirts.

Photo Credit: Mothering Earthlings

I learned more about Anya and the social enterprise behind Anthill when I met her for a separate project. I must say, I love everything about Anthill. It’s a modern take on woven indigenous fabrics, and it’s all for a worthwhile cause. When I visited their pop-up a few weeks ago, I bought some unique fashion pieces as gifts for family here. And of course, I got a little something for myself too! 😉 After all, who says only the kids need to wear Philippine-made clothes?

Finds at the Anthill pop-up (Including THE Tita K!).

You can also find Anthill on Facebook: Anthill Fabric Gallery

Loving everything Filipino-made. It’s not hard really — to love everything that’s made in the Philippines by Filipinos. A lot of the items are of good quality. And the girls see it first hand because of Two Tots. At Two Tots, we source Filipino materials (like solid Philippine Mahogany wood, and rattan crates) for all our furniture and accessories. Our hand painted range of items are done by local artists. It may not look indigenous, but they’re all built and made to last. That’s why we made sure to bring all our Two Tots furniture pieces here to our new home. 🙂

At Two Tots we say, Mom-designed, Child-approved!

Of course, Two Tots is also on Facebook: Two Tots Home Accessories Inc.

Sam takes great pride in being a Filipino. She talks and acts like a little American kid (with her unmistakable American accent), but she loves that other side to her that she can share with all her other friends. A lot of her new friends are multicultural too . So we continue these little lessons informally to enriches her contribution to the class. More importantly, it instills a deeper appreciation for her heritage and our roots. I hope this helps ground her no matter where life takes us.

August 24, 2014
by mymommyology
7 Comments

A Fresh Start

Who could’ve guessed, that this big “life changing move” would take a toll on my gadgets.

First it was my iPhone. Two weeks before our actual date of departure, I dropped it face down on the cement floor of our parking garage. I was getting Jamie out of the car that bright and early that morning and didn’t bother storing my iPhone in my pocket before doing so. This was the nth fall in the last four years, and probably all it could take.. The inside of it cracked and the blue liquid leaked all over.

It looked something like this…

I was in a bit of a dilemma then, knowing that I was leaving in a couple of weeks (When it happened, I didn’t know the exact date), and I knew that my husband had an iPhone waiting for me here with my new line. So it was quite the decision: do I get a new iPhone in Manila or not? According to the Apple Care person I approached in Manila, unless I had backed up or used iCloud, then there was no guarantee they could get the data on my phone back.

By the time Powerplant Mall closed that same evening, I was holding this:

Hello there new iPhone 5S.

I decided to keep my Manila line, and with the loyalty scheme came a low-monthly cash out for a 16GB iPhone. It was a down-grade from my 32GB memory, but I figured it would do. Better than nothing right? Fortunately, I had somehow synced the phone to the Mac and to iCloud and so I was able to retrieve contacts, photos and purchased Apps. Whew!

It was only then when I realized that I really couldn’t live without an iPhone, even if it was just for a few weeks. Amazing how Apple has penetrated our lives, no? I couldn’t even settle for a different smart phone, because all of my back up systems were linked to some Mac product. The saying still holds true: once on a Mac, you can’t go back.

Then the day after we arrive in our new home, my Macbook Pro decides to crash. Crash. CRASH!

These blue vertical lines gave me a heart attack.

Never in my life did I think that possible. I was filling out some forms on the web when the screen flickered and died. After that, I couldn’t open it again. My Apple Care had expired at this point too (just my luck ey?), and so I had to pay tech support to try and fix it on the phone. After two hours, they concluded that it wasn’t a software issue, but a hardware one. So the next day I trekked on over to the nearest Apple store, and the Genius tells me it’s my video card that crashed. It was of course attached to the computer’s logic board, so they needed to send it back to the main repair center.

In my jet lagged state, we assessed the situation: Is it better to buy a new Mac altogether or to try and salvage this one? The thing was that either way, he wouldn’t be able to guarantee if they could save all or any of my current data. He said he hoped I was one of those people who backed up (After what happened to my iPhone, I did back-up, but it had been a few weeks. Can you blame me, I was packing up the house!). In the end I decided it was cheaper to have this one fixed than get a new one. Besides, I really didn’t have a new Mac in my budget to begin with!

I’ve been a week without a computer. And I only got it back today. Guess what — it’s a clean slate.

Nothing. Was. Saved.

And there it was. A totally ‘new’ computer.

I had some files that I was working on, but they’re all gone. Even the most recent presentations for some of my clients: gone. The girls’ most recent pictures and our album I was preparing to print from the Disney Cruise: gone. For the last week I’d been preparing myself for this possibility. And given what had happened to my iPhone a few weeks earlier, I figured that it was the universe conspiring to send me a message.

Change isn’t one of my strong suits. Yet in the last six years, I’ve made three big moves and had two kids. I realized that while I was definitely excited, there was always a part of me that was nervous or worried about what was to come. I don’t like not knowing exactly what to expect — which is in fact impossible.

An implosion always happens and I think this time, subconsciously it released itself upon my phone and Mac. They were after all, the two items I couldn’t live without (next to my kids of course). In the weeks leading up to our departure, they were under the most duress. My Mac and my iPhone contain everything: lists, contacts, notes, reminders, to do’s… everything I needed, and everything to drive me crazy and up the wall.

For once in my life, I felt lighter. Instead of hanging on to the past and its data, I just… let it go (literally)! Instead of trying to pre-determine the where and what and how, I’m left with just going with the flow and taking things as they come one day at a time. Figuratively and literally speaking, the past after all, will always be there (thank GOD for back-ups), and they are memories of good times and good experiences, but they need not all be carried through into the present and the near future. And knowing this I know that as I move forward, there’s less anxiety and more excitement.

That’s the nice thing about a clean slate right? It’s a fresh start. You get to do everything for the first time — again.

August 12, 2014
by mymommyology
11 Comments

A Father’s Love

The last month and a half have been crazy busy, to say the least! And here’s why:

Boxes and boxes and boxes… again!

As some of you may already know (or may have guessed), we’re moving. Again! It hasn’t even been two years since we set foot in Manila once again, and yes, here we are, uprooting once more.

Many people ask why. In fact almost everyone knew we came home because my husband wanted to be close to family. So why the big move only after 22 months into our supposedly “home for good move”?

Well. It really boils down to Jamie.

Remember I mentioned Jamie’s skin allergies? Over the course of 20 months, we’ve come to prove that the cause was the ever-humid and unpredictable weather and highly polluted environment of Manila. As the months passed, her allergies went from bad to worse. It got to the point where I wasn’t getting any rest because I’d wake up to keep her from scratching and re-apply all kinds of topical steroids and lotions on her. The next morning, it was always a game of “where did this blood come from?” or “what will Jamie’s mood be today?” knowing that she didn’t get a good night’s rest.

(I feel like) I’ve tried everything, including non-traditional ways that worked for other moms. All the solutions would provide temporarily relief, but after a while Jamie would desensitize and everything would flare up again. Thank God for our constants, Aquasana and Mustela’s Stelatopia; for without them I fear it would be worse.

We’d gotten to that point where I felt I was raising a drug addict, because the allergists had told me to give my then two-year old 10mL of antihisthamine daily, everyday, for 3 months straight (on top of the topical ointments). For her tiny body, it was too much. It affected Jamie’s demeanor and behavior. She was always cranky and sleepy and totally uncomfortable.

We went to several pediatric dermatologists and allergists, who all said that she would “eventually outgrow it (or as they say “control it).” And I believed them, having gone through it myself for half my life. It became my default solution too.

But my husband wouldn’t — couldn’t — stand for it. He just couldn’t bear to see his baby girl in that state all the time. And he insisted that there should be a better solution than just waiting for her to adapt.

We had proven that it wasn’t food, or anything in our laundry, or even the usual culprits like stuffed toys (hence, Bunny was allowed to stay). In fact, during our trips to Anvaya, Boracay and Bohol, a dip in the salt water would instantly clear Jamie’s skin up.

The clincher was when we went on our family vacation and Jamie’s eczema cleared up the day after we arrived. It stayed clear up until the day we flew home. I came home with full tubes of medicine and lotion because I used them 5x less than I’d normally use them when in Manila.

And so in a matter of months — weeks — from what was initially “just speculation”, became reality. My husband told his employer that he had to re-consider opportunities in the US, because he wanted Jamie to have a better quality of life. And it was a big thing since he was the one who wanted to move us home, and because he was (is) doing so well career-wise too.

As luck or fate or a combination of both would have it, his company decided to keep him to handle the operations in North America. And just like that, the contract was signed and I was back in the motions of packing up.

Many people say it was a very bold thing to do – uproot the whole family when we’re just starting to settle in and get our bearings (They say it takes 2 years to finally feel “okay” after a big move with kids — and it’s true I was JUST getting that feeling!). Not many would really make that huge a move. But as my husband points out – it was her health. And Jamie in her current state was no way to live.

And that’s really what struck me when I saw this slide during our post-Father’s day #BetterMe session with Coach Pia at Seda Hotel (in BGC).

Thank you Jen for making these wonderful pinboards from our session!

My language of love is words. And I’m very good at expressing myself and how I feel. My husband is quite the opposite. But you can see it in his actions. Like this big move of ours. Thankfully the career aspect of it worked in our favor, but if it didn’t, it wouldn’t have stopped him from exploring it and making it happen. And after all, that’s what father’s are good at — making things happen.

Somehow the girls know that’s how he loves them. Jamie clearly knows and is looking forward to “making the owies go away.” And Sam — she understood. In one of her emotional moments she caught me by surprise when she said, “I’m sad we’re moving but I know it’s better for Jamie. So that’s why.” (Of course I cried). Somehow she knew that we’d all make that kind of sacrifice for her if she needed it most, and that no matter what, we put our family’s needs first. Something they also learned from her dad.

Photo Credit: Jen of @next9 and Attached at the Hip.

A very belated Father’s Day — but also a Happy Anniversary! — to my husband, the Daddy of our family. We can’t wait to start this new adventure with you. 🙂

🙂

See you in a few. 😉

A big thank you as well to The One Core, Coach Pia, and Seda Hotels, our sponsors for this #BetterMe session! Use the hashtag #betterme and #somoms on Instagram and Facebook to discover and gain insights on the topics we’ve learned thus far about becoming the best versions of ourselves. I sincerely hope that you gain something from them too!