My Mommyology

Learning from Motherhood.

May 31, 2013
by mymommyology
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Flying Forward in Our Feiyue Shoes

My brother walked into the apartment one time and his shoes caught my eye.  They were red (#Raisedeyebrow).  I’d never seen him in red shoes before — and I’d never thought that any of us siblings would publicly wear something so… red.  But they looked nice.  Hey, I’m a mom.  Red shoes to me = Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.

I didn’t get the brand name, it sort of “flew by me” (pun intended) when he said it, but he did say they were one of his favorite pairs and he loved wearing them.  He also said he had another two pairs which he uses for Capoiera training.  My brother is part of the local group that trains in this sport, where apparently also most of them wear these shoes for training or public demos.  Kinda cool.

I now know that the brand of rubber shoes he’s been wearing are the well-loved, fashionably forward Feiyues.  And I only realized it when Jaycee Dee, the distributor of Feiyue in the Philippines invited the SoMoms over to their shop at Sekai center in Greenhills, and I saw my brother’s shoes on display.

Red shoes! :)  The blue are cute too.

Red shoes! 🙂 The blue are cute too.

I actually tried them on, thinking that maybe I’d get myself the same pair and surprise him with it (whether he’d be annoyed or not, that was part of the fun!  heehee).  The thing was, everyone in the store, quieted down when I asked for their opinion and tried to change the topic.  So I took that as a sign and slowly put the nice pair of red shoes back.

While the color may not have been for me, Feiyue actually is a brand for everyone.  Pronounced as “Fêi-yué” (which literally means “Flying Forward”), it was first produced and worn in Shanghai in the 1920s by martial artists, athletes, and just about anyone who could walk.  It’s very lightweight, comfortable, and easygoing.  I should know, because I always have trouble finding really good shoes and I didn’t want to take these off.

Fly forward into the 20th century, a group of French sneaker enthusiasts breathed new life into the brand.  Since then, they’ve kept themselves updated with the latest trends in urban art, music and travel.  They’re very risque (Is that the term?), and expressive in their artistic culture.  They’re not afraid to try experiment in other media too.   These are incorporated in some shape or form of it into the design of the shoes.  No wonder my brother has three of them.

These are just some of the many collaborations Feiyue has done over the years.

These are just some of the many collaborations Feiyue has done over the years.

I ended up with a classic white pair for myself, similar to the ones Tin of Manila Fashion Observer got (except her feet look much daintier in them!) and the lower-cut version of Janice of Mommy Mundo.  They are very comfy, and nowadays I wear them everywhere.  I love white rubber shoes, but I’m not very good at keeping them clean.  So I make a special effort for this pair (although they are easy to spot clean and dry NOT under the sun!).  My Feiyue pair is super comfortable, I didn’t hesitate to get a pair for Sam.  I normally wouldn’t trust her with white, but it’s a school requirement to have “predominantly simple” white rubber shoes for P.E. class.  Feiyue is perfect for her picky feet.  I didn’t get to do annoy my brother with a  “matchy-matchy” red pair, but Sam was thrilled to have shoes that looked like mine. 😉

Taken from my Instagram. :)

Taken from my Instagram. 🙂

As for Jamie — well I was actually ready to buy her a pair too because.   Sam is actually very sweet because when she has something new she always asks, “what about for Jamie mom?”   Besides, Jamie is my shoe girl.  She will happily wear new pairs around the house just for fun.   Unfortunately they didn’t have her size just yet, so we are going back for them when I get the call. 😉   I got quite excited though because Jaycee told us to watch out for their Fall collection coming soon, with some super cute toddler sized shoes!  Maybe Jamie can pull of the red ones like her Ninong, no? 😉

Part of the New Collection to hit stores soon!

Part of the New Collection to hit stores soon!

Thank you Feiyue Philippines for having the SoMoms and Sokids over to shoe-shop (indeed a favorite pastime).

Apart from the Sekai building in Greenhills, Feiyue is available on Zalora and also in the Rustan’s Department stores.  Follow Feiyue Philippines on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to get the latest updates and styles!

May 30, 2013
by mymommyology
17 Comments

“I’m An Eldest Child Too”

Lately Jamie has been getting on Sam’s nerves.  A LOT.  I’m told a daily dispute of siblings is normal, so I don’t think much of it; except of course I’m always called to mediate and one or both end up in tears.  There is generally a quick talk on sharing, talking turns and being nice that follows.

Sam gets it.  Of course she does; she’s 4 and can’t wait to be 5, and she understands the value of doing all those things. And thanks to great birth order advice from Life Coach Pia Acevedo-Nazareno, I am often able to get Sam on my side when it comes to Jamie.  It helps a lot!

Jamie is a (slightly) different story.  There are instances when she doesn’t want to share, and she shrieks when Sam attempts to get it from her (particularly when Sam is successful, which I’d say is 95% of the time).  I’ve heard her teacher only talk about Jamie that way in school when it comes to sharing Bunny.   Maybe when it comes to her beloved Ate, it’s different a different story altogether?

There have also been many instances when Sam gives Jamie a turn, but Jamie doesn’t reciprocate.  And of course, there’s the classic situation when Jamie wants EXACTLY what Sam is holding and won’t stop until she gets it.  You’d think, in a house that’s already overrun by toys and books, there would be more than enough for them to play with.

I often tell Sam when she comes running to me in tears that Jamie is learning and we have to teach her by example.  It’s not always easy, I recognize that (and that she is still only four!).  Kudos to her though; she is patient and continues to teach her sister.  It still does fall on deaf ears more often than not.

Sometimes I see Sam’s frustration comes from the fact that other people don’t bother to determine what’s fair to her.  They make her concede to Jamie regardless.  It’s also happened that she gets “blamed” for Jamie’s crying without hearing her side of the story.

It's easy to mistake this photo with Jamie as the victim, when it really didn't happen that way!

It’s easy to mistake this photo with Jamie as the victim, when it’s not really the case!

As a parent I sympathize with her, although I can (somehow) understand why it’s easy to make that mistake.  It’s a human truth to assume that the younger one should get cut a little bit more slack, and the older one should know better and give in.  We’ve seen it played out on sitcom series countless times.  I’m quite sure we’ve been told that at least once in our lives.  I’ve personally heard it many times!

One day, I was working in our home office and I could overhear the squabbles going on a few feet away.  The yayas were there, so I expected them to mediate.  Not too long after, I found Sam beside me defeated and holding back tears.   One of the yayas allegedly “sided” with Jamie repeatedly and took whatever toy from Sam to give to her sister.  She was told that as the Ate, she should “know better” anyway (Boy did my maids get it from me that day!).

Instead of blurting out the usual, “Jamie’s not sharing mom!”  She said to me, “I don’t want to be the Ate anymore mom, it’s sooo HARD!”  And the poor thing collapsed into my arms sobbing.

At first I was at a loss for words.  The usual sympathetic, “I’m sorry it happened” didn’t feel like it would cut it.  I couldn’t say, “Jamie’s still young and she’s just learning“, because it also wasn’t all Jamie’s fault, and Sam had already protested her way around it many times.  I couldn’t storm in and investigate just then because I had a weeping Sam on my chest and she wouldn’t stop.

We sat there for a while and I let her cry.  Then at some point, it just kind of…flowed.  “It IS hard being the Ate, isn’t it?”   Her crying had softened to a whimper as she looked up at me quite surprised.  She’d never heard these lines before.  “Sometimes even if it should be our turn we don’t always get what we want.  It’s not fair huh?”  And then she started nodding.

“How do you know mom?”  She asked.

Because Mommy is an Ate too.”  And her eyes widened.  Then she stopped crying.

I love my Ate! Photo by Shiela Catilo

I love my Ate!   Photo by Shiela Catilo

It was then when I realized I’d never talked to Sam about my own birth order.  The reason it was so easy for me to sympathize with her, was that I really did know what it felt like to be the older child who should concede and “know better” (apart from being my daughter of course, because I sympathize with Jamie too for the same reason  #disclaimer).  I told her stories about me being an Ate that she could relate to, and compared it with similar instances she’s had with Jamie.

After that she was wide-eyed.  I could see the wheels turning in her head when she processed what I said.  I even felt our connection grew stronger, as evidenced by our most recent late night conversations about what it means to be the eldest in the family.  I think it clicked that I really did get her because I went through it too when I was younger.  And while it still isn’t the fool-proof solution to her problems, it’s helped appease her in a big way.  It wasn’t about echoing her feelings and sympathizing; but actually showing that I could empathize completely.

I still encourage Sam to be the bigger person when I know it’s fair to her.  And while I commend her when she is that, I don’t fault her for the times when she isn’t.  She’s only four after all!  I want her to be able to process her feelings properly, so she’ll know how to handle it better later on.  Besides, we eldest kids need to get cut a little slack sometimes too.

May 28, 2013
by mymommyology
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A Mad Dash of a Shopping Spree

This is what happens when you release the SoMoms into a shopping sale.  Photo by Tammy David.

This is what happens when you release the SoMoms into a shopping sale. Photo by Tammy David.

Yesterday was quite the experience for me in all of my years of shopping at Glorietta.  Can I just say though:  it’s SOOOO different from the Glorietta area that I grew up with; but I’m not complaining.  We change with the times.  Okay I digress.

Anyway!  The #SoMoms were invited once more by Mench and Letty of Ayala Malls to get a sneak peek at Glorietta’s Back-to-School Midnight Madness Sale (happening this May 31 – June 2).  It’s perfect timing:  Sam is outgrowing most of her clothes and shoes from last school year.  Not only that, she’s also developing her own sense of style and taste and won’t just wear anything I buy for her anymore.  I was glad for the “preview” so at least when I take her shopping, I already know which items she can choose from.

The fun part about it was:  it wasn’t your usual “come, see and buy” type of event.  They turned it into a shopping spree race!  Each team was asked to develop a back-to-school concept for Moms and kids while finding the cool deals that the Glorietta merchants had to offer.  The winning team as judged by the Ayala Malls management, would even win a prize!

Now let’s be honest:  we all know how competitive moms can be, even when it comes to the fun stuff. 😉  And it involves shopping.  What could be a better motivation than that?

My partner for the day was Kris of OCMominManila.  We’re pretty used to working together that we just dove straight into the challenge and tackled it like we normally do our projects.  We brainstormed together on the concept and the idea (while walking around the mall in a frenzy — it was good exercise I will admit), verified it against our own experiences as the target market mothers, and then searched for the matching items that would fit the objectives at hand.  It sounds very nerdy I know, but we have fun doing it this way!  And also, we occasionally shop together and can come to an agreement fairly quickly (especially if we’re under time pressure!  We make it work!).

This is us in action.  Photos by Tammy David in Kamiseta and Gingersnaps.

This is us in action. Photos by Tammy David in Kamiseta and Gingersnaps.

Because we were multitasking to the highest levels (A part of the challenge was to Tweet or Instagram our finds, and list down all our options including the sale prices or discounts we could get), we occasionally got lost.  And so the resourceful people that we were, we stopped a janitor in his tracks and convinced him to share his guide key with us as we searched for the shops we wanted to visit.

Love it that the janitors can tell you where everything is. Photo by Tammy David

Love it that the janitors can tell you where everything is. Photo by Tammy David

Of course in a span of 60-minutes, we were bound to run into our “friendly competitors”.  As such, we used our detaining tactics as best as we could;)

Even if it didn't work it was fun to try! ;) Photos by Tammy David.

It didn’t work, but oh well! 😉 Photos by Tammy David.

In the end we came up with a “back-to-school, back-to-extra curricular” concept where we found clothes, shoes and accessories for Mom and child as they go through the different activities and events of the school year.  Our girls will both be in uniforms, so we needed something that could spice up their school extra-curricular events; a very integral part of a child’s school year.  We even tried to add in a color story that we thought was versatile enough to last the seasons:  blue (and white!).

This was our final presentation!

This was our final presentation, done in 30 minutes!  Yes, we can work under pressure.

It turned out that our last stop, Mayoral, a leading brand for children’s wear in Spain, released its back-to-school season collection recently with blue as its color story too!  I’d never been inside that shop until the race, and I’m glad we took a look.  They have so many cute things, and the clothes are sturdy and comfortable.  They, along with a lot of other shops have some pretty good deals that will be available to the public starting Friday.  Gingersnaps, Big and Small, and Basics for Kids for instance will have a range of items at a 50% discount!  Pinkbox accessories has a wall of clips that will be on discount, as well as some bundles of headbands that are already at great prices.  Kamiseta and Gap said that they will be putting out some good items on sale.  I need to get a list together before Friday comes around so I know what to shop for (or not, heehee!).

I’m not very good at searching at digging through sale items for prized finds.  It’s not my strong suit; but today’s run was good practice for me in preparation for Friday.  Kids’ school needs can pile up on you; you’d want to make every penny count (Side note:  Incidentally I thought of my sister-in-law who is GREAT at shopping and finding really good deals.  Her talent would have come in handy today!).  

But more than that, I don’t think I’ve ever had such fun running around a mall and shopping at the same time.  And it’s always an extra bonus when I get to do it with friends who are just as game, and just as excited as me.  After all, shopping was never meant to be done alone. 😉

I have so much fun with these people! :)

I have so much fun with these people! 🙂  Photo by Tammy David.

  Thank you Glorietta for this exhiliarating experience.  And congratulations to the SoMoms’ winning team, Patty of Non-stop Babble and Marc of Fatherland!

May 23, 2013
by mymommyology
1 Comment

Retail Therapy Fix at @TasteCentralPH

Here’s a fact of life:  Moms shop.

We shop for our kids, our home, ourselves, our friends, and for our husbands even if they tell us not to.  We come up with excuses to see each other on shopping trips (check out OCMominManila’s post about a 48-shopping trip!)  We have all sorts of reasons to and if not, we’ll make up one.  Everything can be justified.  Yes, it definitely can.

In fact I think that my husband’s white hair doubled in its appearance when I was given access to online shopping in Chapel Hill.  I could shop 24/7 from my cozy chair, and in a few days packages would arrive at our doorstep.  He never saw them coming, poor thing.  One time, I told him I wanted a new dress that I saw in the mall.  My license was up for renewal and I needed to be driven around while it was being processed (the good citizens that we were).  He refused to take me to the mall so I could try it on and said I didn’t need a new dress anyway.  In his defense, he was really trying to deter me from shopping any further, but of course, it didn’t work.  I just searched for the site online — and it was a good thing too because it was on sale online anyway! — and a few days later, I had my dress in my hands. 😉

When I think about some of the things I miss about Chapel Hill, online shopping is one of them.  Need another batch of diapers?  Click!  It’s at my door  two days later.  Need a birthday gift?  Off it goes, shipped to the celebrant.  Do I want something for myself (when did I not?!) – here it comes, just at the touch of a button (or two).  I tell you – it’s very hard to shop for anything in Manila when you have two toddlers in tow.  And the mom-guilt gets to me if I have to leave them at home for long periods of time as well.  Then again shopping is a way for moms to de-compress from all the home stress, guilt and outward giving of attention and energy.

Enter Taste Central, an online retail site launched a few months ago.  It’s the sister site of Deal Grocer (the go-to discount source for food, destinations and services.  Our local version of Living Social Deals basically).   They have some really REALLY nice things on the site.  Luxurious brands, sought-after popular products and a variety of things for the home, for kids and for women (The one for the men is coming soon!).  I tell you, each time I look at the site, my mouth waters and I don’t know where to begin.  I spend hours looking through each page trying to decide what we “need”.

The copy that they use on the site and in their weekly newsletters is brilliant too.  It’s alluring, seductive and very confident.  It really reels you in and makes you want more. The site is tastefully done and the interface is straight to the point, so it’s easy to go from one category to the next.

Anyway, Taste Central was able to push some of my purchasing buttons with their most recent sale.  Of course, the first area I hit was the women’s section.  A lot of the great brand names were almost half off!  I was going for shoes – however I hesitated because I still hadn’t confirmed my size.  I wish there was a sizing chart I could refer to while measuring my soles from home.  I debated on waiting in the hopes that they’d “complete the look” by adding more choices for accessories and clothes.  But as it is, everything looks fabulous.  I seriously could not decide what to do.

The kids’ brands are pretty amazing as well.  A lot of it veer more towards the infant – young toddler stage and I couldn’t think of anyone I wanted to gift at the moment, so I just drooled over everything.

I ended up in the Food section.  I came across some items from Trader Joe’s.  We loved shopping there in the states, it was nice to have a part of it within reach.  Trader Joe’s items aren’t also locally available in the groceries that I frequent.  My brother helped me decide on what to get, as he is also trying to help me lose the baby fat stuck in my body for the last two years and two months (I cannot use the “I just gave birth” or “I’m breastfeeding” excuses anymore!).  We agreed that I need healthier eating habits to start with, and so here we are, with salad dressing, trail mix and some gluten-free quinoa.

Trader Joe's!  Love love love.

Trader Joe’s! Love love love.

The items arrived in less than 24 hours.  Taste Central guarantees a 3-day shipping lead time for available items at a P100 delivery charge.  It also comes in a box that says, “Signed. Sealed. Delivered.  It’s all yours.”  How can you not want it?  

For now, I am happy to browse through the Taste Central site pages.  It’s therapeutic and relaxing because everything is nice to look at.  I daydream of owning a lot of the items someday.  Soon maybe?  Who knows.  I’m holding back, I know — mostly because I don’t want to give my husband a heart attack, heehee.  I’m eager to see what they add to their roster, because there is always something new, and it’s always something that you’d (I’d) want.

The lovely bit about Taste Central is that after you acquire the items you’ve purchased, there’s no regret.  There’s no guilt.  Everything is a good buy.  It makes you feel like you’ve just gotten one step closer to living a better, lifestyle because everything they offer is of the best quality.  They don’t settle for anything less.  As moms who give all that we have to everyone else, when we don’t ask for anything in return, then we shouldn’t have to settle for anything but the best for ourselves either.

(Now how’s that for an irrefutable  justification? ) 😉

May 21, 2013
by mymommyology
0 comments

Celebrate The Masterpiece In Your Child

It never occurred to me that Sam would appreciate yoga.  We once did a trial mom and me class at one of the local yoga centers and I sensed that it was a little too …. “still” for my busy active 4-yr old.  I felt she didn’t connect with the class and she got a tad bit antsy with the activities.  While the intent of yoga is good because it makes kids relax, breathe and focus and it’s supposed to calm them, I felt that this class just made Sam all the more hyper.  It’s as if she was just looking for what was next to do and she wasn’t focusing on the activities at hand.

In any case, I was pleasantly surprised that even after that first yoga experience, she wanted to participate in My Masterpiece’s demonstration on stage at the  Mommy Mundo #Momtuition ExpoMom.  She eagerly joined teachers Anna, Kara and Cocoy on stage and was one of the first children to raise her hand and volunteer.  She had a lot of fun too.  In fact, all I could get out of her for several days was when she could do yoga with Teacher Anna again.  “I love Teacher Anna Mom!  She’s so great!”

Anna, Cocoy and Kara are the trio that make up the school we know as My Masterpiece.  What all started out as playgroups at Anna’s house when her kids were younger eventually turned into creative and transformative movement open to kids 1 – 13.  They are truly a team of teachers, artists and parents.  Anna is a writer, a storyteller and most recently, a certified kids & family yoga teacher and facilitator.  Her husband Cocoy (also known as Rayyn by the way) is a musician and song writer by profession.  Anna’s sister Kara is a visual artist and art therapist.  So in every session, you can expect that they bring all these talents into the class.

The dynamic teaching trio :)

The dynamic teaching trio in action 🙂

We got a taste of My Masterpiece one time when Breeze with Activ-Bleach sponsored the SoMoms and our families to a morning of bonding and fun at Nuvali (and can I just say, from a marketing perspective – what a great fit it was for Breeze to sponsor this activity!).  Anna led the parents and the kids in some yoga activities, which were far from the usual boring stands and stretches.  Cocoy provided music that he wrote and the kids had to move to the beat.  The kids were asked to use their imagination when doing the different yoga poses, so it felt very interactive and exciting.

During the storytelling portion, Anna asked the kids to participate and gave them hats (that they created) for the kids to wear during the role-playing.

Kids loved the hats Teacher Kara made!!

Kids loved the hats Teacher Kara made!!  Photo credit: Lawrence Del Mundo

And the for the later part of the hour, Kara took over and led the art portion.  While the kids were having fun, getting messy and just creating their own works with the paint, Kara was still consciously giving them motions to make with their hands and fingers.  Talk about creative fine-motor skill development!  It felt like a very free-spirited “lose-yourself-in-your-craft” moment but from a parents’ perspective, it was still a good structured activity.  Win-win! 😉

Photo Credit: Lawrence Del Mundo

Photo Credit: Lawrence Del Mundo

The end result, if I may say so myself — was quite pretty!  And it didn’t look like a mess at all, when in fact the kids (and their clothes) were all getting into it full force.  Anna put it so aptly (and I will quote her again and again!):  What is a mess anyway, if it will bring out the masterpiece in your child?   I couldn’t agree more.

Tah-dah!

Tah-dah!

We got to chat a little bit more with Anna about My Masterpiece.  It was nice to learn that her vision and purpose for the school came from her Grandfather, Jose “Pepe” Diokno.

My Masterpiece's Inspiration

My Masterpiece’s Inspiration

Which is why, each class is also truly a multi-sensory experience every time.  There is a purpose for each part too:  from relaxing, breathing and moving to sharing oneself from the heart and bringing out the creative spark in each child and it is very thought-through by the teachers.  The biggest part of the outcome is still highly dependent on the make-up of the children in the class.  I don’t know about many other yoga or art or music classes that is as original and unique as this.  In fact, Sam is still singing praises about her experience that I need to make sure I get in touch with Anna ASAP to find a schedule where Sam can participate in some of their classes (a public note for the mom mush-brain!).

What I personally love is that from the get-go, they say that each child is already a masterpiece, and it’s really just a matter of bringing it out onto the surface.  And then they celebrate it too!  It’s true.  All our kids have their own unique talents and abilities, and they need parents and teachers (like Anna, Cocoy and Kara) to be able to recognize them and make them shine.  🙂

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