My Mommyology

January 27, 2014
by mymommyology
2 Comments

A Wicked Saturday

My grandparents were the people who introduced me to musicals. We were always in Repertory Philippines. On a trip into New York my grandpa took me to see pretty much everything there was on Broadway (except maybe Cats). Even the musicals like Fiddler on the Roof — which weren’t running on any stage either weren’t foreign to me.

I feel I’ve gained so much from this Broadway appreciation that I want my girls to appreciate musicals as well. We’ve taken them to see a few of the ones staged locally like Aladdin and Cinderella. So when I saw that Wicked was coming to Manila, I immediately purchased two tickets — for me and for Sam. The rest of my family decided to come along too; except for my husband and Jamie, who we thought would be too young still (and the dark parts of the plot and production might be too much for her gentle soul at this age).

Heading up to our seats!

I’d seen Wicked on Broadway with my husband years ago (now that I think about it, I was pregnant with Sam then!), so I had a vague memory of the plot. And I was a fan of the Wizard of Oz back in the day, so I appreciated how the story somehow tied questions that had been percolating in my head throughout my childhood. I was confident it wouldn’t be too much for my adventurous little Sam.

The days leading up to our show, I had Sam listen to the music and view some popular clips off You Tube. With her I’ve learned that it helps to build interest by giving her a taste of what’s to come. We even had a quick synopsis of the story on the way to Kumon one day. Needless to say she was excited on so many levels. By the time Saturday rolled around, she was already humming “One Short Day” and “Defying Gravity”.
It helped to say that the voice of Elsa in Disney’s Frozen was also the first person to play Elphaba — Idina Menzel.

Of course, an added bonus was that she had me all to herself on a date. We hadn’t done this in a while since I fired the yaya (and since Jamie’s allergies had started flaring up — it’s been extra hard to get time away with Sam). The show’s venue had some very positive memories for her too; it was where she performed last year for her ballet recital.

We got to CCP early enough to look around and view the set-up on display. Another good teaser for Sam to be able to appreciate what she might see.

When we finally got to our seats, Sam couldn’t wait for the musical to start. We had seats up in the balcony area (budget purposes!), but she didn’t mind because of the make-shift telescopes they were selling outside. These were actually pretty clear and they gave you a good view of the stage.

Testing out our binoculars. They sell them for P75 oustide the balcony area!

Testing out our binoculars. They sell them for P75 outside the balcony area!

And she loved the production values — from the red-eyed dragon to the glowing emerald city… to all the colors of the lights and where they shown and when.

I’d forgotten about the red-eyed dragon.

Throughout the entire show Sam had questions and demanded answers. It was quite tiring really, but I tried to stay patient since I knew she was really trying to understand everything transpiring in front of her. In a way it kept me on my toes because I was also trying to anticipate what was coming next. It also gave me a deeper understanding of the whole story and the little details that I’d forgotten or had missed out the first time around.

My husband will be happy to know that during the more adult, romantic scene (When Fiyero and Elphaba sing together in the second half), Sam had tuned out and asked for a lollipop so we busied ourselves trying to open it at just the right moments. I didn’t bother re-capping that portion to her either. And on that note, while the story of Wicked is more adult than it is child-friendly, it still wasn’t hard to downplay the adult-portions into something more wholesome and age appropriate. It just took a little bit of creativity! 😉

When we exited the theater I had to go back to the wall exhibit they had and take a photo of it. I knew it would come in handy when we’d relive the story of Wicked.

Some elements of the play!

At the end of the end of the show as we walked out, Sam proclaimed to everyone, “I liked it!” — like a critic making her final review.

What’s not to like about Wicked anyway. It’s witty, it’s relevant, and it’s touching all at the same time. The songs are fantastic, and the actors who play the roles are all top-quality. And of course I had the most awesome date. 😉

Me and my Wicked date.

January 24, 2014
by mymommyology
2 Comments

Something To Teach Our Kids: It’s Ok Not To Be Ok

As the holidays came and went, so did the many social gatherings. I used to be able to keep up with all of that, but now as a mom (and okay… I’m no spring chicken anymore!), I really just… can’t. Plain and simple. More than the physical fatigue that I feel, it’s the emotional drain on myself and on the girls. Who else will deal with them through their highs and their lows but me? We moms tend to be the last line of defense, are we not?!

It was during the holidays when this happened the most, hence the reference to the season (and all its stresses). Because of the constant change in schedules, the festivities and all the holiday activities, the kids were constantly overtired. Their whole schedule was disrupted and there was hardly any part of their routine that was strictly followed. In fact, pretty much all sorts of rules are broken or bent. And it brought out all sorts of characters and personalities in my usually manageable set of sisters, and in myself too. I’ve come to the conclusion that the holidays are a recipe for tantrums, meltdowns, and just about any or all kinds of emotional stress. That goes for both the parent and for the child.

And it was in this season when I found myself resorting to the phrase “It’s okay“, more than I would have liked to (and more than I should have). It was an absent-minded, please-give-me-some-peace response to just about every other whine, defiant response, cry or tussle that came my way.

“Mama she’s not sharing! She’s not giving me a turn!” — It’s okay, it’s okay.

“Mama she grabbed!” — It’s okay, no big deal.

“But Mama she ate chocolate and didn’t eat dinner!” — It’s okay we’ll wash it down with water.

“But Mama, I don‘t LIKE this dress!” — It’s okay. It’s fine.

“Ouchie Mama I hurt my toe!” — It’s okay. Stop crying you’re fine.

Saying “it’s okay”, — I felt (and still do feel) — was really a cop-out for handling the situation and teaching my children how to deal with conflict and their own feelings. I was busy. I was tired; I was overtired. I was preoccupied with other things. I just wanted the crying to stop! And I really just wanted some semblance of peace. But that doesn’t make the standard “it’s okay” response right.

Saying “it’s okay” when a child is hurting (physically or otherwise), speaking their mind or calling out a bad behavior will send them mixed signals. “Why is it okay that other people are allowed to grab but we’re not?” “How can it be okay? I feel hurt!” It’s just not the appropriate response, no matter how I’m feeling as a person.

And I’ve noticed it resonates a lot in our society and our culture too. Collectively we seem to be a people who are conflict-avoidant. We seek harmony and happiness, particularly in social gatherings when all is supposed to go pleasantly. It’s definitely an eyesore (or an ear-sore) to have a whiny, child crying and the easiest route would be to give them what they want or to shush them out so that things can move forward as planned.

This is what I call: Tantrum-in-progress. And we had to be somewhere 10 mins ago.

But children — my children — also don’t really care about agendas, or schedules. They feel how they feel when they feel it. And as a parent it’s my responsibility to teach my children the right values. They will first learn to acknowledge how they feel from me. They will learn that it’s okay to not be okay, and that it’s also important to express it. There is a right time and place to correct their behavior too, and it may not be at that time when all emotions are running high (what Coach Pia calls finding the teaching moment).

I remember, in a session with Coach Pia, she mentioned that as parents we have a greater responsibility towards our children. Therefore, if it means having to set aside our own feelings first to ensure their well-being (to guide them correctly and address their own concerns), then it must be done. We are adults after all, we can wait. They are children. They don’t have the capacity yet to set their own feelings aside. And at a young age, they shouldn’t have to.

In fact, it’s actually “okay” to say — it’s not okay. “I’m not okay mom”, is one way Sam gets my attention because she needs to talk to me about something. She didn’t like how she was treated by a playmate. She didn’t feel good about doing something I asked her to do. She’s tired, hungry, sleepy, or feeling ill. She has every right to not be okay, and by acknowledging it I can help her process it. I want her to be aware and to know how to handle herself or what to do the next time that happens. With Jamie, I realized it takes a while for her to come to terms with things. So sometimes, I let her cry it out, or sulk. I give her the words to express how she’s feeling. The next time around hopefully she knows she’ll be okay “not to be okay”, and she can process it faster.

Jamie is "processin" Rosie. I heard her say, "Look at me, what's the matter." Must have learned that from me!

Jamie is “processing” Rosie. I heard her say, “Look at me, what’s the matter.” Must have learned that from me!

Am I coddling my kids too much? I really don’t think so. In fact I feel that by allowing them to “not be ok”, they’re still going through the experience, but with some guidance as to how to make it out on the opposite end. They’re still learning how to deal with their feelings, because if I don’t teach them, they will learn it from somewhere else (and that is not okay with me!). After all, we can’t expect them to know what to do if they’ve never been taught it before!

January 15, 2014
by mymommyology
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My Mommyology Likes: Sofia the First

We’ve been watching it everyday, multiple times a day, and so it’s got to go on the blog.

If you haven’t caught this new series on our Disney Junior channels, then you’re truly missing out (not your child, you momma!). Sofia the First is a charming and smart take on the modern-day princess. She’s quite the personality; and a lot of little girls can relate to her. I’ve seen many a pretend play of little girls who pretend to become a “princess overnight” one way or the other, just like in our favorite Disney fairy tales of long ago. I feel it incorporates a lot of “current” situations and concerns that affect children in this day and age, but true to the Disney spirit, the Sofia series still has its own unique quirks that make it more than adorable.

Sofia and her animal friends. Everyday on Disney Junior (may it always be so).

Sofia wasn’t born into princess-hood, but her mom decides to marry the King of Enchancia (what back stories the writers had on this, I can only imagine!), and so the series revolves around her trying to be a “proper princess”. Essentially, she straddles all worlds — royal, common and enchanted. As a present, Sofia is also given a magical amulet — which helps her in times of need, which curses her when she isn’t being very good, and allows her to speak to animals. Clover the bunny is of course a hit with Jamie. The tales have witches and flying horses and a sorcerer who is trying to take over the kingdom and is hell-bent on stealing Sofia’s magical amulet in the process.

Sofia has step-siblings, twins Amber and James. Having a brother makes it slightly appealing even to the boys, as it allows Sofia to explore non-princess things, such as picnic games, or trying out for the flying Derby. She even gets into trouble boys normally would get themselves into, because of James.

Sofia and James

Even Sofia’s relationship with Amber is not your typical wicked stepsister story (except probably in the pilot episode when Sofia was first brought into the castle). And that makes sense, because children that age really don’t have malicious intentions. It shows how the girls fight, disagree but still get along and act like true sisters in the end. I actually love Amber (and so does Jamie), she’s royally cute. And she has an amazing singing voice!

Sofia and Amber

I let the girls enjoy Sofia the First repeatedly, first of all because of the life lessons. In twenty-two minutes, Sofia and the people around her are able to convey a great lesson to parents and children alike. There is a story about being a good sport. Another one is about telling the truth, and not covering up for lies. There’s another one meant for parents, to allow children to experience the world for themselves (within reason and limits of course, and with proper supervision). The fun part of it is, sometimes the creators have the princesses of the past make special magical appearances.

See top right: Belle is making an appearance in this episode.

According to Sam, Cinderella, Jasmine, Ariel and Princess Aurora have all made appearances as well in the several episodes she’s seen. And the nice part is, the writers are able to link a prevailing theme from their own Disney Princess stories and link it to the lesson Sofia needs to learn in that episode. It makes these princesses of the past relevant to little girls who may have never watched their movies before (and whose parents may not want them to watch it because Princesses these days are evolving as we’ve seen!). It’s kind of cool that way in my book.

The next is because of the songs. I’m quite impressed by the lyrics, the melody and how it always fits perfectly into the story. How do they make so many songs so catchy? It’s amazing. I sometimes catch myself singing to it too at odd times of the day.

The third is more for me really — because I love Tim Gunn (of course I am a Project Runway fan)! He is the voice of Baileywick, the castle caretaker (and essentially the children’s babysitter). There are references in some episodes to suggest that he used to care for the King too when he was a boy. The first time I saw Sofia, I knew immediately it was him and I was hooked.

Love love love Tim Gunn! ‘Nuff said!

I love even how they styled Baileywick’s character to resemble Tim Gunn. And how his songs or some of his famous lines make it even into the stories. Like “Make it Work!” 😉

Sofia the First is a good thing to have in my book, and on my TV. The girls are captivated by everyone on the screen. It helps make certain key lessons concrete. And when they play pretend princesses or something of the sort, I really don’t mind that they reference Sofia, Amber and the rest of their crew. 🙂

Sofia the First is on daily at 1030AM, with Replays at 630PM.

January 10, 2014
by mymommyology
2 Comments

Tooth-brush Fun

Pepsodent is generously giving away THREE Brushing Adventure gift packs. Check the end of this post to find out how you could to get one. 🙂

I’d always taken toothbrush time for granted.

I just assumed it was a necessity and didn’t make much of a fuss about it when Sam’s teeth started to come in. We even made the first visit to a pediatric dentist quite late, but thankfully Sam’s teeth were ok. With Sam — we started the act of brushing twice a day when she started pre-school. It became part of the routine before she’d leave for school and after she’d bathe at night before jumping into her pajamas.

And so with Jamie, I figured it wouldn’t be much different. Except of course, I took for granted that I was also dealing with Jamie — a totally different personality from her sister.

I couldn’t understand why Jamie didn’t want to brush her teeth. She had her moods, and she just refused — with tight lips and all. We’d have brushing battles, where I’d coax, bribe, give an obvious choice (who will brush your teeth, you or me?!), and somehow we’d still end up in tears. We’d both end up in tears. It would ruin the start of her day or the end of mine.

I wasn’t about to let her skip this routine (and if I left this to my husband, I’m sure he’d just let her sleep without the proper brushing!), especially with the kind of crowding she had (the dentist said Daddy would need a second job FOR SURE!). At the same time, I didn’t want to traumatize her to hate this little routine for life. Whoever thought it would be a challenge?! I really really never did. The things kids teach you, ey?

Then Pepsodent contacted some of the SoMoms to talk about their latest advocacy. Apparently, tooth-brush challenges amongst toddlers are common (hurray, am not alone), and as such Pepsodent wants to help make brushing fun for both the mother and child. That’s pretty nice, don’t you think? I’m all for anything that will help make it easy for moms and at the same time, still get the job done.

Over the years I’ve come up with a few of my own tips and tricks which I’d like to share with you.

Singing Songs. I don’t know how many songs I’ve made up, seriously. About the berries and the cherries and hiding in the creviees (aka crevices — forgive me, it does need to rhyme!). “Or take out the bread bits from Jamie’s teeth!” Jamie has always responded well to music. If in case you don’t feel like being creative, Pepsodent has actually created a Brushing Can Be Fun song. Click on the link to listen to the song. Who knows, it’s subliminal message of “brushing in the day and brushing in the night” could work as a self-reminder to kids.

Brush in the day! Brushing in the night! Brushing can be fun fun fun!

Fun toothbrush flavors and brushing tools. It becomes much harder to continuously stick tastes in their mouths that they don’t like. Sometimes the fluoride stings too so it’s important to choose brands that are child-friendly. Small amounts of toothpaste are okay — they have small mouths after all. 🙂

Brushing in front of the mirror. Children fancy watching themselves and our bathroom mirror is just too high, even with a stool. So even if it means going out of the bathroom (with saliva and wet splotches of toothpaste dripping onto the floor!), I let Jamie and Sam brush their own teeth in front of the bedroom mirror. At least they see where the brush goes and what it looks like to have a bubbly mouth or clean teeth. It distracts them from whatever hindrances they’ve thought of. Sometimes they like to dance in front of the mirror too while brushing their teeth — butt-naked. But you didn’t need to know that. 😉

Rewarding (but only on really difficult days). I never thought about giving stickers for proper day and night brushing! I always thought rewards were used for the potty only – but why not right? Pepsodent has this Day and Night kit where the child receives stickers after brushing in the day and at night.

Jamie likes stickers… it might actually work!

Once completed for doing it everyday, they get a huge sticker badge. Not bad. And it’s not a bad way to teach children something they need to do anyway.

Asking Ate for “help”. Or helping Ate! In our home, Ate plays a key role in Jamie’s development. Jamie loves to imitate her sister, and Sam willingly helps in caring for Jamie. Sometimes, it’s the other way around, and Jamie cares for Sam. I shamelessly use this to my advantage and ask Sam to help Jamie brush her teeth, or vice-versa. Or, they need to do it together to make it more fun.

Just going with it. Really. If she feels like brushing her teeth while wearing her shades… who am I to argue.

The cool way to brush your teeth.

One or the other tends to work, depending on Jamie’s mood. It’s always good to have an arsenal of choices to play with.

Now maybe you:

a) Have some of your own you’d like to share?

b) Are one of those moms who have Brushing challenges?

c) Have not quite religiously instilled the habit of brushing twice a day yet? or

d) Are one, any or all of the above…

As part of the #BrushingCanBeFun advocacy, Pepsodent is generously giving away gift packs to moms like us — who need to make brushing an adventure for their kids.

Please leave a comment on the blog as to why Pepsodent should pick your family to receive the pack. What tips and tricks do you have up your sleeve that you’d like to share? Don’t forget to indicate an email address so we can contact you if you are chosen. 🙂 The give-away applies to Metro Manila Residents only, and will be awarded by January 17, 2014.

Instagram posts tagging @PepsodentPH and @MyMommyology are most welcome too. Please use the hashtag #brushingcanbefun so we can find you!

Happy Brushing!

To learn more about Pepsodent, please visit their Facebook Page: Pepsodent Philippines.

January 9, 2014
by mymommyology
0 comments

Frolicky Family Fun at Anvaya Cove

In a throwback Thursday kind of way, I will tell you about our family trip to Anvaya Cove last November.

It was the weekend after Sam’s birthday, the original simple celebration we were supposed to have to celebrate her 5th. Of course, with the celebrations that had already happened, we just decided to make it a family outing anyway (since we’d booked the room months before that). Plus, Jamie needed a break from the polluted city life because her skin allergy was flaring up to no end.

Can I just say: I look forward to our family of four trips away. They’ve gotten extra precious now that we’re back in Manila, because I feel the four of us don’t have enough quality time alone (at least that’s how I feel). So I’ve required that we ensure we have at least one trip away each year where it’s “just us”.

The drive going was a bit long but it was fairly relaxing. We had to stop at one of the gas station complexes with food choices for lunch and coffee (Can someone PLEASE do something about the death-defying public bathrooms in these areas! I wanted to put both children in diapers!), and the kids took a much-needed nap in the car. When we got there the sky was overcast, a perfect time to hit the beach in the late afternoon.

The golf cart shuttle service was an immediate hit.

One of the many golf cart rides.

We had booked the a Lagoon terrace room, which overlooks a pond where the ducks swim, and they were enough of an attraction for Jamie as well.

And then of course, there were the fish.

Here fishie fishie…

The beach — at first was a bit of a strange concept to Sam who is pretty spoiled with the white powdery sand of Boracay, but that lasted for all of 15 seconds. She was fine with it after. There were some water rides, but the girls were a bit too young for it. The sandy playground though was one Sam was able to enjoy. Jamie preferred jumping on the beach.

Jump, run, spin, weee!

We had our little picnic with Sonja’s Cupcakes and cookies, leftover from Sam’s birthday.

Time for snacks!

Even my husband decided to try out his luck and practice his VT-R poses. Who knows, someone may need a real estate model one day. 😉

Posing-posing pag may time…

Eventually the girls warmed up to the cool salt water and kept jumping and splashing in. Jamie even asked for her goggles because she wanted to scout for fish. She actually saw a couple of schools because they “liked mommy’s feet”.

Splish, splash!

Then as the sun went down we went on over to the pool complex. There are lifeguards on duty that insist children under 3 wear life-saving devices as a safety precaution. I totally appreciated their concern, but Jamie wouldn’t have it. She just wanted to do her swim exercises. I made friends with the lifeguard and assured him that my girls knew how to swim. ~~Somewhat.~~

The swimming pool complex

I suppose our energy over-all was very relaxed and easy-going, and it showed in the demeanor of the girls. They did not fight over dinner, not once. Usually we need two iPads to keep them calm and get our meal in; they happily entertained themselves with each other and occasionally with my one little iPhone. Even on our way back to our room, Jamie and Sam walked and explored on their own, without waiting for me. Just as well, since I was able to take this shot.

I do love the bond they share.

In the room after their baths, we had a series of firsts. The girls first wanted to dress in the bathrobes we found hanging in the bathroom.

Like the little bosses they are.

And then… they wanted me to open the TV so they could watch something while “eating chips“. It totally threw us because we’d never injected that concept into them before. I suppose they saw the mini bar and thought the food was free. Amusing little minds.

All the swimming and fish-hunting exhausted them out after a few shows and the girls immediately went to sleep. The beauty of it all was that the salt water helped heal Jamie’s wounds and made her skin itch completely disappear. As such, she slept quite soundly through the night… another relief for me, as I’ve been waking up at least twice a night to re-apply ointments on her.

The terrace was quite useful to us too as my husband and I were able to unwind outside with the cool breeze and have ourselves some sort of date. 🙂

The next day, Sam was up early excited to get back into the swing of things.

Sam making her way back to the beach via the playground.

Jamie on the other hand, took her time. She woke up refreshed from a sound evening of sleep, and didn’t complain about the sunblock application. She even wanted to walk so she could say hi to the ducks.

Fashionably dressed to see the ducks!

But all in all, it was the most easy-going enjoyable time we’ve had in a long long time… or so I felt.

We broke a few of our rules (like no chips on the bed after bath time!), but I also didn’t seem to mind. The kids were having too good a time, the whole time, it was such fun to watch.

The girls didn’t want to leave. They said they weren’t tired but immediately konked out in the car, pretty much the whole ride home. They’ve already requested for a trip back, and because it was so enjoyable for us, I’m quite tempted to book one already sooner. Maybe these family of four getaways should happen more than once every year. 🙂