Once in a while an impromptu night out with old friends happens. Old — referring to friends of my childhood and those I’ve been with for a long time… but yes I suppose we’re not spring chickens anymore either. 😉
Impromptu is big in my world as most of us are now moms with other responsibilities. We all work around our kids’ schedules first, and then try to fit in time for ourselves in between. And as you know, I’m a planner and I like sticking to a routine. And maybe it’s also because my generation of friends — (i’ll say it again) we’ve all just gotten older. Plus the worsening traffic situation doesn’t give any added incentive. So it’s rare that we get to go out for (alcoholic) drinks these days. Usually it’s coffee or lunch over a play date with the kids, or a pre-planned special occasion get-together.
But one night the stars aligned for me, Polly and Chin, and our schedules allowed us to leave. Our husbands didn’t have much of a choice I think 😉 (But they were all good sports about it anyway). And so there we were, three mothers released into the wild (we were very tame about it though), happy hour drinks for each hand.
The wonderful thing about old friends is the history. The jokes can go all the way back but still remain relevant. The sessions, they aren’t really “vent” sessions but rather a stress-reliever and a way to laugh at oneself and the rest of the world. Sometimes out of our tispy stupor (I will admit that age and lack of practice comes the decreased tolerance levels), we cry at the darndest, and the most serious things. The conversations and emotions jump, but we’re able to follow.
And… there’s of course, the good ol’ reliable gossip. Or in our culture, we say chismis. Now I know we teach our kids not to gossip about other people, and really and truly I try to practice this myself and be an example (heck I don’t want to be gossip-ed about either). But when you’re with these kinds of friends, having these kinds of drinks (after THAT kind of a week), then why not! Besides, it’s merely a bonding tool and it goes down with the alcohol and stays only with us. It’s a girl thing! 😉
The best part of it is, while they’re the oldest of friends, we still stay very current and updated. Parenting our children is just one of the many things we talk about, and all of its ups and downs and ins and outs. And there’s no judgement whatsoever. You know that you can just let it all hang loose.
I find that when I come back from these rare Mommy’s Nights Out, despite it being late at night with nonstop banter, I feel re-energized. It’ relaxes me in a way. All the happy vibes carry through and I have more patience to tackle the day-to-day things, particularly the kids.
Every mom should have this kind of a support group. Alcohol or not. Doesn’t matter how big or small, how scarcely or frequently it happens; but it’s good for the soul when it does. And while I will teach my girls to transcend and manage their ego where and when appropriate, when they are mothers themselves, I’d wish for them to have 2 or 3 “old friends” they gossip the happy hours away with. 🙂