I consider myself a relatively OC (the new and evolved meaning of obsessive compulsive) person, at least when it comes to the order of the house. In the past my friends would call me a clean-freak, or a neat-freak since I had specific ways of ensuring everything at home was in its proper place: Color-coded clothes, shoes arranged by size, the imaginary compartments within each drawer (particularly underwear), and Sam’s toys have to be arranged in a specific order. Seriously, I wouldn’t consider it “fixed” until everything is the way I left it. I would scrub the kitchen floors and clean the bathrooms daily, we’d run out of cleaning agents so fast you’d think we drank it all up for dinner.
Lately though with this pregnancy, even my husband says that my “neat-freak standards” have gone down, and I’ve let a few things slip through the cracks. Ironically you would think that I should actually be at the height of my nesting phase by now! This pile of baby clothes you’re looking at, they’ve been that way in the guest bedroom for DAYS (The stroller is Sam’s personal addition to “helping mom”). And that’s not normally me! The old me would have had that washed and folded and sorted in its proper drawer that same day, ready to be re-washed right before I’d be due.
My behavior is worrisome, at least to me. Will I be like this from now on, or is this just a phase I’m going through and my old neat-freak / clean-freak self will come back with a vengeance and drive everyone around me nuts when it does? Or is it just going to kick in at a later time in this pregnancy when I know that I cannot procrastinate any longer and I really need to get the pre-pregnancy chores done, done and done? Will it drive me to labor (and if so, then please “kick in”, in about 5 weeks’ time!)?
I’ve tried to isolate the cause of it all, and my guess is that our daily routine alone is enough to keep me busy such that I know I’m forced to prioritize. I just can’t do it all in a day. So things “slip”, and have to wait until such time when I can get to them. Keeping up with Sam and her schedule (school, Kindermusik, Little Gym, and whatever other activities we do at home) and getting the basic chores done are really all I can do without wiping myself out at the end of each day. The cold weather as well isn’t helping, making me sluggish and sleepy all the time! Maybe when the weather turns I will get a burst of energy back, enough to finish all the tasks I set per day, particularly the ones related to the baby!
Then again, another dear friend of mine pointed out, when you have a child in your home, there is no way your life will ever be organized and orderly ever again. That is true… but I will never forgive myself if I don’t try!