Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (February). For this month, we focus on back to basics. Participants will share advice – either the best breastfeeding advice they received OR/AND the best breastfeeding advice they can give to new moms. Please scroll down to the end of the post to see the list of carnival entries.
***
There are two words that come to mind when I think about breastfeeding advice: INFORMATION OVERLOAD.
How to prepare. The proper latch. What to do with engorged breasts. Which breastpump is best. The pros and cons. What to eat, what not to do. What happens if I can’t breastfeed… the list goes on and makes your head spin (and mine too, quite honestly).
As a first time mom I found it so overwhelming. I was glad to have all that information on hand, but seriously it was a lot to take in also. And after two baby girls, 9,000 diaper changes and 25 months (cumulative) of breastfeeding, I decided to just name the top three bits of information I’ve gathered from this ongoing breastfeeding experience.
Breastfeeding is hard. You know that saying, Life is Hard but Good? I find that breastfeeding is a lot like that. Now when I first started out, no one really told me that it was hard. Well, who would right? I mean let’s face it — as a first time mom — that’s not something you want to hear amidst all the anxiety and excitement and apprehension you’re already feeling. A lot of people like to focus on the unparalleled benefits, and while those are all true and I agree with them all 500%, it also doesn’t remove the fact that it is physically and emotionally difficult. In my case – after I gave birth and the pain medicines wore off, I felt like I had been hit by a truck. I was aching, exhausted and sleep deprived, and yet I had to provide someone all the sustenance that they’d ever known. Talk about pressure!
On top of which, each feeding session would last 30-45 minutes and would re-occur in 90 – 120 minute intervals, 24/7. My nipples were extremely sore and painful, and didn’t have much time to recover between feedings (My girls refused the bottle). Of course there was also the occasional engorgement and blocked milk duct and relieving yourself of them is a painful process too!
Now take a breath, because my intention is not to scare you in any way! All I’m saying is that it is a process that doesn’t magically happen and things are all nice and peachy. I believe (and feel) that you have to constantly work at it to be able to do it for as long as you hope to (or maybe even longer. You may surprise yourself!). It takes time, patience, willpower and a kind of strength and determination that you never knew you had in you (and believe me, you have it in you. All moms do!). I think in the end, that’s what makes it a worthwhile experience to even just go through.
Breastfeeding requires a balance of planning and flexibility. I guess I figured that for as long as I had my “plan”, I could work towards it and we’d all be fine. Things would be easier.
Holy Cow (pardon the pun)!
As it turned out, following the plan was more of the exception than the rule. For someone like me who likes order and knowing what comes next, it was quite frustrating a lot of the time. As breastfeeding is very time consuming, you can imagine how many times I had to make a plan B — or C or D — because I could not accurately plan how the day would turn out. It was all highly dependent on how our feeding sessions went. Both my girls refused to take expressed milk from the bottle and chose to cry for hours on end until they got their milk from me (Yes, they are strong-willed, a trait I’m told they inherit from me. Go figure), so I also couldn’t leave for prolonged periods of time.
My husband would reason with me especially when I was on the verge of tears, that they’re not robots and won’t always stick to a strict schedule. I realized that is true. In their first year babies go through a lot of growth spurts and major physiological changes that throw you and your routine for a loop. A little cold, the emergence of a tooth, travel plans — it affects any routine you’re trying to establish. Babies don’t have any concept of time; they will go by what they need when they feel they need it and as the milk wagon in their life, you’ve no choice but to follow their lead.
Of course I still believe (even for our sanity’s sake) that we should still have a routine that we aspire for and work towards. Children benefit from consistency (or the semblance of it anyway). If it makes any sense though (and for sanity’s sake as well), being flexible is also part of the daily routine. Don’t drive yourself crazy if things don’t pan out in the time frame or order that you intended. There’s always the next day to try it out again.
Breastfeeding is unique to every mom and child. Let me explain.
If you’re anything like me, then you’d have already read up on all the literature you could get your hands on, and talked to all the breastfeeding moms in your circle. You’ve attended the classes, prepped and bought all the gear — the works. You know what to expect; in theory you’re set and ready.
Well, I thought I was. But then with each of my girls, I still “encountered” a lot of surprises and a lot of moments where I found myself thinking, “Hey hang on, that’s not what the book said…”
I suppose all I’m trying to say, is that I wish that I spent time listening to my gut versus trying to work towards what the book or someone else had said worked for them. With Sam, I lost a lot of sleep (and I wasn’t getting that much sleep to begin with) thinking, wondering, or trying to “fix” what was wrong, based on what I’d read or heard. With Jamie (the second time around), I had no choice but to go with my instinct — between Sam and the chores, I had neither the time or patience to re-visit the books. I found it easier because there was less pressure on myself and my only gauge was whether or not Jamie was thriving or getting what she needed.
It is definitely always good to stay abreast (no pun intended) on the latest developments on breastfeeding. But ultimately though I feel that the “best method” comes from the personal, actual experience you have with your baby. It’s a learn-and-adapt-as-we-go-along kind of thing. Isn’t that after all, the essence of motherhood?
Hopefully with everything that you know now about breastfeeding (from all the resources available to you), you can pick and choose what you feel you need to get you started. Just breathe! It will all come to you when you need it to. Good luck, and enjoy! 🙂
Visit the other Carnvial Entries here:
The Articulate Pen’s Breastfeeding needs Patience
Diapers and Stethoscope’s Back to Basic
Ms. Masungit’s From One Mom To Another
The Odyssey of Dinna’s Breastfeeding Words of Wisdom
Mrs. Bry126’s We’re All in this Together
I Am Clarice’s Paying it Forward
My Mommy Kwentos’ Sharing My Favorite Breastfeeding Advice
Planet Marsy’s Better Than None
Mommy {T} Coach’s Saved by the Nursing Mommas
Mama Drama’s Patience and Breast-friends
Adventures on Planet Mom’s Stubborn Me! Sure Glad I didn’t give up
Nanaystrip’s Eat Malunggay, Say “I Have Milk” and Love your Baby
Starting at Twenty-Five’s My Husband’s Best Breastfeeding Advice
Nanay *Loves* Purple’s Why Attend Breastfeeding Class/Seminars
Truly Rich Mom’s My Top 5 Breastfeeding Tips for New Moms
Legally Mama’s Take it from the non-expert!
Mommy Mama Rat’s My Breastfeeding Mantra
Mr. Jacob’s Mom’s Breastfeeding Tips from a Non-Breastfed Mommy
Hybrid Rasta Mama’s Breastfeeding Lists, Advice, Links and More
Apples and Dumplings’ One Word of Breastfeeding Advice
Touring Kitty’s Just Do It
EthanMama’s Only the Best for My Baby
the canDIshhh tales’ My Breastfeeding Advice
Mec as Mom’s Enough is Enough
Chronicles of a Nursing Mom’s On Breastfeeding Number Two – Redux
Like this:
Like Loading...
Anne Mercado is the quirky author behind Green Eggs & Moms, which offers clever tips and news to keep moms with young kids sane. When she’s not hunched over the computer working, you can find her either counting down to ten to get her kiddo to move faster, or reading a horror book. She also loves vampires and zombies.
