My Mommyology

Learning from Motherhood.

July 30, 2013
by mymommyology
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#FailProofYourFuture and Build Your Family’s Financial Quotient

What's your earliest memory of money?

What’s your earliest memory of money?

Growing up, my “Money Memory” (as Suze Orman calls it) was one that had to be earned, saved and budgeted all on my own.  In my earlier years, my mom would credit a monthly allowance into my bank account.  She told me that’s all I would get for the month and so I had to budget it accordingly.  That included my recess and lunch money, and other things I wanted to spend on (outside of gas or school necessities like textbooks or school shoes).  If I went out with friends to a movie, I had to use that money.  If I wanted to buy little trinkets or a new cassette tape (I just dated myself right there!), I had to use part of that fund.  And if I used the credit card extension on things other than its intended purpose, I had to pay it back (with the money I saved).  This scheme kept me quite disciplined, and it taught me to plan ahead and budget.  It also forced me to choose and prioritize what I would spend on and when.

My family also taught me to work hard to earn more.  When I’d get good grades, I’d present my report card to my grandparents and they would give me rewards tantamount to the level of honors I presented.  The higher the grade, the higher the amount I’d get.  During the summer my grandfather would take me with him to his office and I would earn coins for shredding paper or fixing something behind the desk, or punching in a sale.

I would never have realized how these past incidences affect the way I currently view and handle money had Rose Fres Fausto not pointed it out that Saturday morning at New World Hotel.

Incidentally, a #SoMoms gathering isn’t complete without great food, and New World never disappoints!  At the ground floor to the right of the lobby is a function room with its own kitchen.  All our food was prepared there.  The best part about it was we didn’t even notice.  The chefs were very discreet, and there was absolutely no smell of food sticking to our clothes.  Sublime!

It was so cool and all so yummy!

It was so cool and all so yummy!

But I digress.   Back to Rose and Raising our Financial Quotient.

It is true though – my money memory affects my parenting.  I recently said to Sam, if she wanted the macaroons across the street, she had to save the coins she would get and use them to buy it.  As it turned out, after a few quick lessons in addition, subtraction and (yes), multiplication, my almost five-year old scraped together enough to get 6 macroons of her choice.  I didn’t realize I had just give my own daughter her first Money Memory right there.  And yet – it was more on spending.  What about the saving part of it all?

How Sam got her Macaroons...

How Sam got her Macaroons…

Rose was the key speaker in a Financial talk sponsored by AXA for the #SoMoms, a session we had to help better our own Financial Quotient.   A mother of three boys, Rose was an investment banker before she decided to become a full-time homemaker, and she is currently a columnist at PhilStar.com.  I’m so glad she took the time to talk to us and shed some insights on raising our kids’ financial quotients (as early as birth she says!).  After the “spend-on-macaroons” incident, I was sure we (my family) needed it.

Strangely enough, matters concerning money aren’t new to me.  My mom was into investments for as long as I could remember.  My dad worked in the Stock Market, although admittedly I could never understand it.  I took finance courses in college and passed.  And I married someone who was a banker for most of our pre-wedding years.  But for some reason, it never struck me to see it the way Rose did and that made everything I knew take on a different (yet more relevant) light.

Rose first suggested that as a family we sit down with our spouses and our kids and talk about our core values.  From there we were to reflect the way we used and handled money so that it would support this.  That totally makes sense because it’s really how you want to live and carry out your life (and yet, no Finance professor I’ve listened to has ever mentioned it).  Why do it any other way?  It’s something that was never done in my family before – or it was, but I wasn’t involved until much later.

Corollary to that and contrary to cultural practices, she advised that we involve our kids in family money discussions.  Making them aware of the money, the assets and the decision-making will help build their financial quotient and teach them good saving habits early on.  Rose talked about how they do it in their family, when the kids know how much goes into their savings, and they have a say as to which stocks to buy and sell.  It’s daunting to think that your child will have reasonable  “control” over his or her money at an early age, but it’s also impressive.  As parents, we can learn so much through this process  (It assumes of course that you’ve first put good solid responsible heads on their shoulders!).

Rose also presents each of her kids their own Balance Sheets and Financial Statements so that they see their net worth on a monthly basis.  That’s pretty amazing.

The other concept that struck me was when Rose said we should pay ourselves first.  Instead of using the the formula “Income – Expenses = Savings”, she said to start doing “Income – Savings = Expenses”.  How that would work was a basic question we all asked, as we know, when it comes to raising children, we never run out of expenses.  Rose simply stated it’s all about mindset and attitude.  “If you pay yourself first, you will find a way to make it work out in the end.”  Another good habit to teach our kids now!

A Cartoon Network Study showed that 60% of kids say they spend ALL the money they get!  Uh oh.

A Cartoon Network Study showed that 60% of kids say they spend ALL the money they get! Uh oh.

Savings includes teaching them to plan for the future, something that easily put off because we tend to get so caught up in living out the present (read: accumulating expenses).  And these can be done through different financial instruments as well – from stocks,  insurance, bonds to a retirement fund.  It’s not just about setting aside, but also investing in growth.  It depends whichever ones you are comfortable with and whichever ones (you feel) are aligned with your family’s core values and the goals you set for your future.

Thank you AXA for sponsoring such an enlightening talk, and helping the #SoMoms on our course to becoming #BetterMe’s.

My Mommyology Axa Banner Ad

Join today! Just click on the picture and follow the easy instructions!

Incidentally, AXA is running a raffle promo on their Facebook Page, from now until August 30.  You could win a variety of prizes, from an Annual Gymboree Membership, some National Bookstore GCs, and  Yamaha Music Lessons just to name a few.  The Grand prize is a trip for 4 to Legoland Malaysia!  Just click on the link and follow the easy steps to submit your entries.

Follow AXA on Twitter at @FailProofPH.

July 29, 2013
by mymommyology
2 Comments

How A Washing Machine Can Work Alongside Progressive Parenting

Last week I had the privilege of speaking at the Electrolux launch of their latest washing machine called the Time Manager (thank you again Mommy Mundo for the referral!).  I was asked to give a 15-minute presentation on laundry care tips from a mom’s perspective.

My first instinct was to draw from the four years we spent in Chapel Hill.  I did become a mom there, and using the washing machine on a regular basis became second nature to me during that time.  There was no one else too; my husband was in school and before Sam I was generally alone at home.  And in a traditional setting, it is really the mom (or the woman) who handles the chores.

My Mommyology on Laundry

These images capture it all so completely!

I’d used washing machines before then when we’d travel out of the country, but I always took the experience for grantedIt was only when I had to rely on myself for a clean home day in and day out was when I learned to appreciate the value of the said machine.   And, as I told the bloggers and the Electrolux team,  it was a non-negotiable necessity that I gave my husband before I agreed to move back to Manila.

I can safely say “tools” like the washing machine make our lives as multitasking moms much much easier.  More than that though I knew that with the finite number of hours in a day, I had to make time for the kids despite the chores.  When Sam — and eventually Jamie — rolled into my life and into my daily routine, I had to be efficient and effective:  get the job done while giving them quality time and attention.

So in turn, I used some of the chores as tools for our quality bonding time.  The laundry for instance:  Who would’ve thought that it could be fun and educational for kids too?

Get your kids involved in the chores!

Get your kids involved in the chores!

Sam loved to be Mommy’s Little Helper and so laundry was one of the things I got her involved in at an early age.  Through it she learned to sort by size and by color.  She learned to pair socks together.  She even learned by the age of two how to put her clothes in the correct laundry hamper when they were dirty.  On some days, it was just a game — who could put in more clothes first?  Who could take out more clothes first?!  Sometimes the nice clean clothes served as a place to hide toys, and Sam would dive in and be part of the (clean) laundry and dive in and find it.

Pretending to be a part of the laundry and finding clean buried treasure.

Pretending to be a part of the laundry and finding clean buried treasure.

Sometimes the girls also just enjoyed the ride in the laundry basket.  We’d play pretend a lot during these times and that’s all good for the imagination.  Who needs toys? 😉

Two Tots in a Laundry Basket

Two Tots in a Laundry Basket

And sometimes, it was just fun to toss laundry into the air.  But hey – those are gross motor skills and hand-eye coordination skills right there!

I realized how sometimes the responsibility of laundry is also overlooked here because a lot of households have helpers to do it for them.  Sometimes I like doing it still because in the (distant) future, they’ll have to learn as well.  Why not make it a fun memory for them early on so that it doesn’t feel like a chore?

I shared all of these thoughts with the bloggers alongside some practical tips for laundry care and washing machines.  The #SoMoms also pitched in and gave some of their own, and I thank them for that.  Here were some of the favorites:

  • Set aside 1-2 days a week as laundry days.  No need to do laundry everyday;
  • Pre-treat all the stains with a gentle stain remover;
  • Invert the clothes prior to throwing them into the wash so that the prints don’t wear out as fast;
  • Unbutton all the buttons so that there’s less resistance when the swishing motion happens;
  • (Conversely) Knot together the opposite ends of drawstring clothing so that it doesn’t come undone;
  • Avoid over-stuffing the laundry machine and leave enough room for the clothes to move;
  • (Contrary to popular habit), Place underwear in a laundry bag so it can go into the washing machine too, instead of painstakingly being handwashed;
  • Start with the load of the babies first.  I personally always believed that it would be at the least risk of accummulating any residue from the adults’ clothes (which are technically dirtier and have more potential for being soiled); 
  • Use a setting that’s one down from what the garment’s tag recommends (the premise is that you’ve pre-treated any stains before that anyway); and
  • Teach the household help how to use the machines and how to read the labels.  Quiz them if necessary to make sure they completely understand.

 

The Time Manager and it's cool buttons up close.  There's even a favorites setting that you can go back to with just one press!  The mom nerd in me is on overdrive.

The Time Manager and it’s cool buttons up close. There’s even a favorites setting that you can go back to with just one press! The mom nerd in me is on overdrive.

After my brief portion, the Apple, from the brand management team presented the Time Manager’s functions and benefits alongside a live demonstration.  Then and there I fell in love with this washing machine!  It hit the sweet spot of the mommy-nerd in me.  These are some of the reasons why:

  • The Time Manager is intuitive.  It has several settings which can help you determine the perfect cycle and detergent recommendation for the load that you put in.  For instance, the machine has a “Refresh” setting, which can be used for clothes that were just stored for a long time but not necessarily dirty.  The Refresh wash only takes 15 minutes, and you don’t need to use an entire wash cycle;
  • It’s a front-load machine, which apparently requires the use of LESS water.  I just learned that for top load machines (where the lid is on top), all the clothes need to be completely submerged in water for it to be effective as the swishing movement is quite limited.  On the other hand, the water from the front load machines only needs to hit the halfway point since the movement is more circular and the clothes are “tossed” around more.  COOL!;
  • The Time Manager is also efficient.  It has a delay-start function which is useful if you have multiple chores outside the house that day.  For instance, you know you’re leaving in the morning but won’t be back until late afternoon.  You can load the Time Manager with clothes before leaving, stick in the detergent and the fabric conditioner in their compartments, set the settings you want, and then set the time you want the wash to start (say, an hour before you plan to arrive?).  That way, the clothes don’t stay stagnant and damp for long, and you are still able to multitask!  Isn’t that neat? :); and
  • It’s biggest feature is what they call the Vapour Action, which essentially relaxes the fibres and steams out the wrinkles in the clothes after the final rinse.  That way, it also cuts down on the amount of time for ironing (The chore I hate the most!)

There are other reasons too — but it might be best to go and visit the nearest appliance store and see this wonder machine for yourself.  Because after that launch, I really really want one in my home (I’m not kidding).  I’m sure there’s a lot the girls and I can learn from it too! 🙂

July 23, 2013
by mymommyology
2 Comments

P is for Pritchon!

Have you ever seen a pig smile back at you?!  Well, here’s one.

He's happy to delight your tummy!

He’s happy to delight your tummy!

This is a deep-fried suckling pig that satisfied our growling tummies during the #SoMoms #BetterMe #Session with Coach Pia.  Tito Charlie, of Charlie’s Pritchon, and his wonderful wife Tita Dina brought him over.  He (the pig) seemed happy to be there.  Well – we were happy to have him.  Many of the SoMoms are current fans of Charlie’s Pritchon, and so it was only fitting that we asked him to tell us the story of how the Pritchon Corporation came to be.

The concept of a hot-deep fried pig came to Tito Charlie one day eleven years ago when they were stuck in traffic.  Instead of the usual roast pig that Filipinos are used to (a typical Filipino special occasion cuisine), Tito Charlie experimented with deep-frying the entire pig.  Two weeks later, Tita Dina dreamt that her late mom told her to wrap the cut up fried pig in pita wedges and serve it with several sauces.  And it was then when Charlie’s Pritchon was born.  (Incidentally, the winning combination of sauces as Tito Charlie had prepared for me was a mix of the honey mustard, garlic and a dash of the chili.  Soooo good!)

Tito Charlie, the different sauces and the sliced pig wrapped in Pita.

Tito Charlie, the different sauces and the sliced pig wrapped in Pita.

Tito Charlie actually developed and patented the fryer as to where the pig is cooked.  So much so, over the years they’ve gotten it down to a perfect, delectable science.  When you call them for catering, they make two trained servers accompany the pig and cut it just as the food is ready to be served so that the pig doesn’t get cold and the skin chewy (makunat).  It’s important that the skin stays crispy.  I can vouch for the fact that of the times I’ve had pritchon, I have to say that it has always maintained its crispy, crunchy state.

Everyone in Tito Charlie’s family got into the business over the years.  My brother’s girlfriend (Tito Charlie’s eldest daughter) could chop up the happily fried pig better than some of the other servers as young as 10 years of age.  I have just recently learned of this skill of hers, and so the next time she comes over I’ll make her show me. 😉

A small pig can serve a party of 25 people which is quite affordable if you think about their pricing.  Tito Charlie has said though, that depending on the group’s appetite, they’ve had customer orders of one whole pig for less than 10 people, and they reportedly consumed the whole thing!  Therefore, I do suggest that when you give them a call for an order, give them a gauge of your total guests’ general appetite size instead of the real number of people in attendance. 😉  Seriously though, it’s a great addition to special occasion celebrations as well as everyday regular meals.  We Pinoys are quite fond of eating anyway, there’s always a good reason to serve pritchon. 🙂

They also have several other items on their menu too.  That Saturday we were treated to some ultra delicious paella.  Surprisingly it complimented the pritchon quite nicely.  I never thought I could pair the two together.  I would happily do so again, really and truly.

Yumyumyumyumyum.  And here's their flyer in case you want to call them ASAP!

Yum-yum-yum-yum-yum. And here’s their flyer in case you want to call them while reading this…

They’ve also expanded their range to include Pritchon Salad, PritchoPabo (Turkey wrapped in Pita Bread and served with various sauces), and for the health-conscious some Veggie Wraps.  Charlie’s Pritchon only needs a day in advance notice (except over the holidays when things can get busy!).  One can order online on their website, or give them a call.  Most of their information is also found on their Facebook page too, so be sure to take a peek.

More than anything, you can tell that Charlie’s Pritchon delivers quality food and service because the owners continue to be very hands on.  Tito Charlie and Tita Dina take on orders and still oversee deliveries.  They interact with customers and ask for feedback to make sure that everything continues to go well.  They came to personally deliver our food to us and interacted with all the SoMoms and answered every question that we had.  They truly take care of their customers in every sense of the word, and that’s always a heartwarming… all the way down to the full and satisfied belly!

 

July 22, 2013
by mymommyology
4 Comments

Today’s #BetterMe Lesson: Break Free from Negativity

We play many roles and wear many hats.  This has become more and more obvious to me in the last few months in Manila, let me tell you honestly.  Wife, mother, employer, partner, in-law, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, blogger, supplier … it feels like there’s always so much happening, and there is no sense of peace and calm.  Something is pulling me in one direction or another and I find I’m always overworked, tired, cranky and stressed.  It’s really not the best way to live out life on a daily basis, particularly with kids around.

As Life Coach Pia Acevedo-Nazareno made the #SoMoms reflect one Saturday morning (during our second #BetterMe session), if I strip away all of the roles I play in my life, who am I?

Who am I really?  And more importantly what do I value?  Coach Pia asked us to prioritize the four things we value and one by one she slowly took away each piece of paper, until we were left with one.  I looked at it and asked myself why I chose to keep that.  I found it quite hard to choose which one to let go of first, because to me they were all important.  And yet it hit me:  I realized if I just prioritized the value on the last piece of paper that I held onto, it would affect everything else that I let go of.  That was quite a powerful realization of how I should be living my life out.  Furthermore as a mother, it’s important (imperative?) to be able to live out my personal values as an example to my kids.  It becomes increasingly important because both are girls and they emulate me more than I know.

The take-away from the values exercise we did.

The take-away from the values exercise we did.

The topic of our session was Building Healthier Relationships.  Essentially the main take-out was:  The quality of my personal relationships is determined by my ability to live out my personal values.  How aware am I that I am living this out on a daily basis?  I have to keep asking myself that.  How do you know if you’re aware of your APV (or Awareness of Personal Values), or are living out your personal values ?  Here are some daily indicators:

  • You’re not judgmental of others’ feelings, thoughts or actions;
  • You have and observable state of patience and restfulness;
  • You have low stress levels; and
  • You have an observable behavior of nurturing self and others.
A slide that makes you pause and think.

A slide that makes you pause and think.

The other good thing is that Coach Pia always leaves us with concrete and practical steps to moving towards this healthier state.  Healthier relationships actually stem from being rid of Negativity in my life (and as a mom “in transition”, I can see there is a lot of that in my life!).  There are three points to note:

Ultimately the goal is to have healthy relationships in all the 5 Aspects of one’s life:  Self, Family, Work, Social Life and One’s Sense of Purpose.  It’s important to start by taking a look at how inflated or deflated these 5 balloons are and identify concrete steps to take from there.  Again:  Are my personal values reflected in each of these five aspects of my life?  There is much for me to do, and much to think about.

This is a slide you'll see in all of Coach Pia's seminars.  The circles are balloons - how "inflated" or "deflated" are they?

This is a slide you’ll see in all of Coach Pia’s seminars. The circles are balloons – how “inflated” or “deflated” are they?

Coming home to Manila has been a hard transition.  I still find that it is on a regular basis, and I know I’m far from the kind of life that I want for me and my family.  There’s a lot for me to work on and I do realize that one of the largely deflated balloons in my circle of five is myself and my sense of purpose.  I have to work at detaching myself from my role as mom (largely inflated) and build towards having healthier relationships in the other parts too.

I’ve started limiting my interactions (or cutting of altogether, as much as I can), with the people who bring out the negative energy in me.  If they don’t make me feel like a better person, then I shouldn’t make time for them.  It’s not easy, especially because sometimes I’m expected to be around them.  But Coach Pia is pretty clear about how to handle this, and all I need to do is practice.

It also starts with clearly knowing what I value and prioritize and living them out.  Everything else will follow.  Thankfully I’m now more self-aware and conscious about these things that I confidently say I’m taking  (baby) steps in the right direction.

Trusted Partner for Quality Healthcare.

Trusted Partner for Quality Healthcare.

Slowly but surely it is getting easier to accept being back home.  I will say that a lot of it has to do with what I’ve learned from these seminars that are so generously sponsored by Unilab.  It’s great to find companies that believe in such a cause, because ultimately it affects the kind of society we live in and what we aim to build for our kids.  By showing such support for life-changing talks such as these, they’re really living out their core values.

I’ll be the first to say that I’ve a long way to go.  But that’s the good thing about these #sessions.  I’m more conscious and I know I’m definitely working towards being a #BetterMe.

Thank you as always Unilab!

Thank you as always Unilab!

July 18, 2013
by mymommyology
3 Comments

Sam the Waif Muse

Last Thursday was quite the busy and tiring day if I remember it correctly.  Sam didn’t have school and so after we dropped Jamie off, we went on our Mom-Sam breakfast date.  She was so cute – she purposely didn’t eat breakfast because she knew we had time that morning.  Afterwards it was a mad dash to some meetings and when I got home in time for their swim lessons, the girls asked me to swim.  I’ve been having a lot of mom-guilt lately so I complied, even if my body was aching and tired from a previous exercise.

Then, we made a mad dash over to SM Megamall and braved the rush hour traffic because I had promised Sam we’d attend the opening of my aunt’s exhibit.  Yes, I pretty much do anything for my kids.  This was out of our usual routine since it’s normally an early dinner and bedtime for the girls but we made the exception for this special occasion.

Sam loves painting and wants to be a painter someday like her Nona Migs.  I’m so glad she loves art, and that we have Nona Migs to help fuel that interest in her.

Nona Migs is better known as Migs Villanueva.  She is the creator and painter of our living room’s centerpiece, one we all love, because it is of Sam and Jamie.

The centerpiece in our living room.

The centerpiece in our living room.

It was her 4th one-woman show last Thursday at Galerie Francesca, entitled Paraphrasing Memory.  It was quite surreal looking at all the images.  I can’t put it into words, but from the feel of her work the exhibit’s title makes sense.

This is Nona Migs, her book and her beautiful paintings.

This is Nona Migs, her book and her beautiful paintings.

Sam loves looking at the paintings and making stories out of it, and identifying the people she knows in it.  She pointed to the one of the two girls in blue and green and said that was her and Jamie.  That was actually my most favorite of all too, for the same reason.  Most often when Tita Migs opens an show, it’s already sold out.  That’s how good she is.  So to whomever owns that painting of the two girls… Let’s talk! 😉

More from the gallery.  Go visit and see for yourself!

More from the gallery. Go visit and see for yourself!

Her work is beautiful, and you can feel that each one is made with a lot of heart.  She’s made a distinct impact in the artistic world already in such a short span of time.  Everyone talks about her unique point of view and distinct style, and when people see it they know that it’s a Villanueva.  In fact, the painting that hangs in our home often catches every visitors’ attention.  They get wide-eyed and enthusiastic and ask where we got it or how.  I humbly (but proudly) say that it was a gift, and that we’re very lucky to own such a piece.  In fact, my husband keeps the plastic over it in fear that Sam or Jamie, in their “inspired artistic states”, will decide to add to the painting when we’re not looking!

That Thursday Tita Migs also launched her book entitled Waif.

Nona Migs and Sam

Nona Migs and Sam, with her very own signed copy of the book.

I didn’t know what it meant until Tita Migs explained that she took inspiration from orphaned children.  According to Wikipedia, orphaned children left to fend for themselves, are commonly literature protagonists.  Through Tita Migs’ work, they’ve actually become artistic protagonists too.  Incidentally, the book is on sale at Gallery Francesca for P1,500.  It’s a great way to own a copy of Tita Migs’ work, and to understand the inspiration behind her previous pieces.

When the curator of the gallery announced that Tita Migs was open to signing copies of her book, Sam didn’t hesitate.  She stood patiently in line with the rest of them and picked up a book for herself.  She told Tita Migs, “please write to Sam and Jamie.”  We got a copy for my mom too, since she’s been wanting to own some of Tita Migs’ work.  That night every purchase of the book garnered buyers a raffle stub, for a chance to win one of 10 of Tita Migs’ water-colored Waifs.

Sam refused to leave and to secure the length of her stay, she walked over to Tita Migs and stood by her side.  Tita Migs was happy to have her volunteer as an assistant to the raffle draw.  As a result, Sam is in practically every official photo of each of the winners!  People were calling her the Waif muse, which she was quite ecstatic to be.  When the gallery curator asked Sam if that was her in the painting, she immediately said “yes!”

Quite fortunately for us, Sam drew a stub, looked at me and called out my name.  Yay!  We had won yet another priceless Villanueva piece! 🙂

That's our raffle prize! :)

That’s our raffle prize! 🙂

If you ask Sam who the three girls in the painting represent, she says it’s “Me, Mama and Jamie.”  Good enough. 🙂

On our way home (when I was finally able to wrangle her away), Sam said she had so much fun.  She also told my Mother-in-law that she was going to start working on her own painting exhibit already, so that she could also hang her work the next time Tita Migs had a show.  🙂

 

Time to go and see it!

Time to go and see it!

Tita Migs’ Paraphrasing Memory 4th One-Woman Show will be at the Galerie Francesca, Festival Mall beginning July 21.  I seriously recommend you check it out.  It’s worth breaking the usual routine for.

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