I’m alive!!!!! Hello blog-o-sphere! By golly gosh… I have missed you (I have missed writing here…), it is beyond words!
It’s been over 6 weeks since I’ve last been able to put up a decent post, I know. It’s gotten to that point where people have written and come up to me and asked me if I had let this blog go. Let’s set the record straight right now: I definitely have every intention to keep writing here! My Mommyology if anything, is my own therapeutic outlet, and proof that I have given myself some precious, much-needed me time. I suppose it goes without saying that I haven’t had a lot of that lately! Haha. All with good reason though, as I am about to go into that now.
It’s been hectic and busy, to say the least, as our little family is making a big, life-changing move. We are packing up our things and moving out of Chapel Hill (Cue the tears!). 🙁
Ironically enough I haven’t even found the time to really sort out the 25 million different emotions that have been running through me on a daily basis. Not to mention, a lot of my energy already goes to caring for the daily needs of the two girls, so I feel “spent” at the end of every day. I think I’ve just been on autopilot mode, packing up things and putting them into boxes, selling off items and giving away stuff. Apparently there is so much to do when you move a family to a different home! I’m surprised that I didn’t accidentally pack myself into one of those boxes. Or, maybe I have, I don’t know! 😉
It’s overwhelming to say the least. All of this is happening to someone like me, who isn’t very good at accepting big changes with open arms. It takes a while for things to grow on me and I have to consciously make an effort to find the positive in the situation. A lot of my apprehensions are from the fact that I’ve never been a mom outside of Chapel Hill, and I wouldn’t even know where to begin to change or adjust. I’ve spent the last four years defining my version of motherhood to my girls, and yet it feels like I will need to start from scratch once more. It’s one entire new experiment in itself!
I’ve never really moved homes much in the course of my life. I moved out of my first home when I got married, but I could always go back to it whenever I wanted to, so I felt that didn’t count. Then my husband and I moved into our first apartment, but it was also furnished and we knew that was a temporary set-up from the get-go, so I didn’t invest myself emotionally into it as well. Then we came here to Chapel Hill, and I think I was overcome with excitement since it’s always been something I’ve wanted to do (try living out of my home country). Within the 4 years we spent here, we moved apartments twice, but all within the same compound and everything else stayed the same. So I am still grasping at straws for where to categorize this upcoming change.
Of course there is also that element of excitement as to what the future holds for us and how this will help shape it. I try to hold on to my New Year’s resolution of just going with the flow and letting things play out. It’s not very easy, but I suppose there is no other way around it.
A lot of the people who’ve done this before me have told me that if there is anything to expect, it’s really the fact that it will be an adjustment. There’s nothing bad nor better about it, it will all just be different. The term “trade-offs” comes into the conversation a lot, so it’s also just coming to terms with what you (me rather) are willing to forego and what changes you can live with. Once you’re settled and adjusted it will all be fine, but it is just crossing over and getting to that point. I know we’ll (We’ll me again really) eventually get there, but it’s the in between gray space that I’m worried about.
I suppose we will just have to wait and see how things play out. I still do believe that everything in life happens for a reason. I may not completely understand why it happens when it happens, but I hope and pray to be able to someday. In the meantime, I will just take it one day or one moment — and one box — at a time!
What does this move mean for my blog? After all — the essence of it is motherhood away from home in Chapel Hill. Well — to be quite honest, I don’t have a concrete answer to that just yet. I suppose it will just have to evolve along with me, and we’ll all just have to see how it plays out. Will you tag along for the ride? 🙂