My Mommyology

Learning from Motherhood.

April 3, 2011
by mymommyology
19 Comments

The Little Gym vs. Gymboree: A My Mommyology Review

A few months ago we enrolled Sam in a Little Gym class.  My husband started coming to the sessions with us because I couldn’t carry Sam through a lot of the activities as part of our turn-over of Sam responsibilities.  Yet after watching several sessions, he felt that it was no different from the Gymboree classes we used to attend.  I on the other hand, having done the research and the classes (and once upon a time, I did teach part-time in Gymboree), see the difference.  As a spectator it’s easy to assume the similarities, but having done both, I feel I can give you a glimpse of their differences for your benefit as well.

My Mommyology Gymboree

Note the eager student in the middle of the mat.

Gymboree Play and Music. The premise of Gymboree I believe is to learn through play.  A lot of the Play Class activities involve building imagination and creativity, first and foremost.  The physical and motor development that you can get from the different equipment set-ups (that change every 2-3 weeks), I feel is something that comes as a natural consequence from all the activities.  Then there’s the use of the playful colorful Gymbo mascot, which makes it very entertaining and kid-friendly.  Who doesn’t love kisses from Gymbo the clown?

When Sam was younger we would attend the Play and Art classes.  In particular she loved the parts of the class where they play with the parachute, bubbles and then sing and dance with Gymbo.  We used to go as well for the free play sessions, where as a member you’re entitled to use the equipment outside of class time so she could run around and explore.

I feel that Gymboree’s disadvantage is the inconsistent quality of the teachers.  While I have seen and participated in classes led by really great teachers, in general I feel that a lot of the other teachers are not as experienced with the children as they should be (here in Chapel Hill as well as in Manila).  I myself was allowed to teach without any child development requirements (though I hope that I still did my students justice!) which is something I would expect of teachers in developmental classes.  Don’t get me wrong, I was glad to have been hired!  As a mom though investing in my daughter’s development, I feel strongly about the teacher being able to teach both the children and the parents.  I would want the teacher to add value to my child’s life, and be able to tell me why this activity or that activity is better for her at this stage in her life (and what we can do at home to further supplement this).  That of course, is just my personal thought and opinion on the matter. 🙂

My Mommyology Little Gym

Attempting a barrel somersault

The Little Gym. The Little Gym  uses parachutes, music and bubbles in their classes too, however I believe the main difference is that they aim to develop motor and social skills founded on gymnastics (ie physical development comes first).  The “play equipment” alone is composed of balance beams and trampolines, which is very very different from the set-up found in Gymboree.  In the class that we attend, the teacher educates sets up groundwork for skills like forward rolling, balancing and swinging on bars, and teaches the parents as well how to properly spot your child.  The creativity portion comes in the games associated with some physical skills.  The Little Gym also promotes independence more, because after a certain time they encourage the parents to stand back and let the children learn the skills on their own.  Eventually the goal is to get them to classes where the parents aren’t as involved in the actual session.

With respect to the teachers, I feel that they are a little bit more trained and experienced — well, they would have to be if they’re teaching gymnastic skills.  The teacher in our class demonstrates the skill of the week (which gives me a little bit more confidence that she knows what she’s talking about).  The other thing I like about the teaching staff at the Little Gym that we go to would be how involved I feel the teacher is in Sam’s individual development.  The fact that we have an action shot sent via email or even a questionnaire that I filled out about what skill we’d like them to focus on, makes me as a parent feel like they really want to ensure Sam gets the most out of the program.

My only complaint is that outside the class we attend, there is no opportunity to use the equipment as a form of “free play”.  This makes it difficult to reinforce the skills Sam learns in class because when we come home, there’s no high bar for her to swing on.  So it’s taking a while for her to appreciate what she learns and become comfortable with it.

Over-all I would say that I would still use Gymboree for younger children (maybe until age 3 when they start exhibiting certain specific interests).  Starting out at Gymboree worked well for us because it was a friendly, baby-safe environment where Sam could build her muscular strength and social skills.  We moved onto Little Gym because I noticed she would rather climb and jump and roll on the Gymboree equipment, instead of participate in the actual class activities.  Plus, she started pre-school where some of their activities overlap.  Now at the Little Gym, she happily tries to copy the teacher when the skills are introduced.  As a younger member of the class though (their bracketing differs from Gymboree where she would always end up as one of the older ones), she still needs my help in trying things out.  I’m not too worried because I feel later on the independence will come.  We’ve noticed she’s gotten good at jumping (or bouncing), balancing, climbing and doing all sorts of physical activities without any fear.  In a way, The Little Gym develops a different aspect of skills but at the same time, still compliments the things she can get from school.

Going to Gymboree with Sam for a time was (and still is) fun because it was also all about bonding and strengthening our relationship.  Now at the Little Gym, where (slowly but surely) she is learning to do things on her own, I realize what a little big girl she’s turning out to be (sniff!).

April 1, 2011
by mymommyology
2 Comments

Snuggle-Sam Time

Up until a few weeks ago (before Jamie), Sam and I had quality time on Fridays.

My Mommyology Snuggle Sam

When we read this, Sam says that's mommy dog and Sam baby dog (or Jamie baby dog).

Now as we are trying to establish our new routine with Jamie in the picture, sometimes Sam-mommy quality time is hard to come by.  I’d have to say though, considering the major change in her life, she’s actually been doing well for a two-year old.  There are the occasional and understandable tantrums and cries for attention, but other than that she seems to be adjusting quite nicely to her role as big sister.  She doesn’t complain when her little sister needs quality time with me too (which is a lot at the moment).

I miss my alone-time with Sam though.  Of course I love the quality time I have with Jamie too, and the bonding time I get with both girls.  This is all very new to me though, so I am trying to work through my own hormones and emotions.  It was after all, 27.5 months of just Sam and me.  I can only imagine that if I feel it, then she must be feeling it too.

That’s why on some nights after I feed her, I ask my husband to take Jamie so I can sleep beside Sam and get some precious good ol’ snuggle-Sam time.  I make sure she’s fast asleep, so as not to ruin any sleep-training efforts before I curl up beside her.  I give her a little nudge so she knows I’m there.  Occasionally she stirs and hugs me (or my arm) back.  Most of the time it lasts for an hour, sometimes two, but regardless, I enjoy every second I can get.  It is still (one of) the best feelings in the world!

Sam recently came up to me, hugged me and said “oooo!  I love to snuggle with you mom!”  My my, for a 2-year old, she just knows the right things to say!

March 30, 2011
by mymommyology
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KK: My Favorite Baby Bible (part 2)

My favorite piece of trivia from KK our doula:  She can tell if a baby was born vaginally or via c-section just by changing their onesie.  “It’s because the act of putting the onesie over and through the baby’s head reminds them of their passage through the birth canal, and it is traumatizing enough to make them cry,” she says. “Babies born via c-section don’t have that same sensation, so more often than not they won’t react when a onesie goes over their head.”

To continue the post about some of the things I’ve learned from KK, here are a few more snippets from the conversations we’ve had.

My Mommyology Swaddling Babies

DUDU -- the acronym for the proper swaddle according to Dr Harvey Karp.

On Swaddling and Soothing and all those other S’s. KK lent us the DVD of Dr. Harvy Karp’s Happiest Baby on the Block to teach us about the 5 S’s as to how to soothe babies, colicky or not.  Swaddling in particular was something we learned wasn’t bad or constricting, and after two girls we’ve learned to appreciate its value.

  • Use 40″ x 40″ swaddle blankets (in Manila the pranela tela is best) for best fit.
  • White noise — because it sounds like the mom’s digestive system — helps soothe them too.  So bathroom vents, kitchen vents, hairdryers on cool… yes they all work.
  • There is no such thing as holding a baby too much in the first 3 months.  We Filipinos particularly believe that we shouldn’t get them used to being held or carried too much as it will make our lives harder in the long run (and another book did say you should start as you mean to go along), but KK says in the first three months, babies need to be held as much as possible, so that they feel most secure.
  • Following the previous point, KK likes to wear babies.  By putting them to your chest, they learn to regulate their heartbeat in tune with yours.  That, and you have both hands free to do other things, too (which is how she gets everything done in 4 hours).  Of all the wraps she’s tried, KK is an advocate of the Baby K’tan wrap, and has taught me how to use it.  I am now re-considering my decision to actually get one for me.
  • As tightly as you swaddle them to put them to sleep, you must unswaddle them to wake them up to breastfeed, otherwise you may not get a fully awake baby and they will fall asleep in the middle of feedings.

My Mommyology - siblings

Borrowed photo of siblings from www.noblemother.com.

On Sibling Integration. KK has recently talked to me about managing the older sibling (and the new addition to the family), given our current situation.  “Imagine what it’s like,” she says, “if all your life it was about you, and then suddenly everyone is talking to you all excited about your new role as a big sister.  Day in and day out, that’s all you hear.  It can get pretty tiring.” That’s precisely why when she comes, we focus on me spending time with Sam as Sam, just doing her own thing, without any concern for Jamie.  She’s old enough to understand something different’s going on, but also still young enough to need attention that is just about her and no one else.

“It’s like a husband telling his wife — I love you so much and you make me so so happy, that I want another wife.  She’ll come home here, and you have to accept her and share me with her.  How would you feel if he did that to you?   In a way, that’s what you’re telling Sam with respect to Jamie.”

KK also says even from the beginning, it’s important to show both children that they are both important, and as such each one will have to wait their turn to get the proper attention they need.  “That’s not always easy to do, especially since the younger one can only cry.  But eventually they’ll learn.” I think this statement of hers makes me less frantic when I hear Jamie cry and I’m attending to Sam.  After all, when I’m attending to Jamie and Sam is crying, she too has to wait.

For all these and more, I am glad we have KK in our lives.  I could go on, but I think half of the learning is to actually work with her.  So if you do get the chance I would definitely tell you to go for it.  Her or other doulas like her who actually care for your family beyond their “scope of work” as we would say in the working world, can make all the difference.

KK is moving to Virginia later this year to be with her daughter and first grandchild, and will continue practicing her doula services there.  So those of you who will be near her, do look her up!

March 28, 2011
by mymommyology
15 Comments

KK: My Favorite Baby Bible (part 1)

Once again, KK is back in our lives. 🙂

I talked about KK briefly in a post about doulas and how she was a big big (BIG) help to us when Sam was born.  Naturally with Jamie, I jumped at the chance to work with her again, and specifically asked for her with Marcia of Triangle Mothercare.  While I’m sure Marcia’s doulas are all well-trained and highly capable, I probably wouldn’t have agreed to a contract if it wasn’t going to be KK.  It is always a treat to have her here.  Now I’m glad that Sam has taken to her too, even if we’re sure she doesn’t remember KK from way back when.

Apart from the physical help KK provides such as laundry, cooking (yummy yummy food!), picking up after Sam and of course, caring for Jamie so that I can get some rest, she takes time to teach me about newborn care.  One of the things I love about her is that she’s always reading up to keep herself and her techniques current, and “experimenting” on her theories as well (which is what My Mommyology is all about if you think about it). Actually KK has a lot of subjects to experiment with since she does this all for a living and can refine her theories as she goes along.  So I tend to believe her and do what she says.

Here are some of the lessons and tips she’s shared with me, both old (circa 2008) and new.  I have my own opinions about some of them and feel free to share yours as well based on your own observations and experiences!  (I will go ahead and divide this post into two parts so that we don’t risk information overload).

My Mommyology 90-Min Sleep Program

One of the books I learned from KK

On Natural Rhythms. KK introduced the 90-minute Sleep Program book to me when I was having trouble with Sam’s sleep patterns, and as I’ve mentioned in my sleep-training posts it did help us a lot.  KK operates around the babies’ natural rhythm to help you form a schedule that is doable for both the baby and the mom.

She says she has recently learned that newborns aren’t built with the 90-minute cycle yet, but actually start out with 30-minute cycles, that build to 45-minutes and then eventually get to 90-minutes as they reach 3-4 months.  So the challenge, she tells me, is getting a full feeding into the awake period of the 30-minutes, as well as a diaper change before the newborn falls asleep again.  Otherwise, another 30-minute cycle starts up and the baby may be tired but won’t be able to fall asleep, and that will result in major crying.  Eventually she says by following their natural rhythms, you can “schedule” (the term is used loosely since we still have to be flexible as newborns aren’t robots) feedings every 2-3 hours and know that between that, it’s about helping them get to sleep.

My Mommyology is Pro-breastfeeding

Doulas are pro-breastfeeding.

On Breastfeeding. One of the primary roles a doula takes on is to first and foremost establish a good foundation for breastfeeding.  I remember KK walking into the house three years ago with so much literature it made my Mommy mush brain (that’s what she fondly calls moms’ brains after they’ve given birth) spin.  Eventually though, it all made sense.  Here are some of the ones helpful to me:

  • There is nothing that cannot be cured by breastmilk (sore cracked nipples, a clogged baby tearduct and dry lips are a few of them — I know this for a fact).
  • Breastmilk trivia:  KK told me about this experiment where they put two petri dishes of breastmilk, one as a control and the other inoculated with bacteria.  After a certain amount of time, they discovered that both dishes were bacteria-free.
  • To build the milk supply, use the first three weeks for the baby to feed exclusively from you (ie no bottle-feeding).  If you need to pump, do it to express excess milk and keep the flow going but not to feed the baby just yet.
  • Babies will drink about 30% more breastmilk from you than any pump can express.
  • It’s important to shift the baby’s position during one full feeding on one side (from the traditional hold to the football hold for instance), so that you work all the milk ducts and they all continue to produce milk.  The ducts that are working the hardest while feeding are the ones where the baby’s chin points towards.  (Okay try to imagine this, and if you are breastfeeding try to observe it as well — the milk “let down” has a different sensation for both holds).
  • When burping the baby, an option is to hold them on your right arm slightly upright and turned towards you.  This gives their stomach a little bit more room to get the milk down and the air bubbles out and up, without much spit-up.  Holding them upright as often as possible also prevents them from developing reflux.

There’s more to be learned from KK!  Coming soon. 🙂

March 27, 2011
by mymommyology
0 comments

The Women Services’ White Board

My Mommyology UNC Women's Services Board

A good idea. Where else can we use this?

I felt it noteworthy to mention this one particular aspect of my postpartum care at the UNC Women’s Hospital.  I didn’t notice this the last time when we had Sam (although I may have been more oblivious to the world at that point given how high I might have been on the epidural post labor).

This white board (I assume) is a fixture in all the postpartum care rooms at the hospital.  It allows all your caregivers and your baby’s caregivers to check on concerns you may have, and ensure that all standard tests and procedures have been covered for the duration of your stay.

The staff at the hospital go on 12-hour shifts, so it also helps ensure a smooth transition and turn-over of your care to the next set of attendants.  And if you complete the first part of the information at the top, immediately when they enter they know your name, your baby’s name, and how old you both are, so they won’t keep asking you.  You’ll know them too, since the first thing they do when they enter your room is introduce themselves, and write down their name and their pager number on the board.

It’s a simple service innovation which I particularly found useful, especially with everything new going on around you.  I wonder if our hospitals in Manila have something similar?  And also where else something like this could come in handy?

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