My Mommyology

Learning from Motherhood.

April 14, 2011
by mymommyology
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Barney: A My Mommyology Review

My Mommyology Barney

Am on the fence about this bubbly purple dinosaur.

For twenty years I’ve been trying to put a finger down as to why I am not entirely a fan of Barney and his friends.  I first encountered him long ago when my brother was two and would watch every single episode constantly.  Now it’s one of Sam’s most requested shows (along with Sesame Street and Super WHY!) on a daily basis.  As TV is one of our best friends, I worry about the educational value she gets from it vis-a-vis the entertainment value it has.  So in true Mommyology fashion, I tried to research about this purple dinosaur and pinpoint exactly why (or why not) I should let Sam watch it still.

THE GOOD POINTS

Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination.  That is a line from the opening song and it’s true.  The videos that we watch go from castles to farms and all sorts of places, and so I feel it does in a way help build Sam’s imagination.  There’s no limit to where Barney and his friends can go.

Familiar songs. In a span of 45 minutes, there are at least 8-10 songs (including the endearing I Love You theme song that Barney always ends his shows with).  Some are very familiar songs too.  Watching it on Barney reinforces it in her mind.  Sometimes I’m surprised that she knows all the words to a Barney song and can sing it over and over.  They’re also very light and easy to remember.  Plus singing is a good way to learn for children, or so I’m told.

Some shows are educational. For instance, Barney Fun on Wheels is an episode that talks about the different kinds of transportation.  Sam loves this episode and I can see how it’s helped her appreciate planes, buses, trains and cars.  There’s another one with the colors of the rainbow and spelling out names that she loves, and yet another one about good lessons like truth and honesty and sharing via different stories (Dino-Tale I think is the name of the show).  Sam relates too what she sees in the real world to some of these shows and she can tell me exactly in which episode she’s seen it in too, “Just like in Barney mom!”

THE NOT-SO GOOD POINTS

Baby Bop. She’s the three-year old dinosaur that I find quite irritating in every aspect.  The tone of her voice, the things she loves and cares about, they all feel very trivial and shallow.  She also comes across as spoiled and bossy.  In several shows it’s as if she picks on her brother BJ by making him wear princess outfits or butterfly outfits.

Thankfully Sam doesn’t seem to like her as much either, apart from the fact that she dances ballet.

Low Production Quality. Okay, maybe this is something that two-year olds really don’t care about, but it bothers me and I’m half the audience too.  Sometimes Barney takes them out to sea, or to a different country as part of their adventure.  The problem is you can see that it’s “fake”.  The water is clearly a drawing (It’s more glossy than the characters), and obviously the boat is not real too.  Sometimes the people from other countries don’t have the proper look or accent either.

Scary-looking Guest Characters.  There are episodes where Sam watches the show and in the middle of it, she runs to me in tears.  It’s not often, but it does happen.  It’s as if the producers aren’t as picky in screening some of the adults on the show or they let the costumes run a little bit overboard.

Everything feels exaggerated — too happy and perfect. I found this critique on the wikipedia definition of Barney which I think resonates how I feel about it.  It reads: 

[H]is shows do not assist children in learning to deal with negative feelings and emotions. As one commentator puts it, the real danger from Barney is denial: the refusal to recognize the existence of unpleasant realities. For along with his steady diet of giggles and unconditional love, Barney offers our children a one-dimensional world where everyone must be happy and everything must be resolved right away.

I get that, because if I compare it to Sesame Street, while both are trying to be educational, Sesame Street deals with real problems and emotions.  Barney seems to be void of any major problems whatsoever.  And everyone just happily breaks into song and dance.

Also, I find the acting of the real people very fake.  While I know they are kids and they’re most likely told to project, it just feels they bob their heads a little too much, clap too much or giggle too much.  It becomes very unnatural and uncomfortable to watch.  Every time I see it I think about how these kids (now most likely fifteen years older) feel about their earlier performances.  Do they cringe in embarrassment?  Because I do!

SO WHAT NOW?

Moving forward I think I will just continue to monitor the Barney shows Sam watches.  While there may be no permanent harm or damage, and it is not a bad influence per se, I still feel better that what she learns is balanced out by other things and other shows.  We will keep Barney for occasional entertainment value in the meantime, (since we all have that in our lives in some shape or form), and hopefully soon she will move on to characters and shows that will do her a whole world of better.

April 10, 2011
by mymommyology
9 Comments

How I Survived the First Three Weeks as a Mom of Two (part 1)

We made it past three weeks.  Surprisingly I have not lost my mind (yet).  I haven’t even really had a hormonal postpartum breakdown (yet), and I’m wondering if it’s really because it is easier the second time around, or because — I’m just not as hormonal?  Or maybe because my expectations have changed knowing what I know now.  Even the husband is surprised that the Cranky Bear has not appeared… yet.

Our status:  I am a little more than barely breathing.  Thank God that both my girls are healthy and no complications arose with the delivery or with my recovery, and we were able to get back into the swing of things right away.  All things considered of course —  I was (am) still healing, my husband was on a pseudo paternity leave / work-from-home arrangement and my mom was around to entertain Sam.  To be fair to Jamie, she doesn’t demand much of anything either — except milk, an immediate change of diapers when dirty (my kind of girl!) and a tight swaddle or a warm body to sleep next to.

The apartment has never been messier that’s for sure, and I constantly wish I had an extra pair of hands on me to be able to multitask at will.  I daydream about 2-hour body massages and long for a good pedicure.  Yet in spite of all of these and the increasing sleep deprivation, I still feel it is manageable.  I dare say I’m having a bit of fun with it too!

How did I make it still sane this far?  The following is a list of what I think helped:

1.  Hire a doula. Seriously, KK or a postpartum doula is the best decision a new mother can make.  It is 4 hours of bliss.

2.  Say YES to everyone that offers food. I have the most generous friends in Chapel Hill!  Most showed up at my door with  full (and really delicious – I kid you not) meals for me and my family, keeping us all well fed.  I have not cooked since I started stuffing things in my freezer a month ago, and I have not used those either.  So I still don’t need to cook!  THANK YOU to our friends who have spoiled us silly!

My Mommyology Peggle

I'm a Peggle Master! Beat my score!

3.  Play Peggle. Okay, this may need some explaining.  Peggle is another Pop Cap game my husband discovered on his PlayStation3 a few months ago.  He downloaded the trial version for me, saying that I would enjoy it.  I didn’t believe him at first but as it turned out, I did enjoy it — so much that I downloaded it onto my iPhone and have been playing it ever since. I can just sit and play while rocking Jamie to sleep.  Yes, dishes need to be done or emails need to be sent, but sometimes, Peggle is all you really can do! 😉 (Give me a break – I just gave birth!)

4.  Be Less Self-Conscious. With Sam, I was very shy about breastfeeding her in public (even with a breastfeeding cover), or even at home when guests would come to visit us.  Now though, I realized that a barrage of people have seen me at my worst (ie when I was in labor), and so breastfeeding with a nice floral cover over me isn’t so bad.  That, and we can’t stay home all the time as Sam will go stir-crazy on me.  So now I find myself breastfeeding Jamie outside McDonald’s, at the playground and all these other public places.  Sometimes to my horror, Sam lifts the breastfeeding cover because she wants to see her sister.  But after a moment of shame I laugh it off instead of getting fully embarrassed like I used to.  I have no desire to flash in public, but what can you do with a curious 2-year old and an infant in need of nourishment.

My Mommyology Crying Baby

Exercise those vocal chords!

5.  Toughen Up. Before we would jump the instant Sam would cry or whimper.  But I guess now we know better — they survive every crying spell (and hey, it makes their lungs stronger).  Sometimes crying helps them drink a full side of milk, and makes them tired enough that they also sleep better.  So now when I stick Jamie in her carseat and she protests, I don’t panic anymore.  She also has no choice in the matter, since we need to get from point A to point B and we can’t leave her at home alone.  Also, Jamie and Sam sometimes cry at the same time and so one of them will have to wait until I finish attending to the other.

I don’t let them cry it out though, I’m not that tough. 🙂  But the crying is now more tolerable after learning how to deal with it in the last two years.

To be continued…

April 8, 2011
by mymommyology
0 comments

So Many Shoes for Such Small Feet!

Once upon a time I counted Sam’s pairs of shoes.  At the ripe old age of 2 years and 4 months, it appeared she already had 35 pairs of shoes to her name (not counting the shoe-socks and booties for newborns that are tucked away in the drawers).  To date, she’s outgrown about 31 of these pairs.  I think more than the baby clothing companies, the baby shoe companies like Stride Rite make a fortune off moms!  So we ask, WHY do we need so many pairs of shoes?

My Mommyology Shoe-socks

Great innovation, I must say.

1.  The cuteness factor. Even if they can’t walk yet, how can you not complete their outfit by putting them in a pair of shoes?  Subconsciously, isn’t it like you leaving the house barefoot?  Even if their feet will never touch the ground, you just HAVE to put them on.

There are even baby sized shoes for infants who can’t even turn over by themselves, much less walk.  You’d think —  Why would you need those? (Although yes, yes, I did buy some.  I was an excited first time mom happy to dress her live doll.  What do you expect?!)

2.  The growth factor. Baby-toddler feet grow so fast it’s unbelievable.  Someone once told me that most toddlers outgrow their shoes every two to three months.  That was true in Sam’s case — as I was packing away her old pairs (some styles were 2 of each, in two sizes), I realized that we did  buy them approximately 2 months apart.

3.  The seasons factor. We had to stop the use of sandals when Autumn and pre-school kicked in because she needed to be in close-toed shoes.  So we bought her a pair of Mary Janes and sneakers.  Then, a few months later for winter, we added boots to the repertoire (and a slightly larger pair of sneakers in the event #2 would kick in again).  The boots from last winter naturally didn’t fit anymore, and she only wore those two or three times at most!  Oh and yes, a furry pair of Crocs called Blitzens because she loved her old ones so much.

Now that the Spring rains are upon us, we need to consider rainboots.  I haven’t gotten far enough to think about summer yet.

4.  The gifts factor. Taking into consideration factors #2 and #3, some of our family members have opted to gift Sam with shoes instead of clothes.  So over the course of the month we’ve received a pair of Havaianas, Mickey Mouse Crocs, a new pair of white sandals and Punky Brewster looking sneakers that light up with every step.

My Mommyology Shoes

... they just keep adding and adding and adding...

5.  The fashion factor. For my husband’s graduation last May, I bought Sam a pair of slip-ons to go with her dress.  She’s only worn them once and they don’t fit anymore.

For the next special occasion, I am definitely not putting her in a dress and some pair of worn down shoes!

So the shoe count continues.  Mind you, they are not cheap investments.  Stride Rite and Pedipeds are generally in the $40 a pair price range though I’d have to admit they are the best, most comfortable pairs of shoes we’ve put on her, and I honestly do feel that is important with such little feet.

Sam LOVES shoes.  When we go to a shoe store she picks out a pair and sits down to remove what’s on her feet so she can try them on.  When she gets a new pair, she parades around the house with them, as if she got a new toy.  I wonder if that is a sign of a shoe-fettish to come?

I must also mention, the thirty-five pairs don’t include those we’ve borrowed and have already returned.  The shoe purchases we’ve made  (apart from the size 0 ones I snuck under my husband’s nose) were carefully debated upon by my husband and myself as to each pair’s necessity.  We looked for sale items and didn’t splurge on styles for her to wear.

Therefore… my dearest darling baby Jamie.  We’d like you to know, while we love you dearly, you most likely won’t be getting a new pair of shoes until the age of 3 (unless you are lucky and factors #4 and #5 work in your favor). 🙂

April 5, 2011
by mymommyology
1 Comment

You are Invited to the Two Tots Store Warming

See OC Mom’s article on the Two Tots’ store warming.

You are Invited to the Two Tots Store Warming.

Two Tots is a local furniture business started by moms ( I am proud to be related to them!).  They specialize in baby and toddler furniture, accessories and interior design, and all their items are of high quality too (because they use it for their own kids)!

If we lived in Manila, no doubt, my girls’ rooms would be Two Tots designed and accessorized!

Anyway, save the date for their Store Warming in Makati.  I’m sure you’d find things that you’d like for your kids (or kids of loved ones too).

Congratulations to Andie, Bea and Liza!

April 5, 2011
by mymommyology
9 Comments

The 2011 Labor & Delivery Story

So here it is.  If you haven’t read my previous Labor & Delivery Story, I would suggest you do to get a perspective of where this is all coming from.

EVERYONE was telling me to expect that:

  • Labor the 2nd time around would be much faster and much easier  (ie movement from 0-10cm dilation would go by so quickly that, while painful, would be bearable.  There may not even be time for an epidural!)
  • With second pregnancies, you may not even make it to your due date.
  • The baby may be bigger than your first, but not by a whole lot.

Here’s what I’ve learned:  NEVER BELIEVE IT! (Am I making this phrase popular or what.) Okay so maybe that’s an exaggeration.  You be the judge.

A much faster, easier labor?

At my March 11 check-up, I had already progressed to 2cm.  Given that I went from 0-9cm with Sam in a span of 9 hours, I figured, hey I’m having a baby tonight! And, while I could feel the contractions, I wasn’t in an unbearable state of pain.  So it was looking up.

You may not even make it to your due date!

March 16, Wednesday.  Three days overdue, I went back for another check-up.  But oh!  The good news, said Meg, was that I had progressed to 3cm since Friday!  (uhhhhhmmmmm….).  This was frustrating.  Why was it so slow?

In any case, Meg decided to strip my membranes and try and speed up my labor.  So again, anytime between tonight and Sunday.  Come in if your contractions are steadily 5 minutes apart for an hour, were the last things she said to my husband.

True enough, the contractions did progress.  They were regularly 7 minutes apart.  By Thursday at 2AM, they were 5 minutes apart, for an hour.  I woke up my husband asking if we should go to the hospital as Meg advised.  We debated this for a while because I was still fairly lucid, albeit uncomfortable.  We remembered what the midwives said about being in real labor before, so we were wondering if we really should go in already or just wait. They might just send us home, and I really really didn’t want that!

Against both our better judgment, we did go in to get checked.  “You’re still at 3cm“, Susan said with a sympathetic smile.  WHAT?!

They didn’t send us home, but we opted to leave anyway because given how slow everything was moving, it could still take days.  More than that, we were anxious about Sam, since she woke up as we were leaving and started to cry when she saw me going out the door.

For the rest of Thursday, I wasn’t in any pain I couldn’t handle, however it was highly uncomfortable to do much.  We tried all sorts of distractions and finally at 10PM, just as it was Michael Douglas’ turn to entertain us with Wall Street, the pain intensified.

At 2AM Friday, March 18 — I was huffing and puffing through it, and even Stephanie the midwife on the phone heard the difference in my voice.  Let’s go have a baby! She said. Hurray, finally.  My husband was trying to be nice during the car ride saying possibly that I was 6 or 7cm already, given I was huffing and puffing this way when I hit 9cm before with Sam.

My Mommyology Anesthesiologist Look-Alike

Why do we meet such men under such circumstances?

Again I am checked and Stephanie looks bewildered.  The contractions are regular and more intense versus yesterday, but (wait for it) – I had only progressed to 4cm!  We were all surprised, but nonetheless, Stephanie requests for my epidural and I am happily distracted by my Ben Affleck look-alike sound-alike anesthesiologist.

After two tries, they get the epidural in, but I can still feel some pain on my left side.  I’ve heard of this happening as well with a couple of friends, and the epidural is again adjusted, however in my case, they were worried about my scoliosis and wanted to try other methods first.  The pain anyway wasn’t unbearable, I just couldn’t sleep through it.

Three hours later with little progress since Ben, Stephanie orders Pitocin, again to speed up labor.  The shifts change and another set of nurses take over.  Jenny is now the midwife on-call.

My Mommyology Pitocin

It does work! And fast!

After an hour of Pitocin the pain on the left gets quite unbearable that I need ice chips and the already bruised arm of my husband by my side.  Jenny checks — we’re almost 10cm and it looks like this baby will come any minute.  FINALLY!  But with us this close, would I still want my epidural adjusted, they ask.  Doing so will prolong the process.  We decide against it — I am at that point when I just really want my baby in my arms.

The 2nd baby may be bigger than your first, but not by a whole lot.

At 1030AM, Jenny comes back in and asks me to start pushing.  I can still feel something, which she says is good so I know that I need to push through it.  In twenty minutes and after a terrible surge of pain that actually causes me to scream involuntarily (like they sometimes do in the movies — apparently it is not so much an exaggeration), Jamie is finally FINALLY out.  Apparently she had her hand up by her face too, so it was harder to get her out in one push.

She weighed 8 lbs,  3 ounces.  That’s at least 2lbs heavier than Sam.  It makes sense, Jenny says later, bigger baby takes longer.  But because you could still feel it, you did get her out in record time.

EPILOGUE

Each baby is different, and apparently so is each labor and delivery story.  For one reason or the other, I am always one of those cases that are against the standard what-to-expect pattern.  Now why is that?

There were no jokes about pain tolerance this time around.  My husband went home as well with more scratches and bruises because I had forgotten to cut my nails.  Oops.

I was completely sore for about 3 days, but started to function quite normally after that.  Unlike my last recovery, where they prescribed Ibuprofen for about a week after I gave birth, they had stopped all my medications right before I left the hospital.  Again I wanted to protest, but now in hindsight it did speed up my recovery.  And while the pain of those last 5 minutes is still fresh in my head, somehow the memory of it is also slowly fading away into something that doesn’t seem so terrible (it might also be a case of sleep deprivation).

So, thank you Midwives, for turning me into a tougher cookie in the course of three years and two babies.  And you are right, no one is pregnant forever.

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