My Mommyology

Learning from Motherhood.

December 27, 2011
by mymommyology
2 Comments

Merry Christmas from Manila!

I know that this post is three days late, but as we always say, better late than never!

So this is me, greeting everyone a belated Merry Christmas from traffic-filled, Christmas-filled Manila!  All Filipinos (aka Pinoys) know how much Christmas in Manila means to everyone, and what a big event it is for so many reasons.  A lot of overseas Filipinos (also called “balikbayans”, where BALIK means to return, and BAYAN means country) use this season to send home gifts or save up so that they can come home and be with family.  There is a lot of everything that goes around town for the holiday season.

There is a lot of traffic, as people tend to pile in and get together or go out more.  There is a lot of shopping too… we recently visited a newly opened Toys R Us in Rockwell Powerplant Mall and my GOODNESS.  I could not breathe with all the toys and all the people buying the toys.  I’m so glad we did our Christmas shopping early on during the Labor Day sale!

My Mommyology food food food

It never ends... (burp).

There is also a lot of eating.  Filipinos like to get together over food and drinks and a large part of our Christmas is spent preparing food for a lot of people.   You can imagine everyone that comes home for the holidays and all the excuses we have to see people and get together.  Particularly for my little family, since we have not been home since 2009 and no one has met Jamie up until this trip, then there are a lot of  “meals” set just for those reasons.  I can’t really complain because I do want to see everyone and catch up with everything that’s been going on around town, but  I tell you, I feel like I’ve done nothing else but eat.  Goodbye diet (Then again, I think shopping trips are a work out on their own!)

There is also a lot of great Christmas displays.  The town is well lit and well “decked”, shall we say for the holidays.  Sam sits in traffic and is not bored with the car not moving because of all the lights that she sees from the buildings and street posts.  A new discovery is the light show at the center of the Ayala Triangle (found in Makati, the Central Business District), that has Christmas lights which turn on and off to different Christmas musical medleys.  The shows begin at 6pm, run for about 7-8 minutes and then are repeated after approximately an hour’s time.  Sam loved it so much and has probably not seen anything like it in her entire life, and so she is asking us to go back.  Actually, for a free outdoor “show”, it’s not so bad if I do say so myself!

My Mommyology Light Show

Kumukutikutitap!

There is indeed an abundance of everything and a want for nothing.  Most especially there is a lot of merriment, a lot of reasons to celebrate and be thankful for.  Pinoys are particularly great at finding the happiness in the moment and toasting to the occasion.  In some ways it is tiring, and in others, it’s not something you would want to miss.  Of course I am glad that the kids are experiencing it in full force (as they say Christmas is for the kids and by golly!  you should see the amount of presents and the amount of attention they and their cousins are all getting!).  They are learning to deal with all the attention and to keep up with all the merriment as well.  Actually I think Sam is still a little shell-shocked with the amount of toys she received (and thank you to everyone who contributed to her overflowing happiness).

Ah yes.  There’s no Christmas like Christmas in Manila. 🙂

December 23, 2011
by mymommyology
10 Comments

The 33-hour Transcontinental Marathon

I always say that to get from our apartment in Chapel Hill to my mom’s or my in-laws’ home in Manila will take us a total travel time of 33+ hours.  It involves 3 plane rides that are broken down as follows:  a 1.5 hour trip into New York, a 13-hour flight to Tokyo Japan, and another 3-4 hour plane that will finally take you into Manila.  Of course there are two other car trips, 4 airports, 2 immigration checks and 2 security checks to maneuver through as well and depending on how well (or how badly those go), the 33 hours can stretch on. God forbid.

In any case, I tried to prepare myself for this trip as it would be the first transcontinental flight Jamie would take, and the first one with Sam in her own seat.  Even though we’ve traveled before using various means of transportation, it is always a different experience on the plane.  My husband was lucky; he flew a few days after us, and so instead my mom and brother helped me ship the girls home for the holidays.  But oh, to get here…!  What an adventure!

The night prior to leaving is always filled with last-minute checks and packing, and so I tried to get in as much sleep as possible a few nights before the big day.  As luck would have it, Jamie chose that week to be fussy and would not let me sleep for more than 2 or 3 hours a night.  I also had an event that was set to run two days after I had landed, and so the last-minute preparations were made days before I left.  All these activities cut my sleep-time down to 45 minutes the night before I had to get the girls up and out to the airport.  The first leg was fairly easy as it was the shortest, and because Sam was also quite excited about riding the plane.  That and, I had coffee in my system to keep me from konking out.

The 13-hour flight was of course the hardest.  Sam fought sleep for most of the way and by the 2nd hour on the flight she was bouncing up and down on her seat, bored out of her wits.  She repeatedly asked, “Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?” or “Has the plane landed yet mom?” approximately every 5 minutes.  She slept maybe 2.5 hours of it all, but other than that she was looking for something to do.  I think I let her play with the iPad for a total of 6 hours on and off, just to keep her from kicking the person in front of  her (and to keep my sanity).  She was though, in fairness, fairly well-behaved and did what I told her to; it’s just that she had a lot of energy in a confined space.  I had packed a bag full of toys and games for her to play, but then the novelty of everything in that bag wore off after about two hours.

Jamie had the hardest time of all.  I realize now that she is not a very happy traveler, and likes the comfort of her own home and her own bed.  She will cry in her carseat on 20-minute trips around town, and has trouble falling asleep in hotel rooms and new environments.  I had noticed that with our first trip to the beach, and then again when we flew to Washington D.C..  Naturally, I was trying to get her to fall asleep on the plane which had a lot of ambient noise and lights, and my normally easy-to-sleep baby could not stay asleep.  She also did not have any space she could call her own; and so I can imagine how tiring that must have been for her body to be on someone else’s lap or body the whole time.  She wanted me to stand a lot, which I could not do as often, thus, the constant crying and wailing.  My brother and my mom would try to relieve me from carrying her, except Jamie would not have it and would scream even louder.  When she was able to sleep, I could not sustain one specific position for long periods of time and so sometimes when I’d shift her she’d wake up and be mad about it too.

I once had a friend say that when you travel with an infant on the plane, be sure to bring ear plugs that you can hand out to neighboring passengers.  It helps them be more sympathetic with you and in a way, breaks the ice and limits the angry stares.  With all the things that we packed, I of course, once again, forgot the earplugs.

Then there were of course the necessary potty breaks (or else the accidents that I could not deal with!  So it was majorly stressful!), in the most unsanitary bathrooms in the world!  I tell you, I hate airplane bathrooms!  They are a necessary evil.  Thankfully Sam was fairly cooperative and did not need to go as often as I’d expected (I also refrained from giving her too much liquid and just gave her as necessary.  Then I focused on rehydrating her after we’d landed).

Naturally, because the girls did not really “sleep” on the long haul over, I was not able to sleep either and was still counting on my 45-minute shut-eye time from the night before.  It was getting to be increasingly difficult though!  Some moms (and doctors) often say that a teaspoon of Benadryl will go a long long way for both mom and child, but a part of me just can’t bring myself to drug my children unless they absolutely need it.  That plus, the last time that we flew with Sam and she did need the Benadryl, it took an opposite effect.  So that was not something I could afford to risk, not with both Jamie and Sam in hand!

Somehow we all collapsed on the 4-hour plane ride from Tokyo into Manila, which helped re-charge me a little to get by the next few nights of battling with the jet lag.  But still.  Traveling that long?  I have to tell you, it requires patience, endurance, and wit.  No amount of planning can prepare you for what’s in store I think, because it will depend on the disposition of the kids and how they react to their surroundings.  It is physically tiring no doubt, but more than that also mentally and emotionally draining.  Somewhat like a marathon, or so I’m told! 😉

The other half of the challenge is getting everyone back in one piece.  I am still so busy recovering from this leg (not to mention our little scare the other day which has set my nerves back some…), that I have not yet begun to think about it.  I know for sure though, that once we get back, traveling the 33 hours is not something I want to do again within the next 5 or 6 months!

What are your experiences and tips for long hauls such as these?  Would love to hear them!  And as my friend Christina says, we shouldn’t wish each other a “safe” flight, but a “sane” one! 🙂

December 21, 2011
by mymommyology
10 Comments

Barely Breathing

Whew!  What a week!

I apologize for not having blogged in the last few days (believe me, it has been on my mind), but being back in Manila after almost two years of being away, during the Christmas season no less, and combating jetlag, has actually kept me away from my computer.  The last couple of days have been a whirlwind of activities and I have yet to wrap my mind around a lot of what has happened.  I cannot believe the backlog that I have on this machine as well.

There are a few reasons as to why this post is entitled as such.  The first reason is because I have been eating so much that I am stuffed to my eyebrows.  Eating and no exercise — not the best combination in the world.  The second reason is because our social life is in full swing.  It being the holidays and all, of course there are parties, dinners, get-togethers and what we call “happenings” left, right, up and down.  We haven’t been home in two years and it is Jamie’s first trip over, so there are a lot of people to meet and catch up with.

The third (and main reason as to why I’ve stopped and taken the time to literally breathe) was because I almost stopped breathing yesterday… because Sam almost “stopped breathing”.  Let’s just say that the jetlag, the excitement, the fatigue, the erratic weather and the topsy turvy schedule all contributed to her fever yesterday.  To make a long story short, she was congested, tired, and sick, and I had caught her at the point where she was having a hard time breathing.  So much so, that she was turning blue in the face and was quite unresponsive.  My husband and brother-in-law rushed her to the hospital (after I woke up the entire town with my panic), and after a battery of tests, the results showed that she had an upper respiratory tract infection that needs to be treated with antibiotics.  The main “prescription” if you will, was rest and taking it easy for the next couple of days.

I tell you, that is not something I want to relive!  I keep replaying the moment in my head over and over again, and while it may seem a fraction of a time for some, it really just felt like ages to me.  I even ask myself if I may have just imagined it all, and I asked my sister, who was beside me at the time if I did; but she said no, that Sam had actually turned pale.

The doctor in the emergency room told me that when a child’s temperature starts to go up, their heart rate slows down, causing them to breathe more slowly.  And then as their temperature spikes, the body compensates and they start to breathe much faster as if they’re gasping for air.  So she supposes that I had caught Sam at that exact point when her heart rate was slowing down.  That, coupled with her congestion and her sleep-deprived self, may have contributed to why I thought she was about to stop breathing.  I figure this information might be useful to you so as to help you just in case (knock on wood that it doesn’t!  It’s too scary!)

Now that my breathing is almost back to normal, I figure I’d share with you some thoughts about traveling into a different timezone with infants and toddlers.  Consider it my lesson from yesterday’s ordeal!

1.  Give a lot of leeway for downtime.  It is hard coming back home into the thick of the Christmas season because by nature it is the busiest season of all.  The kids will want to be a part of it no doubt, and will definitely not listen to the needs of their body.  That, and the jetlag will definitely hit them (you) hard.  So the next time we travel into a different timezone, I figure that I will hibernate with the girls for a week before telling everyone that we have arrived, and keep our activities and commitments to a minimum.  It is definitely not ideal in terms of schedules, but it might be the only way to avoid a trip to the emergency room in the future.

2.  Have a doctor on standby.  Thankfully my sister-in-law introduced us to their pedia years ago when we first took Sam home, and he met my girls a couple of days before when we went in for a check-up.  So yesterday in the madness, with my sister-in-law’s help, he was able to endorse us to the E.R. and help give some form of a background.

3.  Bring the medicine cabinet.  I used to think that I didn’t need to bring in the girls’ emergency meds because I could easily get some back here, but then I realized that the medicines that we give Sam (and Jamie) are very different in both countries, and a little of it has to do with the actual environment.  For instance,  Sam came in with a cough and some insect bites, and I showed the pedia the meds that we normally give her to treat them with in Chapel Hill.  He said they were all well and good but given the heightened pollution here and the fact that her body is not used to the weather and all, he felt better prescribing something else.  True enough, it turned out to be more effective for Sam in this particular environment.

My Mommyology Sick CHild

Finally asleep after a battery of tests. This goes into the baby book as the first trip to the hospital.

And so here we are, 36 hours later, and the girls are finally getting some semblance of a routine and Sam’s 1st trip to the hospital / emergency room under our belt.  She seems to be back to her self sans the fever, which is always a good sign.  We weren’t able to go on the company outing as a result, which left us with a free day at home with nothing planned.  That might have been just the thing the girls needed though amidst this bustling busy December.

December 12, 2011
by mymommyology
18 Comments

If the Magi Were Queens

My Mommyology Milk Mama Diaries

Milk Mama Diaries Carnival Logo!

Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (December).  For this month, we want to honor breastfeeding for having enriched our lives and blessed us, maybe even empower us, in a way that only breastfeeding can.  Please scroll down to the end of this post and check out the other carnival participants.

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Thinking about this month’s carnival theme “Breastfeeding Gifts” in light of the holiday / Christmas season, for some reason what comes to mind are the Magi (cue We Three Kings of Orient Are ).

We who have grown up living and breathing the Nativity story in our everyday lives know about the Three Kings that followed a star to Bethlehem and brought symbolic gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh to Christ the child.  It’s normal to take the story at face value and I have done so for years without question or putting much thought into it, until I became a mother.  As I experienced the challenges that came with motherhood, particularly with labor and breastfeeding,  I started thinking a lot more about the Virgin Mary.  She was 9 months pregnant when she crossed the desert on a mule (How did that not stimulate labor, I wonder) and gave birth to Jesus in a manger (with no epidural!  Oh my, I get weak in the knees thinking of it). 

When I think back to the first moments during and after my labor with Sam and Jamie, I think about what Mama Mary’s labor and delivery must have been like.  Quite honestly,  I cannot begin to fathom how difficult it must have been for her in the most unsanitary, most uncomfortable place on earth.  And then to undergo the struggles and challenges that come with breastfeeding a newborn, around a bunch of men no less, leaves me speechless.  We all know that breastfeeding is challenging enough on its own, what more when you’re around the opposite gender who don’t know much about the topic in the first place (sorry men… but you know it’s true) — I tell you, Mama Mary is my hero.

Which brought about my random thought:  I wonder how it would have been had the Magi been queens instead of kings.  Had that been the case, I don’t think gold, frankincense and myrrh would have been their  gifts choices (no matter how symbolic).  If I were to assume that they were wise as well in the ways of breastfeeding (doulas perhaps?!), they would have probably thought of gifts that were fit to help a breastfeeding mother.  One would have probably brought some clear broth or soup and rice, to warm the mother’s body but also to help build the milk supply.  The other one probably would have brought some lactation supplements, like Malunggay or fenugreek.  I doubt supplements existed back then, but I would assume one of them would have the leaves or the plants or something of that sort.  The other one would have probably brought some hot compress or blanket to hoist the baby on (making it easier on Mama Mary’s back), or maybe even something to soothe the cracked, sore nipples (Aloe perhaps?).  Undoubtedly though, they would have all brought some form of good advice or words of wisdom to help Mama Mary through the first few days.  Most especially they would have been comforting to have around even for a while; relating their own experiences or those of others whom they’ve encountered to assure Mama Mary of her own challenges.  Or so I’d like to think.

Of course I mean no disrespect in any way and believe wholeheartedly in the Nativity Story in its entirety.  I know we’ve glorified it to a certain degree but somehow a part of me feels that Jesus as a baby (while Holy), was still, for a brief period of time just like any other baby.  Which to me, made Mama Mary a mother that had to cope with her own daily struggles too.  Reflecting on this doesn’t diminish them in anyway, but actually makes me appreciate them and the “spirit of Christmas” even more.  And all the more, it emphasized the importance of having friends or a support group to see you through your breastfeeding (motherhood) challenges, no matter what shape or form they come in.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, breastfeeding is no easy task, and it takes a whole community of constant support to get you through it.  Tangible gifts are always nice and helpful, but knowing that other moms are going through what you currently are going through, or are there for you to encourage you and keep you going (for as long as you want to, or however you want to), to me that is the most valuable gift any person can give a breastfeeding mom.

Advanced happy holidays! 😉

Check out the other Carnival posts here:

Shaps- Beyond Being Thin
Gretchen – Breastfeeding Gifts for Christmas
Carol – The Gift of Miracle
Jenny O.- The Gifts of Breastfeeding
Anne – The Gift
of Breastfeeding
Nats – We Wish You Merry Nursing
Em – The “Breast” Gift
Isis- Got Milk?
Armi – Breastfeeding Gifts
Liv – My Breastfeeding Journey
Laya – Time in a Drop of Milk
Mec – The Gift of a Changed Man
Marnellie – From a Donee to a Donor
Icar – Breastfeeding Gifts

December 11, 2011
by mymommyology
7 Comments

Of Birthdays, Princesses and Dinosaurs

Last Saturday Sam had her third birthday celebration with friends and some family.  This was a plan that was long in the making, as from the first set of birthdays of the kids in her playgroup, she made it a point to tell her dad and myself that she wanted a birthday party on her birthday.  I was fairly happy to comply (seeing as how I would really only be doing the planning and not the paying, heehee), but the big problem I always encounter is the weather.  Sam is a winter baby, and so outdoor playgrounds are always out of the question — even if the kids can bundle up, it’s just too cold a time to socialize for over two hours!

Thankfully, Helene (my trusted source and friend for all things great in Chapel Hill)  introduced us to Bull City Crafts, a quaint Art Store and Crafts Boutique in Durham that does indoor craft birthday parties.  We tested it out for one of our playdates and Sam (and Elie too!) loved the activities.  The birthday package costs weren’t so bad either, considering all that was included.  Essentially, we just had to show up.

My Mommyology Princess & Dino @Bull City

Pictures of the party bags (which have our princess & dino theme) and the party venue.

From the moment that I mentioned to Sam that we were having her birthday party there, she was immediately involved in all of the party planning elements.  It was kind of funny and amusing, because she knew exactly what she wanted from the get-go:  A princess and dinosaur theme (Who would have thought that combination could exist right?), in red (her favorite color), with red velvet cake.  Not chocolate, not vanilla, as most kids would pick — Red Velvet.  The shop owner Jessica was taking all of these details down on the day we made the reservation and was quite surprised at Sam’s sophisticated palette (I will have you know, that she does not eat much of a variety of foods, but she will eat the likes of Kare-kare, a Filipino peanut-soup like dish, and Pesto on her noodles — so yes maybe her palette is a little bit sophisticated for a three-year old!).  She also knew who she would invite to her special day, and so she made her own guest list.  My mother-in-law says she is the youngest party planner in the family.

Of course, we needed to put some personal “touch” to the party.  Sam sat with me as we picked out the princess and dinosaur icons that we would use on the invitations.  My mom took it a few steps further, and brought with her from Manila, sugar cookies, a birthday signage, name tags, loot bag stickers and cake toppers — all with the princess and dinosaur theme.

My Mommyology Princess & Dino themed birthday items

Thank you to all our Manila friends and relatives who made this possible!

Of course, it is not a “typical” Filipino birthday without the abundance of food!  Well, traditionally at birthday parties we serve noodles for long life, but I had already made Sam her noodles on her actual birthday and it may have been hard to bring it over for the kids to eat without making much of a mess.  Besides, they were all too busy making their wands  and crowns to really sit and eat anyway.

My Mommyology party food

Top R: home-made leche flan; Bottom R: Whole Foods pizza, fruits and veggies; Left: Treats from home!

All in all, it was a fun morning for both the kids and the adults, and most especially for the birthday girl!  Most of us who know how shy and self-conscious Sam is when put in front of an audience could see that while she was still reserved around the adults, she smiled demurely and was quite kilig (It’s our version of “tickled pink” I think) about her big day.  She also happily sat and opened all the presents she received and I have to say, she loved every one of them (seriously!).  We played with a lot of them the minute she got up from her nap.  It was as if she knew that day was dedicated to whatever she wanted and she totally lived it up.

I’ve been thinking back to Sam’s past two birthdays and it constantly amazes me at how much she’s grown each year.  So much changes in just a span of 12 months.  The fact that she is planning her own birthday party makes me feel so nostalgic and emotional because it’s just the living and walking proof at how my little baby is turning out to be such a little big girl already, and I can’t get over it!  It all goes by with just a blink of an eye; and while the challenges are different and I learn a little bit more on a daily basis, there’s no denying that it is still a whole lot of fun.  I am glad I saw and participated in every single day of Sam’s last three years (Yes, I have not left her for longer than 5 hours at one point in time!), and I can’t imagine what I would have done had I missed out on something.  Everyday just seems to be full of milestones to remember!

Ahhh, what fun.  So, until next year’s “birthday”… Now I wonder what that will be like?  😉

 

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