It’s 3AM and I just finished cooking the spaghetti sauce for Jamie’s school party, happening in a few hours.
The recipe called for wine, and so of course I helped myself to a little bit of it too. 😉
When my husband found out I had plans of cooking after getting the girls to bed (amongst the other things I still need to finish), he suggested I just order food for the kids from the regular fast food chains. And while I’ve every respect for the local and large fast food conglomerates of this country (I must not bite the hand that feeds the cradle, heehee!), I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. My girls get them often enough on a regular basis, I just felt that I needed to do something a notch above that, especially on the day they came into this world.
In a way, the frantic late-night cooking (and yes, the glasses of wine), are a way to distract me from crying about the time that is flying by so fast. Of course I am emotional — it is again, one of my kids’ birthday, and really this time, it’s my little baby who’s growing up.
Jamie is 3, I can’t believe it. My baby is “a real toddler now”, she says. Where did she get that phrase? And where did all the time go…
The birth order concept they talk about is true though, that youngest children are often babied longer. And they know it too! It’s a good thing that Sam loves her sister so much and their relationship is one for the books. I couldn’t ask for a better bond between those two, and it makes me genuinely happy to see the way they are with each other (despite their daily disputes!).
And while Sam can make me cry because her firsts are my firsts as a parent, the tears that come with Jamie’s firsts are because I know that they are my last.
I haven’t been able to come back and blog for a while. As you recall, I fired my yaya at the beginning of the year, and two months later, I still don’t have a replacement for her. I have a cleaning lady that comes in once or twice a week to get things in order, and my Mom’s trusted helper of 20 years also assists in shuttling the kids back and forth weekly. No one stays in to pick up and clean and wash the dishes and do the laundry. That’s all fallen on me, on top of everything else I’ve had to do. I’ve never felt busier. I can’t wrap my finger around why, but it is harder to be help-less in Manila than it was in Chapel Hill. I’m fine with it though, because it gives me more time with the girls and adjusting to their schedules.
With my emotion-led Jamie — every day is a surprise. You never know what you’re gonna get out of my little Dove. There are a lot of factors that affect her mood and disposition on a daily basis, so I feel like I’m drawing a wildcard each time she wakes up. She keeps me on my toes, and hopefully she will keep my young. 😉 In fact I catch glimpses of what our future days will be like when she is older, and a little bit more headstrong. Ohhh boy!
Looking back at the last three years, Jamie has grown so so very much. I suppose the better term is blossomed. She’s not as shy as she used to be. It’s crazy listening to her own observations and perceptions of the world. She’s always asking WHY. And she has the sharpest memory — I’m genuinely impressed. She’s become more independent and a tad bit braver, but also more confident in herself and her abilities. I love how I still continue to discover new things about her and decipher what it is she needs to learn or loves to do.
And yet despite all these changes and nuances and variables thrown my way, I still love how she knows that she really still is — and will always be — our baby.
Even if she won’t remember me losing sleep because I cooked and fixed the house to make her birthday morning exciting (and in the end it probably wouldn’t matter to her if I went with the fast food option), I’d still do it this way anyway.
Happy 3rd birthday to my darling. No matter how old, you’ll always be our awesome little princess.