My Mommyology

Learning from Motherhood.

December 2, 2010
by mymommyology
9 Comments

Of Baked Spaghetti and Broken Window

There are two main parts to this particular post.  The first is about keeping family traditions.  I am definitely all for it, and teaching it to my girls.  Believing in Santa, Celebrating New Year’s with 12 grapes and coins in your pocket, and all of that.  With my own little family, I also like to start my own traditions.  Admittedly I haven’t thought of very many yet, but I’m sure some will come to me soon.

Now the second part.  My husband is a picky-eater (there’s a connection soon, I promise), and the food critic in the family.  So to him, a good meal is when he has a Ratatouille moment.  You know, that scene in the movie, when Anton Ego the feared restaurant critic had his flashback? 

Well, put simply — that is what he expects of my cooking.  Each meal should remind him of his home-cooked food growing up.  Now to me, that is a high high high standard, as my in-laws are great at food and have been cooking for ages.  I on the other hand, only learned 5 years ago when we got married, and frying pork chops correctly were a feat.  And I don’t measure.  Talk about compounding pressure to serve a good meal!

Anyway, he wants our kids to have those moments too and to grow up with his favorite meals — baked spaghetti and broken window in particular.  I generally don’t have any traditional foods to eat, so I was amenable, albeit nervous. Mind you, it wasn’t just any kind that you buy at Goldilocks or Red Ribbon, but the one that his aunt would make; and only she would actually make it the way he liked it.  So now that Sam was two and we were having a little celebration with her friends, he asked me — well, challenged is the better term — to make it “old style”.

My in-laws are the loveliest people in the world (and I sincerely mean that!), and my cousin-in-law and her mom did all they could virtually to ensure I succeeded, but I’d have to say I lost sleep thinking about how to get it “right” (Note: right = husband’s standards).  I’m asked to try and re-create a tradition that is not one of my own family.  It’s unknown territory, and any mistake or slight variation feels like — sacrilege!  Remember, I’m no chef.  Talk about pressure (I know now I have performance anxiety):  to serve a typical family tradition meal, on my daughter’s 2nd birthday, for our friends who don’t normally eat typical Filipino food.

My Mommyology Baked Spaghetti

The traditional birthday baked spaghetti

My Mommyology Broken Window

Broken Window -- I'm only too happy it stood on its own.

Days later, I am alive and breathing normally.  These are the finished products, and according to husband-the-food-critic, it does taste like his childhood memory birthday food (in spite of me adding my own little twists to it that he does not know of.)

Now it’s a matter of repeating it (successfully) year after year after year… if I can!

The Moral of the Story: Find a rat as cute (and clean) as Remy, and ask him to cook for you.

December 1, 2010
by mymommyology
6 Comments

Thanksgiving in Two’s.

I always cry on Sam’s birthday.  To be fair, it’s only been three times — the day I gave birth (self-explanatory) and then again on her first birthday.  I think I cried because I couldn’t believe I made it through one year without sleep and was still standing.  This year, it was something she said that triggered it.

Lately she has been repeating questions we ask her in the form of sentences (as that is how she hears them from me).  “Are you all done?” when she won’t eat anymore.  “You want to watch Sesame Street and drink milk?”  when she’s asking for TV time.  “Are you tired?” obviously, when she is tired.  A few days before her birthday, we were in the bathroom and she was on the counter while I was coming her hair and getting her ready for bed.  Out of the blue she stood up and just gave me the biggest, tightest hug, and then kissed me on the nose said, “Are you my big girl?”, something I have been saying to her to prepare her for the arrival of her little sister.  It was the sweetest thing, because I do all of that to her (tight hug plus kiss on the nose).  Of course when I thought about it again on her actual birthday, the tears came rolling in.

Maybe this pregnancy is making me hormonal and emotional, but really, if I were to talk about the true meaning of thanksgiving for me — it would be because of my very own little turkey of a two-year old (at the time of my pregnancy, we didn’t know her gender, and since I was due on thanksgiving, we called her Turkey).  And while there are days when I wish it could be easier, there are infinitely more days when I am glad that it’s just me, and thankful for the opportunity to see it all and experience every single detail of her life as it goes by.  I know I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

 

How can someone so tiny make such monumental changes in your life?

And soon, there will be two…

 

To my darling Sammie-Pooh.  I thank God everyday for little girls like you.

November 28, 2010
by mymommyology
0 comments

The Santa Debate

My Mommyology's Santa Claus

To Claus or Not to Claus?

With less than 30 days until Christmas, every store around the area has some sort of holiday decor and Christmas cheer.  Suddenly, we are walking through the mall by the big trees and the reindeer and Sam points into the distance and says, “Who’s that Mommy?”

Of course I look up to find a very authentic looking Santa Claus staring right back at her, waving with his jingle bells.  (Side note: I love how the Santa Clauses of our imaginations all look so real here in the States.  They’re burly and rosy with real white beards, and hardly any fake padding.  AND!  They they are jolly old souls).

At so it begins.  The introduction to the imaginary mythical character that is Santa Claus.  If you ask me, the optimist in the family, I am all for bringing a Santa into my kids’ lives.  You have leverage to keep them “nice” because they know that if they are, Santa will reward them in the end.  Heck, it always worked for me.  I loved the idea that I would write a letter and it would mysteriously disappear into the North Pole and I would just find out on Christmas day if I was good enough for Santa to have given me what I asked for (of course, I made sure my letter contained the details as to where to find the item of desire).  And, I learned the value of patience — not pestering my mom to buy them for me now because Santa could bring them to me if I stayed good all year.

Dad on the other hand, is the realist in the family, and a very practical persona at that.  So he questions, “If we have the power to influence our kids as they grow up, then why even bother teaching them about Santa?  Isn’t it better to reward them from you when they are good?”  I of course, scowled at him for 2 days when he said this, but then reconsidered when I spoke to some of my mommy friends here with different cultural beliefs and practices from mine.  They never grew up with a Santa Claus, and are not planning to bring them in to their kids’ lives.  So daddy’s point of view made sense to them.  You can still have a Merry Merry Christmas or a Happy Holiday and raise and reward nice children without the presence of a Santa.

Interesting thought.  Sans the analogy of Santa replacing “God” and promoting commercialism into your family (we don’t want to go there), which rewards method is more effective in the long-run?  Are you teaching your children imagination, creativity, and perseverance, or how to tell white lies to get what you want in the end?

Share your thoughts!  I’d love to hear them!

November 26, 2010
by mymommyology
17 Comments

It’s All About the Teacher: A Mommyology Review

My Mommyology loves Kindermusik!

Rebecca is awesome. We love her!

I would like to dedicate this post to a wonderful children’s teacher — my daughter’s Kindermusik instructor, Rebecca Dyck.

I’ve taken Sam to several different classroom and developmental settings over the course of her 2-year life.  Even I, in my past life, have taught part-time in a children’s play and learn franchise in Manila and have seen and felt the difference from what we get with Rebecca as a teacher.  After being with Rebecca for over a year, I am convinced that the supplemental development of your toddler (and mine!) is highly highly highly dependent on the teacher, more than it is on the program.

I feel that set curricula and the science behind each children’s learning franchise such as Kindermusik are only half of the equation.  Well, 1/3 really, if you count the parents’ role in their lives.  It is the teacher who brings it to life, and adapts it to the level that her class can take.  What’s important as well, is that the teacher educates the parent / guardian on the rationale behind each activity, so that they understand its importance, and can reinforce it at home.  Some teachers I know will take the lesson plan and use it as is, even if it might not make sense to anyone, and I that can be very isolating.

I truly believe, Rebecca has played a big role in Sam’s over-all development and love for music.  Sam imagines, sings and remembers a lot of what we do in our Kindermusik class on a daily basis, and is always out for more.  She can even adapt it to the situation that we’re in at the moment.  For instance, the song “Hot Cross Buns”, when we’re eating a donut that I’ve just heated, or chicken soup which needs some cooling, she will change the lyrics on her own to sing “Hot hot donut” or “hot chicken soup”, in the same tune.  It is amazing and amusing to hear. I’m sure I’m not the first parent to say that!

Thank you Rebecca, for bringing out the best in her and in everyone in the class.  What would we do without you!

The Moral of the Story: Never settle for a mediocre teacher for your toddler.  It doesn’t matter if the institution is well-known and established, but it does make a difference that the teacher/s are progressive, passionate, and are committed to your toddler’s individual development.

November 24, 2010
by mymommyology
14 Comments

My Sammie Can Read

— This is a story we’ve told  friends and family who know Sam and have seen her actually reading, so I thought it would be best to include it as part of Mommyology.  For all intents and purposes, it was an “experiment”, and I’d have to say, a good one at that!  See for yourself. —

One night two years ago, my husband was zapping through channels and he caught the infomercial of Your Baby Can Read, an early language development system for children under 5.  He was quite skeptical about it in the beginning, but somehow decided that it was something Sam and I could do during the day while he was at school.

We began the program when she was 3 or 4 months old, and continued everyday, twice a day.  The first results were seen when she was 10 months old; I would write a word down, and she could point to what it was, or act it out (ie, clap).   It started out as 4 or 5 words, and then as the months passed, her vocabulary and word recognition grew exponentially.

This is Sam at 18 months, reading random words that I type, some of which are Filipino in origin.

Today at 2 years of age, I am quite proud to say she can read simple books with about 50-100 words in them.  And they are not just singular words, they can be whole sentences and full phrases too.  She loves books and we read all the time.  Even when we’re in the car, she reads street signs and restaurant signages, just out of the blue.  I sometimes wonder if she has just memorized the words completely, but even words she’d never seen before, she can somehow make out and read out loud.

Okay.  As I said it was a successful experiment.  Looking back, we would have never gotten to where she is now if it wasn’t for several things rolled into one:  a patient, continuous, sole exposure to the Your Baby Can Read program, at an early age.  It was the only TV she knew, and she watched it constantly.  This was supplemented by the books and the cards, so we could turn it into a game; or, if she wasn’t in the mood for TV, she still had the books with the words and pictures in them.  On top of which, I did not leave her alone to figure it out by herself.  I personally sat there, each time, and coached her through it.  It was an intrinsic part of our daily routine. Definitely a labor of love, and again a whole gamut of patience and perseverance!  I’d have to tell you though, that once she started to show signs of progress, it was beyond fulfilling!  How many people can say that their children can read at 2 years of age?

Now.  How it will work out with Jamie?  Give me a year and I’ll get back to you. 🙂

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