My Mommyology

Learning from Motherhood.

December 11, 2010
by mymommyology
11 Comments

Amazon Mom: A Wonderful Discovery

Admittedly yes, I am a converted online shopper.  I turned into one when I gave birth and couldn’t (or didn’t) want to leave the house with a 25-lb car seat and a 10-lb stroller in tow.  I’d end up forgetting the baby at home with all that weight (I’m kidding).

It’s convenient, what can I tell you.  And!  There are sometimes online promotions which save you money versus if you were to buy them in the store.  I also realized, that in our small town of Chapel Hill (unlike, let’s say, highly populated areas like New York or L.A.), companies tend to stock less in inventory, and replenish less frequently.  Maybe the turn-over rates are lower here, and I assume it is more economical to run a business that way.

Anyway as we all know, there are some essentials a mother can’t do without — diapers, wipes, paper towel rolls and laundry products, among other things.  I always panic when I notice we’re running low on these and sometimes the supermarkets are out-of-stock with the brand or the size that I use!  So it was a relief to come across this wonderful discovery (and thank you Helene for introducing this to me!)

My Mommyology Loves Amazon Mom

Hurray for you my friend!

Hello, Amazon Mom!  I currently only use it to buy diapers and wipes, since I have currently stocked up on other things like laundry detergent and the like, but I think I will put these other items on my list of regular deliveries so it is something I need not worry about in the long run (when I have two kids on my hands instead of just one, who knows where my brain will go).  I find too, from a marketing perspective, it’s a good way to drive loyalty.  Free two-day shipping, pre-scheduled repeat purchases on necessities at good value, and a whole lot of options.  It relieves moms like me of the worry of running out of essential items.  Plus, you encourage better future planning as a whole, while allowing still, a few impulse purchases upon surfing the site!  Amazon keeps track of your purchases and makes recommendations as well as to what you could buy.  You also have the option to delay shipment or advance it depending on your consumption level.  Or for instance, the pampers, when the baby gets bigger in size, then you can automatically just switch to the next size up for the next order onwards.

I am a fan.

December 9, 2010
by mymommyology
18 Comments

Aimee the Baby Bully

My Mommyology Bullying Toddlers

You'd think they were really innocent...

Sam got bullied (again) today at the Chick-Fil-A play area (same place as before!  That play area is cursed I tell you).  But this time, instead of two older boys who were trying to scare her away, the unsuspecting enemy came in the form of a 17-month old girl named Aimee.  Sam was victimized twice; the first one I assumed was an accident, because they were inside the slide tunnel and I didn’t see it happen.  Sam just came crying back to me, so in my head, either she didn’t get what she wanted or Aimee did something to provoke it (note, I don’t know Aimee and her mother from Adam — it was just one of those, “chat-with-your-fellow-mom-while-watching-the-kids-play” moments). Either way I thought it was harmless kids’ play (Aimee is younger and smaller – so how could she intentionally hurt another toddler?).   I didn’t think anything of it either, when her mom called up to say, “I’m going to buy food — you be gentle!” and then she left Aimee in the care of her 3-yr old brother, who was busy playing elsewhere.

The second time, I saw Sam coming down the steps.  I could only see her feet, so I watched when she stopped and stood.  Then I saw an extra pair of little feet walk towards her before I heard the squeal.  Another parent in the area had apparently been observing Aimee’s interactions with the other kids (he saw Aimee push his daughter or tap another child present from the back), and he said quietly to me, “She likes to hit.”  That’s when I stood up, and I caught Aimee reaching behind Sam’s ear, squeezing it with her little fingers with all her might (Filipino vernacular term: nanginginig sa gigil).  Of course without hesitation, my big belly and I squeezed through the opening of the toddler staircase to push Aimee’s hand away  (I now wished I knocked her senseless.  Sorry.  Just being honest).  I picked up Sam who by then was crying in pain.  I got her some water, calmed her down and we left.  Aimee’s mother was no where in sight (probably still buying food).

I didn’t know who I wanted to punch first, the little girl or the absentee mother.  Moreso when we got home, upon further inspection, I noticed Sam had a nasty scratch at the back of her ear, a little scratch on her face and some dried blood on her upper lip, which may have been a result of a hard scratch to the face.

When my initial anger had subsided I began to think of how children like Aimee develop these bully-type habits.  Even at 17-months, what she was doing didn’t look innocent, and it fit every definition of what a bully is.  But how do they get to that point in the first place?  And is that a precedent of becoming a bully later on?

Based on an article I looked up on baby bullying (and further reinforced by the TLC blog I just found) I presume that:

My Mommyology Baby Bully

Click on the photo to read about baby bullying from TLC and Jim West

1.  Her parents are too lenient with her:  She does have an older brother, so could she be left to fend for herself? Or are they just too busy to notice? Is it something that she sees, like on TV (I can only imagine the violence in the cartoons that she is exposed to because of the older brother) but is not corrected because they think it is harmless?

2. She is calling for attention:  Maybe her parents negatively reinforce this behavior.  When she hurts her brother and he complains, suddenly her mom is all over her and she realizes that.

3.   She is mimicking what she sees:  Could it be her parents’ disciplining method of choice?  Because it honestly surprised me that she picked the ear (or the back of it) to squeeze, and not a more obvious body part to poke.  The way Annie was taught a lesson at the orphanage.  So again could she have seen that on TV somewhere?

At the end of the day, Sam is fine and the scratches are fading.  No permanent damage has been done and it’s playtime as usual.  The incident of Aimee the Baby Bully is forgotten.

I on the other hand, have it stuck in my head —  I want to believe no parent will deliberately teach their children to hurt others, and will raise them right, the best way they can.  So as a parent (about to have another child!) how do you know that what you’re doing is enough, too much, or too little?  And if in case this type of behavior still prevails, how do you not see it and nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand?

December 8, 2010
by mymommyology
0 comments

“Like Mommy”

 

My Mommyology Like Mommy

Two peas in a pod.

Ever heard of the phrase, Monkey See, Monkey Do?  Normally it’s when your toddler imitates what you do.  Not so much in my case.  Apparently, I am made out to be the monkey by my very strong-willed, intelligent daughter.

 

Actually, I first started using the phrase “Like Mommy” to get her to learn certain things.  “Brush your teeth… like mommy!” would be one example, so that she could learn to brush her teeth by herself.  “Wear your socks… like mommy!” would be another one, so that we’d avoid protests on sock-wearing.  I would end up wearing socks and rubber shoes too, mind you.  Eventually, she would call it out when she’d want to do something and she would want me to do it too.  It got to the point that if I had to make her eat her vegetables, or wear a hoodie, then we’d both end up eating the same thing, and wearing the same thing.  Our neighbor once saw us walking out the door and he had this strange look on his face — we were both in hoodies, both in jeans, and both carrying Minnie Mouse dolls to the car.

Maybe if we both do it, she feels it’s acceptable, or it’s the right thing to do.  Or that she knows there is safety in numbers.  I hear that’s what you call incidental parenting. And while it is cute and funny and flattering to have someone watching your every move, it tells me just that:  that there is someone who is watching my every little move and taking it all to heart.  The good, the bad, the ugly, the funny; all of it, without filters.  I must say, it’s quite an effective feedback method.  The problem is when she picks up something that’s “wrong” — how do you correct it, when she sees, monkey’s already done it?

December 6, 2010
by mymommyology
0 comments

The New Gift Wrapping

My Mommyology boxes

Thank you to those that sent these. Without you, this photo would not have been possible.

‘Tis the season for deliveries.  Be they gifts, or shopped-for items, it seems like we see the UPS guy quite regularly around this time of the year (give or take two weeks).

He knows it too!  The other day after dropping off two packages, he said very matter-of-factly, “So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”  A couple of months ago, after we switched apartment buildings (from 7 to 8), a package was delivered to our old apartment, and yet he came knocking on our door.  It seemed like he knew where we were!  And, he told us to tell the sender that we’ve already moved.  I guess that’s how often he delivers to us, and I don’t even know his name!

Anyway, looking at the boxes from a Mommyology point-of-view, whether they are Christmas or birthday presents, they don’t look very exciting aesthetically.  I know, I know… from an operational and sustainable standpoint, of course this is the best way to go.  But a part of the thrill of receiving presents (for toddlers) is unwrapping a nice-looking present!  So why don’t Amazon, Toys R’ Us and the like, have nice boxes used for delivery?  Not the gift-wrapping option that some companies already offer, mind you (even I don’t click that), but ready-delivered nice, colorfully designed boxes / presents.  With ribbons!  Operationally yes it could be a pain, but… 1) it looks prettier when it arrives at your doorstep; 2) you know it’s a gift that needs to be opened on a certain occasion, and 3) if it’s for the kids, then they can enjoy opening it too, without mommy having to bring out the scissors or the cutter to get through packing tape.

Don’t get me wrong; while I love the convenience the online shopping and patronize the system, I always think to myself that sadly, the trade-off has taken away a child’s thrill of opening beautifully wrapped presents.  Or even my own thrill of opening a present!

Incidentally, I also have images of our nice UPS man in a red suit and Santa hat with a big red bag (instead of his brown uniform and hand-trolley).

December 4, 2010
by mymommyology
0 comments

Baby Naming

Thinking about Jamie’s full name (why are 2nd children’s names always harder?!).  At the gym earlier I tuned into the NBC Today Show which had a feature on the Top 10 Baby Names for 2010 and predictions for names for 2011.

My Mommyology Baby Names

Such an important choice, and yet they have no say in it.

They said:

1.  That 62% of parents in the survey believe that a child’s name contributes to his/ her success — Well…. to an extent yes.  Don’t names give you self-confidence?  I mean, if you’re proud of what you’re called then it won’t be a point of insecurity.  But who parent in their right minds would name their children a name they know would get mocked or bullied for?  Then again that could be relative.

2.  There is a “Glee” trend in the names, such as Finn and Quinn – I’m sorry, I’m not a Glee fan… the only reason why we tape in is because we’re trying to catch Charisse Pempengco on it (and I’ve only seen her once!).  But also when I think of the characters’ personalities, based on what I’ve seen, do I really want to be reminded of them when I look at my child?  And — how young are parents anyway these days that they are watching Glee?!

3.  For Girls, girls the unisex-sounding names are out and the more feminine-sounding names are coming back – Hmmm.  Sam and Jamie are both unisex-sounding, which is precisely why I like them in the first place.

Anyway, at the end of the day, the name (or nickname) that sticks is the one your friends give you.  Sometimes they can get pretty creative too.  I wonder why a baby can’t tell you what she’d like to be named?  After all she’s the one who’ll have to live with it for the rest of her life.

In any case, we’re still stuck.  I hope it comes to us soon!

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