My Mommyology

Learning from Motherhood.

January 26, 2011
by mymommyology
10 Comments

“You Want to Eat Lunch with Friends”

Last week I lost another hour of Mommy-Daughter time to pre-school, as Sam has recently voiced out that she “wants to eat with friends“.  When I pick her up after her 3-hour school day, we linger outside the classroom of the 2’s as she watches them and some of her 1’s classmates sit down and pull out their packed lunches. (she was put in the 1’s because of her cut-off birthdate, but the teachers allow the 1’s and the 2’s to play together every now and then.  Plus, she reads all their names outside the classroom door so she knows who they are by heart.) Usually I take her home like most of the 1’s, get some food into her and then put her down for a nap.

My Mommyology Lunchbox

Thank you Tita Cris, Tito Nik and Brandon for making this photo possible!

But — the request came.  Why would I say no, if so much good can come out of it?  She’ll learn to eat more independently, and she may just eat a wider variety of foods (Her teachers tell me she eats anything they put in front of her, unlike how she is with me at home).  She’ll get more time for socialization with friends, also signaling that she’s okay to be away from me for longer periods in a day.  This will be beneficial to me too, as the extra hour allows me to get more things done.  Plus when the baby arrives, it’s one hour less of adjustment time for all of us.

How providential was it that the week we decided to put her in for the extended lunch hour, Sam received an insulated lunch box as a gift.  She absolutely adores her little owl.  There are no complaints when you ask her to carry her lunchbox to the car and into the classroom.  It’s actually quite cute.

Obviously, she was ready and took the initiative to say so.  The irony of it all was that I wasn’t, and yet I couldn’t say no!  The first day I had lunch alone at home, I missed her terribly.  Even if I actually was able to sit down and eat without any interruptions, it just felt that there was something lacking and I’d misplaced my child somewhere.  Talk about separation anxiety!  I had this vision of a not-so-distant future when I’d just hear her running out the door, “bye Mom, not having lunch here!” and it closing behind her.  Heck I used to do that, and now here it is, happening to me, slowly but surely.  It’s nice, it’s exciting, but also bittersweet.  Literally speaking, in the blink of an eye, things start to change right in front of you.

Ahh, the Little Owl that made me cry.  Damn pregnancy hormones! 😉

January 24, 2011
by mymommyology
9 Comments

The Doula Discovery

My Mommyology Doula Discovery

Very apt photo of what a Doula can do for you (and your baby).

In light of this second pregnancy, one of the pertinent thoughts in my head is the need for a Doula.  Up until coming to Chapel Hill in 2008, I had never even heard of the term.  Now with March drawing closer, she is one of the people I can’t stop thinking about.

In Manila there is no need for a Doula, because you have extended family, friends, and household help (maids) and yayas that are there from the time you are pregnant, up to 10 years after.  Plus you have very strict rules in hospitals when it comes to the birthing procedures.  Here, extended family members sometimes have to fly over as needed, and not many have household help that stay in their homes 24-7.  I don’t know about other cities, but specifically at the UNC Midwives practice at the UNC Women’s Hospital, they are very supportive of alternative birth partners.  (Side note: I’d have to say I think my husband should be the only other person in the labor room with me, other than the necessary medical staff of course.  AFTER though at home, a doula is My Mommyology heaven).

In our area I found Triangle Mothercare, which caters to postpartum care for new moms.  They sent us KK, and she was (is!) an absolute angel.

My Mommyology Triangle Mothercare Doulas

KK is 2nd from the left, first row. THANK YOU Triangle Mothercare!

Each time she came, I had 4 hours of happy bliss.  She would arrive at 8:30AM, get Sam from me, and then I would disappear into the room to shower and sleep.  She’d only wake me if Sam needed to be breastfed, or if not, then I could sleep until she left at 12:30nn, just in time for lunch.  By some miracle, when I’d wake up, I’d find the laundry had been done and folded, the room tidied up, a complete meal on the table (that would last me and my husband maybe about 3 meals in total), and the baby snoring peacefully in her Pack ‘n Play.

But more than that, KK was (is!) one of the kindest souls I’ve ever met.  I learned so much from her too, that no book nor any other person has told me about caring for a newborn, information she culled from her vast experience as a Doula. Priceless really.  Beyond our contract, she also stayed in touch via email and would make social visits every now and then to see how we were.  She became family to us here and I absolutely loved it.

I’ve already confirmed KK for March, and I am quite excited to have her back in our weekly routine!

January 21, 2011
by mymommyology
0 comments

A Hippo-in-a-Harness Am I

Last week was a tough one.  Due to the bad storm which encased the cars and streets in a sheet of ice (basically), a lot of Sam’s regular activities were canceled.  So we got a little cabin fever.  I also hit my 31st week of pregnancy, which seems to be a milestone for all sorts of uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms!  On top of the usual itchy skin,  the bothersome sciatic nerve, and the occasional 3AM “wake me up” leg cramps and subsequent loss of sleep, I had to deal with a sharp, shooting pain in the lower right part of my back.  I thought it might be temporary and would just go away immediately.

After the 2nd day though when I found it hard to walk (or carry a suddenly clingy toddler), I called the Midwife hotline (Unlike in Manila, here you don’t go rushing to the doctor for every weird symptom.  They give you an advice line or a pager number to call and they will diagnose you over the phone). To make a long story short, I was phone-diagnosed with spinafia-disjointia (or something similar.  I’m not a doctor, how should I know!). It’s an inflamed, dislodged joint or nerve that connects the base of my spine to a part of my hip.  It was an aftermath of a combination of carrying a 25-lb toddler, and the movements of the 3-lb infant in my belly who may have “hit a nerve”, so to speak.

As with many pregnancy symptoms, I was told to ride it out.  This time, she meant it literally because I now had to strap in and wear these:

My Mommyology Maternity Support

Why does it always look more glamorous on pack than it does on me?!

Maternity support belts / braces / harnesses — whatever you call them.  They’re actually quite similar to the girdles I would see my mom wear when I was about 10 years old.  In fact I remember thinking back then, that you know you’re 30+ with kids when you find yourself in a girdle.  True enough, here I am.

I admit it is helpful.  It keeps the belly from sagging and my back from aching.  But still, I can’t shake the image in my head of me being quite similar to a hippo in a harness.  You’d think the pregnant women on the packaging would help you feel better about the whole thing, too.  On the contrary, I cannot relate!  I am definitely not as unfazed or as glamorous as they are, and to think that these were already the more comfortable choices I had.   The bigger one can get quite itchy  if worn for over long periods of time, and the seamless one rides up so it’s like there’s a tootsie-roll salbabida (English = those round lifesavers on boats) under my pants.  Both say that you can wear it comfortably under clothing — aha — NEVER BELIEVE IT!  Plus everytime I try to get myself into them, Sam is watching me with her head tilted to one side, as if to say, “what’s going on?!”

My Mommyology Hippo Tutu

There is hope for me yet...

Ahh well.  Such is a pregnant woman’s life ey? At least I know one thing — hippos can wear tutus too.

Soon.

January 19, 2011
by mymommyology
0 comments

My Mommyology’s Favorite Baby Device

I remember when we first did our baby gear shopping in preparation for Sam’s arrival, one of the things on my list was an audio baby monitor.  My husband the pragmatist (on a student budget no less) was arguing against it because:

1) our 2-bedroom apartment is small enough to get from the baby’s crib to the kitchen in 2 steps;

2) the static in such a small space would actually risk waking the baby up more;

3) there should be no point in time when she’s left by herself; and his favorite statement

4)  we didn’t have those as babies and we turned out just fine.

My Mommyology Infant Video Monitor

We don't know what we'd do without it.

Nonetheless the new mother in me, excited, paranoid, and stubborn, still kept it on the list when we entered Babies R Us.  While there I discovered that I liked the Summer Infant Day and Night TV monitor over the typical audio walkie-talkie ones.  My husband balked at the cost, $100 versus the budgeted $60. Yet after three hours in the store and multiple trips to the safety aisle to re-read the packaging, he relented and agreed that it would be our safest option.  I had of course used those three hours to educate him about SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) and make a major contention to his 3rd argument – that in reality at one point in time, the baby will be alone in the crib, for one bathroom reason or the other.

Now when expecting parents ask us for our opinion on baby gear necessities, we are unanimous in saying this is the first thing they should invest in (even before a crib, next to a car seat, but the latter is governed by the law so it doesn’t count). Our monitor allows us to close the bedroom door and have what we call “date nights”, eating a meal together or watching a TV movie, without the risk of waking our incredibly light sleeper. At the same time, we are able to keep a “watchful eye” on her.  We’ve even taken it with us on trips to visit relatives, so that both of us can enjoy some adult time while she sleeps, and not have to worry whether she’s awake looking for one of us and we don’t hear her, or if she’s inadvertently fallen off the bed and we don’t see her.  I use it during the day when she naps too, so I can do chores or enjoy some much-needed me time.  I feel it’s one of the most useful baby gear investments we’ve made.

Now with Jamie’s upcoming arrival, I need to make the case for upgrading our monitor to the Summer Infant Baby Touch version.

My Mommyology Baby Touch Monitor

Should've asked Santa to bring this for Christmas!

The talk-back feature is also useful during Sam’s on-going sleep-training  (more on sleep training developments in a separate post), and the swivel control on the lens allows you to pan the room, so I will be able to watch both kids sleeping!  It’s almost triple the cost of the Day and Night one though, so wish me luck!. 😉

January 17, 2011
by mymommyology
11 Comments

The Era of iPodatoes

My Mommyology iPodato

The new couch potato is the iPodato.

An iPod Anecdote:

Snowed in one Tuesday, Sam repeatedly asked to watch her Barney show on the TV.  She persisted all day, but I still kept trying to distract her with other toys.  She then asked for the iPod, so I compromised and said we would take turns, and I would go first.  To my surprise, she did not protest and sat down beside me to patiently wait for her turn.  At one point I handed her the iPod and stood up to go to the bathroom.

I came back to find that she had flipped to the Netflix application, one I didn’t even know we had on there, clicked onto her Barney program, and was now watching the show I would not let her see on TV — from the iPod.  She looked up at me with this triumphant grin and said, “Barney Mommy!”

I was yet again, out-smarted by my 2-year old.

So I have to ask:  Is there still a parent in this world that will leave the house without an iPhone, an iPod, or an iPad in their bag for their kids?  They provide such an easy form of distraction no matter where you are, that I now wouldn’t know what to do without one.  These gadgets and all their content, can keep Sam in place for at least 45 minutes, which is generally enough time for me to peacefully get some food down without choking.

She first surprised us one day, at the age of 10 months, when she picked up my iPod and slid it open.  Since then it has been a part of her vocabulary, and one of her constant “toys”.  To date we have purchased several applications for her to learn and play with, the likes of Duck Duck Moose for instance.  She even plays popular games like Angry Birds, and Cut the Rope.  I don’t know about the motor skill and mental skill development, I hope there is progress in that area, but I do know that she is learning to emphatically say things like, “Bonk the pigs Dad! ” or “That’s a Bomb!  Don’t cut it!  It might explode!“, when playing Fruit Ninja with her Daddy.  Ahh, the new generation.

Apple, you have once again made yourself indispensable in our daily lives.  And at such a young age at that!  Congratulations.

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